Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
I did not intend to write any more posts with the label 'Transition 2014'. I declared myself Done.
But.
If you write a blog with the title 'Beer Lahai Roi', whenever you are in a service in which the speakers talk about Hagar, you tend to prick up your ears.
Our quarterly women's gathering was this month...focusing on opportunities for service within the women's ministry department.
But our senior co-pastor and both campus co-pastors spoke first, speaking of Hagar, who first ran away and then was sent away. Who had an encounter with God Himself, who spoke into her and into her future.
Suddenly, in the midst of the meeting, I identified fiercely with Hagar.
I tried to run away, early on, and was told to go back.
In the end, though, I was sent away.
I thought I was over being wrecked but...I guess not.
I've had some conversations with God over that night, let me tell you.
And I have seen some things.
Firstly, what I saw was that Ishmael held the place until the promise came. He was evidence that God was working a miracle, even though he wasn't the miracle himself. What made Ishmael bitter was Hagar's attitude. Jealousy, disrespect for the authority over her, a victim mentality...who knows what was percolating in her spirit.
God keep me from Hagar's error.
Then I saw that Ishmael was not a product of Hagar's rebellion. He was a product of her submission and obedience, even if it came with a bit of opportunism. Our society looks very differently at the whole process, but in that day and that culture one of the highest achievements a woman could attain was to bear a son.
Hagar had a son. She had a promise and a future. She had hope.
All of those things were represented by a son.
But Ishmael was more his mother's son than his father's son. None of his actions reflected the character of his father. The wounds in his mother influenced him.
God, teach me to heal my wounds rather than propagate them.
What would Ishmael's place have been if his mother had encouraged him to grow into his father's character? How would he have treated his younger brother, the true heir? How would history have played out if the older brother had seen himself as the protector and guardian of the younger instead of the rival?
Hagar had two supernatural encounters in her life, but she failed to apply the lessons of them to her spirit.
God, do not let me only superficially respond to Your Spirit. Let Your words and Your instruction change who I am and how I react. Let me always use any influence I have to encourage others to develop the character of their Father.
There is a part two for this, dealing with lies of the enemy. Stay tuned.
Showing posts with label Transition 2014. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Transition 2014. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2015
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Goodbye, 2014...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
I just did a quick check over the last 6 years that I've been here on Beer Lahai Roi, and was a bit surprised that I did not post on Dec. 31 for any of them.
New Year's being a time of reflection and all, I figured I'd done it at least once. But...no.
So 2014 is going to be a shift on that, too.
Last year, I looked up all the 20:14 verses . I went back and read them again, looking to see if there was any premonition in them of the shifting and ending that would happen in 2014.
There were verses that came to mind at various points in the year...notably 2 Chronicles 20:14, as that had a direct influence on a situation I found myself in...but the one that seemed to sum up the year was from 2 Kings...in which Hezekiah mentions that the guests he had just entertained were from Babylon, little knowing what that would bring about down the road.
Who would've guessed that by the end of the year I would no longer be involved in ministry to teen girls or that My Sweet Babboo would be looking for a job? (By the way...it looks like he is set to start a new job on January 20, unless something goes wildly wrong. More on that once all the details are set...).
I did skim through the 20:15 verses in the ESV on the computer desk; as they are just the next verse after the 20:14 verses, there wasn't really any new revelation. But 2 Chronicles was a repeat of a theme for me in the last year:
And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's...' "
And, as I see a great need for me to use words more judiciously, Proverbs 20:15 also stood out:
There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
I need to remember that the battle is not mine, but God's, and to reflect His knowledge in my speech at all times. That's a good focus for the year.
2015 looks to be a year of new beginnings. I'm feeling optimistic that the circles will come around; the things that ended in 2014 will turn into new opportunities, and this time next year I'll look back on the year and see change...not in terms of endings but in terms of growth.
So...for all my friends who are following me along this journey, thanks so much for stopping by, and God bless you and yours in 2015!
I just did a quick check over the last 6 years that I've been here on Beer Lahai Roi, and was a bit surprised that I did not post on Dec. 31 for any of them.
New Year's being a time of reflection and all, I figured I'd done it at least once. But...no.
So 2014 is going to be a shift on that, too.
Last year, I looked up all the 20:14 verses . I went back and read them again, looking to see if there was any premonition in them of the shifting and ending that would happen in 2014.
There were verses that came to mind at various points in the year...notably 2 Chronicles 20:14, as that had a direct influence on a situation I found myself in...but the one that seemed to sum up the year was from 2 Kings...in which Hezekiah mentions that the guests he had just entertained were from Babylon, little knowing what that would bring about down the road.
Who would've guessed that by the end of the year I would no longer be involved in ministry to teen girls or that My Sweet Babboo would be looking for a job? (By the way...it looks like he is set to start a new job on January 20, unless something goes wildly wrong. More on that once all the details are set...).
I did skim through the 20:15 verses in the ESV on the computer desk; as they are just the next verse after the 20:14 verses, there wasn't really any new revelation. But 2 Chronicles was a repeat of a theme for me in the last year:
And he said, "Listen, all Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem and King Jehoshaphat: Thus says the LORD to you, 'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's...' "
And, as I see a great need for me to use words more judiciously, Proverbs 20:15 also stood out:
There is gold and abundance of costly stones, but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
I need to remember that the battle is not mine, but God's, and to reflect His knowledge in my speech at all times. That's a good focus for the year.
2015 looks to be a year of new beginnings. I'm feeling optimistic that the circles will come around; the things that ended in 2014 will turn into new opportunities, and this time next year I'll look back on the year and see change...not in terms of endings but in terms of growth.
So...for all my friends who are following me along this journey, thanks so much for stopping by, and God bless you and yours in 2015!
Sunday, December 21, 2014
I will find myself...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Back in September, I wrote about a song that just undid me in worship...
As it happened, the worship teams from all campuses came together last fall to do some music videos and 'All Is Lost' was one of the songs that we recorded that night.
All is Lost from The Rock Family Worship Center on Vimeo.
Worth a listen...
Because that song continues to minister to me. Just this past week, in fact, I was puzzling over one area that was still not really quite healed, still painful, still awkward. Not knowing if I needed to take a step towards a conversation about it or if I needed to still follow the word that I had from the beginning to keep silent and let God work for me.
And after listening to a timely message, the chorus to this song came back to me... 'When all is lost, I will find myself in You.'.... and I realized that I didn't need to look for the answer to my questions by trying to fix something on my own. It is IN HIM that I will find myself...find my peace...find my answers and find my closure.
I will find myself in Him...
Back in September, I wrote about a song that just undid me in worship...
As it happened, the worship teams from all campuses came together last fall to do some music videos and 'All Is Lost' was one of the songs that we recorded that night.
All is Lost from The Rock Family Worship Center on Vimeo.
Worth a listen...
Because that song continues to minister to me. Just this past week, in fact, I was puzzling over one area that was still not really quite healed, still painful, still awkward. Not knowing if I needed to take a step towards a conversation about it or if I needed to still follow the word that I had from the beginning to keep silent and let God work for me.
And after listening to a timely message, the chorus to this song came back to me... 'When all is lost, I will find myself in You.'.... and I realized that I didn't need to look for the answer to my questions by trying to fix something on my own. It is IN HIM that I will find myself...find my peace...find my answers and find my closure.
I will find myself in Him...
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Those Cards...
Posted By Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Two weeks ago, I had the idea that I could take those cards from Dive and go through them one at a time, praying over it and listening to see how it should impact my life.
So, when we got our overnight getaway to celebrate My Sweet Baboo's birthday, I took the cards and my journal and picked up the first one.
The gist of the card was that I need to make room daily for time with God.
That was one of my big concerns this summer, when I was spending my lunch hours listening and journaling. I knew when the 40 days were up, I needed to resume the regular lunch; there's a fellowship amongst all the office ladies that I need to be part of, and it pretty much happens at lunch. Skipping it for a season is ok...dropping out altogether is not good. So I was concerned that I would not find an alternate time slot.
And, yeah, I didn't. Here and there, odd moments when I could manage it, but it was managed...not planned.
So the card kind smacked me...both at Dive and two weeks ago.
So I came up with a plan.
Unfortunately, the plan involved getting out of bed early.
Have I mentioned here before how much of a morning person I am NOT?
Fail.
Last week, I sat down with my journal and thought I would ponder card 2.
And realized I had not yet implemented card 1.
I'm determined not to rush this; I'm not going to card 2 until I have card 1 working in my life.
So...back to the bare facts that, if I'm going to manage a regular quite time with God, I'm going to have to get. up. in. the. cold. dark. morning.
So. Tomorrow's Monday.
Take 2.
Two weeks ago, I had the idea that I could take those cards from Dive and go through them one at a time, praying over it and listening to see how it should impact my life.
So, when we got our overnight getaway to celebrate My Sweet Baboo's birthday, I took the cards and my journal and picked up the first one.
The gist of the card was that I need to make room daily for time with God.
That was one of my big concerns this summer, when I was spending my lunch hours listening and journaling. I knew when the 40 days were up, I needed to resume the regular lunch; there's a fellowship amongst all the office ladies that I need to be part of, and it pretty much happens at lunch. Skipping it for a season is ok...dropping out altogether is not good. So I was concerned that I would not find an alternate time slot.
And, yeah, I didn't. Here and there, odd moments when I could manage it, but it was managed...not planned.
So the card kind smacked me...both at Dive and two weeks ago.
So I came up with a plan.
Unfortunately, the plan involved getting out of bed early.
Have I mentioned here before how much of a morning person I am NOT?
Fail.
Last week, I sat down with my journal and thought I would ponder card 2.
And realized I had not yet implemented card 1.
I'm determined not to rush this; I'm not going to card 2 until I have card 1 working in my life.
So...back to the bare facts that, if I'm going to manage a regular quite time with God, I'm going to have to get. up. in. the. cold. dark. morning.
So. Tomorrow's Monday.
Take 2.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Thought for the day...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
And now, for a little frivolity....
Two quotes that somehow have linked themselves in my brain and put themselves on repeat for the last week or so:
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus -- The Apostle Paul
I never look back, darling. It detracts from the now. -- Edna Mode
Even animated characters get it right sometimes....
And now, for a little frivolity....
Two quotes that somehow have linked themselves in my brain and put themselves on repeat for the last week or so:
But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus -- The Apostle Paul
I never look back, darling. It detracts from the now. -- Edna Mode
Even animated characters get it right sometimes....
Monday, October 20, 2014
The Other Side
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
3 months ago I believed there was another side...and I believed I would get there.
But I couldn't see it and I couldn't imagine how it would happen.
However...I'm looking around now and I realize that I really am on the other side.
I had a little counseling, I had a lot of friends praying, but mostly I had the grace of God.
I'm a little surprised that I'm here... because I couldn't imagine it, couldn't picture it even as little as 6 weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure I'm not quite the same person I was. I'm not sure I can identify exactly what has changed, but there has definitely been a shift in more than just my perspective.
So...lots of new stuff to take in, to ponder, to explore.
For those of you who prayed me through...thank you. Thank you....thank you.
God is faithful, and He is good.
3 months ago I believed there was another side...and I believed I would get there.
But I couldn't see it and I couldn't imagine how it would happen.
However...I'm looking around now and I realize that I really am on the other side.
I had a little counseling, I had a lot of friends praying, but mostly I had the grace of God.
I'm a little surprised that I'm here... because I couldn't imagine it, couldn't picture it even as little as 6 weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure I'm not quite the same person I was. I'm not sure I can identify exactly what has changed, but there has definitely been a shift in more than just my perspective.
So...lots of new stuff to take in, to ponder, to explore.
For those of you who prayed me through...thank you. Thank you....thank you.
God is faithful, and He is good.
Friday, October 17, 2014
...and it's a week later
posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Like any break in the routine, be it a vacation, a conference, a personal spiritual retreat, whatever... the true test of it is...did it make a difference? When you come back down from the mountain, be it literal or figurative, what has changed?
I know my mindset has changed; I've got closure on some things that needed closure. Even if I'm still a little sore in those spots, it's no longer a raw wound that puts me in an embarrassing emotional state when it's touched. I may be wistful or a little sad, but I think my sinuses are safe now.
I'm thinking of doing another study on the blog. I really haven't done one in a while...I'm not counting the Ephesians study, because that was really for the girls clubs and I just posted my notes here. But, well, I study better when I'm teaching something. So...anyway, I'm thinking. :-)
But really, I'm using my non-committed time at the moment to do some serious catching up on things that have been languishing on the home front. And it feels kinda good.
I know that there's more ministry coming, that I've got stuff yet to do, but I'm not going to worry about trying to find it. I have a feeling that it will be pretty obvious when I get there.
Like any break in the routine, be it a vacation, a conference, a personal spiritual retreat, whatever... the true test of it is...did it make a difference? When you come back down from the mountain, be it literal or figurative, what has changed?
I know my mindset has changed; I've got closure on some things that needed closure. Even if I'm still a little sore in those spots, it's no longer a raw wound that puts me in an embarrassing emotional state when it's touched. I may be wistful or a little sad, but I think my sinuses are safe now.
I'm thinking of doing another study on the blog. I really haven't done one in a while...I'm not counting the Ephesians study, because that was really for the girls clubs and I just posted my notes here. But, well, I study better when I'm teaching something. So...anyway, I'm thinking. :-)
But really, I'm using my non-committed time at the moment to do some serious catching up on things that have been languishing on the home front. And it feels kinda good.
I know that there's more ministry coming, that I've got stuff yet to do, but I'm not going to worry about trying to find it. I have a feeling that it will be pretty obvious when I get there.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
That Invisibility Thing...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
In all honesty, one of the biggest revelations I had last week did not come because I was at Dive, specifically, but just because I was pulled away from the normal distractions of everyday life and my listening was dialed in...
I took advantage of the workout room in the hotel, and Wednesday was one of the days I was up early and hitting the treadmill. The only person in the room, I had music on my iPod, but I was more or less talking things over with the Spirit as I walked.
And I was thinking about the girls clubs...the revelation I'd had about it during the fasting day and the difference that had made.
But there was still one aspect of that whole thing that hurt. It had to do with specific relationships, and I still wasn't sure how to deal with it. But as I was holding that up, asking what I needed to do to move through it and resolve it in my spirit, I got a flash of revelation about it.
'Oh...it's that invisibility thing, isn't it?' I said, suddenly remembering that my whole involvement in the girls clubs was part of what I had been told would be invisible. And, being invisible, I shouldn't wonder that there would be certain folks who would just not even see that I was walking through a rough spot and could use a little encouragement. I've run into it before, in other areas.
And if HE made me invisible...well, I can't put any blame on PEOPLE.
And the answer I got was, 'Yes.'
But He continued.
'But that season is over, too. You're done with invisible.'
I almost got dumped off the back of the treadmill.
'What?'
'You are done with invisible. The time in those classes wasn't just about you teaching the girls...you were learning, too. And now that season is done.'
Y'all, the world changed right there. I had the original word about being invisible in 2002....that's 12 years ago. I don't even know what it's like to be seen.
I changed the wording in my song lyrics slightly, because of that conversation.
Thursday evening, before we left our ice cream party at Rita's, she asked me, 'What are you going back to?'
I couldn't even answer that. I have no paradigm for not being invisible...for being in the front and not in the back. I have no idea what is coming next.
But I have a feeling I'm about to find out.
In all honesty, one of the biggest revelations I had last week did not come because I was at Dive, specifically, but just because I was pulled away from the normal distractions of everyday life and my listening was dialed in...
I took advantage of the workout room in the hotel, and Wednesday was one of the days I was up early and hitting the treadmill. The only person in the room, I had music on my iPod, but I was more or less talking things over with the Spirit as I walked.
And I was thinking about the girls clubs...the revelation I'd had about it during the fasting day and the difference that had made.
But there was still one aspect of that whole thing that hurt. It had to do with specific relationships, and I still wasn't sure how to deal with it. But as I was holding that up, asking what I needed to do to move through it and resolve it in my spirit, I got a flash of revelation about it.
'Oh...it's that invisibility thing, isn't it?' I said, suddenly remembering that my whole involvement in the girls clubs was part of what I had been told would be invisible. And, being invisible, I shouldn't wonder that there would be certain folks who would just not even see that I was walking through a rough spot and could use a little encouragement. I've run into it before, in other areas.
And if HE made me invisible...well, I can't put any blame on PEOPLE.
And the answer I got was, 'Yes.'
But He continued.
'But that season is over, too. You're done with invisible.'
I almost got dumped off the back of the treadmill.
'What?'
'You are done with invisible. The time in those classes wasn't just about you teaching the girls...you were learning, too. And now that season is done.'
Y'all, the world changed right there. I had the original word about being invisible in 2002....that's 12 years ago. I don't even know what it's like to be seen.
I changed the wording in my song lyrics slightly, because of that conversation.
Thursday evening, before we left our ice cream party at Rita's, she asked me, 'What are you going back to?'
I couldn't even answer that. I have no paradigm for not being invisible...for being in the front and not in the back. I have no idea what is coming next.
But I have a feeling I'm about to find out.
Monday, October 13, 2014
The Fast Day
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Sunday is Fasting Day for Dive Students...at least as much as they are reasonably able to do so.
The objective is to work on the ability to hear prophetically. We were each given a stack of decorative cards, with the numbers 1 - 14 written in a corner, and instructed to go off by ourselves and write something on each card...it might be a Bible verse, or a mental picture, or a phrase. Then all the cards would be sorted by number, and names drawn to determine who got stack one, stack two, etc.
I know this could sound weird to folks who do not actively expect the Holy Spirit to work through people in that way, but, wow, it was powerful. Over and over again, for each of us, the words on the cards were significant and many times incredibly specific.
I was number two; one of the cards I got repeated almost verbatim the message that Rita had written on the note on my welcome bag. One note card was something that was so apparently about the transition out of Girls Ministry that it totally changed my perspective on what I was to be praying about it and enabled me to release it even more. Plus, previous Dive students, knowing that we would be fasting and praying, also fasted and prayed and sent in words of exhortation and encouragement. It was amazing...it was confirming...it was intense.
I've read my cards through several times...and, so far, I haven't shared them with anyone.
It's still too precious.
Sunday is Fasting Day for Dive Students...at least as much as they are reasonably able to do so.
The objective is to work on the ability to hear prophetically. We were each given a stack of decorative cards, with the numbers 1 - 14 written in a corner, and instructed to go off by ourselves and write something on each card...it might be a Bible verse, or a mental picture, or a phrase. Then all the cards would be sorted by number, and names drawn to determine who got stack one, stack two, etc.
I know this could sound weird to folks who do not actively expect the Holy Spirit to work through people in that way, but, wow, it was powerful. Over and over again, for each of us, the words on the cards were significant and many times incredibly specific.
I was number two; one of the cards I got repeated almost verbatim the message that Rita had written on the note on my welcome bag. One note card was something that was so apparently about the transition out of Girls Ministry that it totally changed my perspective on what I was to be praying about it and enabled me to release it even more. Plus, previous Dive students, knowing that we would be fasting and praying, also fasted and prayed and sent in words of exhortation and encouragement. It was amazing...it was confirming...it was intense.
I've read my cards through several times...and, so far, I haven't shared them with anyone.
It's still too precious.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Not Quite Believing It
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
So. This is the week. Friday morning I get on a plane (I haven't been on a plane since 1999...) and head to Dallas for a week of creative worship workshopping.
And I'm taking a huge deep breath...it doesn't seem quite real to me. Yes, I've wanted to do it for several years. But...it really is a huge step out of the comfort zone.
We will present an original song to a board. We will have guitar classes (I have a guitar that I pull out and play with it...as opposed to actually playing it...every once in a very great while. I think I remember the C, G, D, F and A minor chords...). I'm not going to be at the top of either of those efforts.
But it's good. It's good to be challenged, to be put in a position of taking risks. Especially when, really, I'm not looking for validation as a worship leader or song writer or musician.
I'm just looking for the kick in the backside that will knock the melancholies out. A fresh vision to take the place of the one that has gone away. Courage to not take that personally.
Yeah, I'm still fighting that. It's crazy, but, well, it's the truth.
So I'm pushing past the comfort zone and headed out into something way different for a week.
I'm hoping I can articulate it when I get back. :-)
So. This is the week. Friday morning I get on a plane (I haven't been on a plane since 1999...) and head to Dallas for a week of creative worship workshopping.
And I'm taking a huge deep breath...it doesn't seem quite real to me. Yes, I've wanted to do it for several years. But...it really is a huge step out of the comfort zone.
We will present an original song to a board. We will have guitar classes (I have a guitar that I pull out and play with it...as opposed to actually playing it...every once in a very great while. I think I remember the C, G, D, F and A minor chords...). I'm not going to be at the top of either of those efforts.
But it's good. It's good to be challenged, to be put in a position of taking risks. Especially when, really, I'm not looking for validation as a worship leader or song writer or musician.
I'm just looking for the kick in the backside that will knock the melancholies out. A fresh vision to take the place of the one that has gone away. Courage to not take that personally.
Yeah, I'm still fighting that. It's crazy, but, well, it's the truth.
So I'm pushing past the comfort zone and headed out into something way different for a week.
I'm hoping I can articulate it when I get back. :-)
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Week of Praise Day 6
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
All of these verses I've been posting...it can seem kinda removed. 'God is all this stuff, so let's praise Him.'
But this morning I got a fresh look at a reason to praise Him.
It's all through Scripture, so I'm not going to go dig up all the references today. This is MY story.
He is worthy of our praise because He knows. He cares. And...oh, my...He responds.
This morning had been a bit of a battle in myself to stay in the ground I'd claimed, if that makes any sense. Then, scrolling through Facebook, I came across a friend's post. She'd posted it for her daughter and others who were off at college, but it was a highlighted Bible verse and the wording jumped straight into my heart.
As it happens, it's the Message translation, which kinda made me smile.
Rev. 3:8:
I see what you've done. Now see what I've done. I've opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don't have much strength. I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me when times were rough.
I wasn't looking for encouragement, but He gave it.
Because...He's like that.
And words can't express my thankfulness to my God, who gives us what we need when we need it.
All of these verses I've been posting...it can seem kinda removed. 'God is all this stuff, so let's praise Him.'
But this morning I got a fresh look at a reason to praise Him.
It's all through Scripture, so I'm not going to go dig up all the references today. This is MY story.
He is worthy of our praise because He knows. He cares. And...oh, my...He responds.
This morning had been a bit of a battle in myself to stay in the ground I'd claimed, if that makes any sense. Then, scrolling through Facebook, I came across a friend's post. She'd posted it for her daughter and others who were off at college, but it was a highlighted Bible verse and the wording jumped straight into my heart.
As it happens, it's the Message translation, which kinda made me smile.
Rev. 3:8:
I see what you've done. Now see what I've done. I've opened a door before you that no one can slam shut. You don't have much strength. I know that; you used what you had to keep my Word. You didn't deny me when times were rough.
I wasn't looking for encouragement, but He gave it.
Because...He's like that.
And words can't express my thankfulness to my God, who gives us what we need when we need it.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Here Be A Corner...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
This was the Women's Conference weekend.
You all know what state I was in heading into it...still trying to move through the transition process enough to get to the place where I could quit squalling about it at odd moments.
When the conference started, I wasn't there yet.
But God...
One session after the other pinpointed details of what I was dealing with. I mean, PIN pointed.
Skewered.
Down to the scriptures selected and the particulars of the situation and how I was feeling about it. Uncanny.
And I'm telling you, it was the ugly cry, y'all. More than once. My sinuses actually shut down at one point.
Fortunately, I suppose, I was sitting in the back so that my sometimes sobbing did not disturb anyone.
And I was frustrated.
I want to move forward...move past...get over...but it still hurt so much that touching it just brought out the waterworks.
At this point, it wasn't so much about what is past as it was feeling totally adrift...no direction or particular purpose. Just not knowing how to proceed...or even if I had any credibility left after being such a mush about it.
I felt like I was working with an open wound...that was bandaged well enough to hold together when I was actually serving in a position, but that had to be redressed and dealt with in each service. And it hurt.
The final message was brought by our only male speaker, Sean Smith. And I'll admit when he gave us the scripture reference, 1 Samuel chapter 1, I was disappointed. Hannah. In about one minute, I figured I knew what he was going to say.
Um. Not so much.
Oh, I suppose he DID say what I was expecting, but the context and presentation was such that, once again, it addressed EXACTLY where I was at that moment.
His conclusion was that, when all was said and done and Hannah had reached an intolerable place, '...she did the bravest thing she could do. She got up and turned her crying into praying.'
I confess. When the ministry time started, I pulled my leadership tag off and headed to one of my pastor friends, who has been one of the few people who has known the whole thing and been there for me since the beginning of it all, for prayer.
I ended up getting prayed for by three different ladies before I could get to her. The first was because the response was so great that they called on all the ladies who were scheduled to serve in any area today to pray...and one of them was close to me and so she prayed for me. She had no clue even who I was, but she prayed. Then I grabbed one of my friends as she passed by looking for ladies who needed prayer; she'd heard the whole thing from me in a long lunch not long ago, so I asked her to pray. After she finished, I saw that my pastor friend was available and I headed that way again, only to run into one other leader who asked me if everyone on that aisle had been prayed for. I replied kinda sheepishly that I was heading up for prayer and hadn't looked. So she prayed over me; I just told her my request was 'Purpose'; she didn't really know the story, but she prayed. When she finished, I saw that my pastor friend was back in front of her seat on the front row, and I made it to her and asked her to pray for purpose. She knew...and she prayed.
In all honesty, the music was loud enough that I really didn't hear much of what any of them prayed. But that's ok...I was prayed for.
Sean's instruction...turn the crying into praying...is my takeaway message from the conference. And I think I can do that...even if I have to grit my teeth, curl my hands and bang on the floor, I can pray when the tears threaten. Focus on the words that need to come out of my mouth instead of the hurt.
But that last prayer session was something of a breakthrough.
1) I pulled off my leader badge. My normal response would be to think 'I'm a leader, I'm needed to pray, so I'll pray for my needs at home but I'll pray for these ladies now'....sometimes ya gotta acknowledge your own need.
2) I didn't stop after the first lady prayed...or the second...or the third...In times past, I would've "settled" for the first prayer. Not meaning any disrespect or that I didn't appreciate each of the ladies who prayed, but I knew I needed prayer from someone who really and truly knew both sides of the issue. The other three were bonus.
This is transition. It will pass.
As I told My Sweet Babboo later, I feel like I've turned a corner.
Or maybe been pulled around one.
But I have a strategy, and I have the prayers of my friends, and I do believe it has shifted.
Thank you, Jesus. I'm ready.
This was the Women's Conference weekend.
You all know what state I was in heading into it...still trying to move through the transition process enough to get to the place where I could quit squalling about it at odd moments.
When the conference started, I wasn't there yet.
But God...
One session after the other pinpointed details of what I was dealing with. I mean, PIN pointed.
Skewered.
Down to the scriptures selected and the particulars of the situation and how I was feeling about it. Uncanny.
And I'm telling you, it was the ugly cry, y'all. More than once. My sinuses actually shut down at one point.
Fortunately, I suppose, I was sitting in the back so that my sometimes sobbing did not disturb anyone.
And I was frustrated.
I want to move forward...move past...get over...but it still hurt so much that touching it just brought out the waterworks.
At this point, it wasn't so much about what is past as it was feeling totally adrift...no direction or particular purpose. Just not knowing how to proceed...or even if I had any credibility left after being such a mush about it.
I felt like I was working with an open wound...that was bandaged well enough to hold together when I was actually serving in a position, but that had to be redressed and dealt with in each service. And it hurt.
The final message was brought by our only male speaker, Sean Smith. And I'll admit when he gave us the scripture reference, 1 Samuel chapter 1, I was disappointed. Hannah. In about one minute, I figured I knew what he was going to say.
Um. Not so much.
Oh, I suppose he DID say what I was expecting, but the context and presentation was such that, once again, it addressed EXACTLY where I was at that moment.
His conclusion was that, when all was said and done and Hannah had reached an intolerable place, '...she did the bravest thing she could do. She got up and turned her crying into praying.'
I confess. When the ministry time started, I pulled my leadership tag off and headed to one of my pastor friends, who has been one of the few people who has known the whole thing and been there for me since the beginning of it all, for prayer.
I ended up getting prayed for by three different ladies before I could get to her. The first was because the response was so great that they called on all the ladies who were scheduled to serve in any area today to pray...and one of them was close to me and so she prayed for me. She had no clue even who I was, but she prayed. Then I grabbed one of my friends as she passed by looking for ladies who needed prayer; she'd heard the whole thing from me in a long lunch not long ago, so I asked her to pray. After she finished, I saw that my pastor friend was available and I headed that way again, only to run into one other leader who asked me if everyone on that aisle had been prayed for. I replied kinda sheepishly that I was heading up for prayer and hadn't looked. So she prayed over me; I just told her my request was 'Purpose'; she didn't really know the story, but she prayed. When she finished, I saw that my pastor friend was back in front of her seat on the front row, and I made it to her and asked her to pray for purpose. She knew...and she prayed.
In all honesty, the music was loud enough that I really didn't hear much of what any of them prayed. But that's ok...I was prayed for.
Sean's instruction...turn the crying into praying...is my takeaway message from the conference. And I think I can do that...even if I have to grit my teeth, curl my hands and bang on the floor, I can pray when the tears threaten. Focus on the words that need to come out of my mouth instead of the hurt.
But that last prayer session was something of a breakthrough.
1) I pulled off my leader badge. My normal response would be to think 'I'm a leader, I'm needed to pray, so I'll pray for my needs at home but I'll pray for these ladies now'....sometimes ya gotta acknowledge your own need.
2) I didn't stop after the first lady prayed...or the second...or the third...In times past, I would've "settled" for the first prayer. Not meaning any disrespect or that I didn't appreciate each of the ladies who prayed, but I knew I needed prayer from someone who really and truly knew both sides of the issue. The other three were bonus.
This is transition. It will pass.
As I told My Sweet Babboo later, I feel like I've turned a corner.
Or maybe been pulled around one.
But I have a strategy, and I have the prayers of my friends, and I do believe it has shifted.
Thank you, Jesus. I'm ready.
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Wrecked.
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Just...wrecked.
As with any grieving process, there are good days (mostly) and not-so-good days (that catch me by surprise)
The truth is that this isn't even a major grief; not really. I mean, it's a volunteer position that got cancelled, if you really want to get down to the skinny on it.
That's all.
And yet, the church service today spoke to so much that is on simmer on the back burner, still being processed.
It began with the third song in the worship set today, an in-house song written by our own Adam Nelson and Johnny Okwu, titled 'All is Lost'. We've sung it before, but today the words Hit. Me. Hard.:
Verse 1
In the midst of the silence
I will wait on you
Can I hear your voice
Pull me close
In the midst of my darkness
Will you shine your light
Bring me hope again
Speak to me
Chorus
And when all is lost, I will find myself in You
(repeat)
Verse 2
In the midst of the silence
I will wait on you
Can I hear your voice
Pull me close
In the midst of my sorrow
I will count it joy
Just to follow
Will you lead me Lord
Bridge
I will sing the song of the redeemed
To my Savior, the one who rescued me
(repeat)
Y'all, I was on the front row of the choir in all three services. I *did* have a kleenex in my pocket, but it's impossible to be discreet about mopping your face if you're on the front. First service, I had to mop my face more than once. My Sweet Babboo, who was sitting in an airport watching online as he traveled to an out of town meeting, texted me that he saw the kleenex in use.
Sigh.
I actually only sat in the service during the 9 AM session; the other two, I worked on data entry in my office and watched online. Pastor's sermon was about the Face of Grace...and in describing God's grace, he described right where I was in dealing with trying to get over a hurt.
Good thing there was a box of tissue under the seat in front of me. I needed it all the way through that service.
I am recognizing that this is nothing to do with any one else and everything to do with learning to deal with it. If people needed to do something, then I believe God would move on them to do so. The fact that no one really associated with the issue has really reached out this way doesn't mean there's a problem with other people, it means that there's something here that I need to grasp; some adjustment that needs to be made and this is the only way it can happen. And it may be that this is going to break off of me any inclination to look to other people to salve the wounds and teach me how to get those solutions from the Spirit myself.
If I land on the other side, in the place where I can think about what has past without grieving that it is over but rejoicing in the good that came of it, and I have learned the secret of not worrying about what other people think....then I'd say it was worth it, even if some days in that process my jeans pockets are damp when I get home and empty the kleenex out of them.
And I'll sing the song of the redeemed, because when all was lost, I found myself in Him...
Just...wrecked.
As with any grieving process, there are good days (mostly) and not-so-good days (that catch me by surprise)
The truth is that this isn't even a major grief; not really. I mean, it's a volunteer position that got cancelled, if you really want to get down to the skinny on it.
That's all.
And yet, the church service today spoke to so much that is on simmer on the back burner, still being processed.
It began with the third song in the worship set today, an in-house song written by our own Adam Nelson and Johnny Okwu, titled 'All is Lost'. We've sung it before, but today the words Hit. Me. Hard.:
Verse 1
In the midst of the silence
I will wait on you
Can I hear your voice
Pull me close
In the midst of my darkness
Will you shine your light
Bring me hope again
Speak to me
Chorus
And when all is lost, I will find myself in You
(repeat)
Verse 2
In the midst of the silence
I will wait on you
Can I hear your voice
Pull me close
In the midst of my sorrow
I will count it joy
Just to follow
Will you lead me Lord
Bridge
I will sing the song of the redeemed
To my Savior, the one who rescued me
(repeat)
Y'all, I was on the front row of the choir in all three services. I *did* have a kleenex in my pocket, but it's impossible to be discreet about mopping your face if you're on the front. First service, I had to mop my face more than once. My Sweet Babboo, who was sitting in an airport watching online as he traveled to an out of town meeting, texted me that he saw the kleenex in use.
Sigh.
I actually only sat in the service during the 9 AM session; the other two, I worked on data entry in my office and watched online. Pastor's sermon was about the Face of Grace...and in describing God's grace, he described right where I was in dealing with trying to get over a hurt.
Good thing there was a box of tissue under the seat in front of me. I needed it all the way through that service.
I am recognizing that this is nothing to do with any one else and everything to do with learning to deal with it. If people needed to do something, then I believe God would move on them to do so. The fact that no one really associated with the issue has really reached out this way doesn't mean there's a problem with other people, it means that there's something here that I need to grasp; some adjustment that needs to be made and this is the only way it can happen. And it may be that this is going to break off of me any inclination to look to other people to salve the wounds and teach me how to get those solutions from the Spirit myself.
If I land on the other side, in the place where I can think about what has past without grieving that it is over but rejoicing in the good that came of it, and I have learned the secret of not worrying about what other people think....then I'd say it was worth it, even if some days in that process my jeans pockets are damp when I get home and empty the kleenex out of them.
And I'll sing the song of the redeemed, because when all was lost, I found myself in Him...
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Movin' On
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Can I just be honest? I'm really struggling with moving forward. In so many ways, I feel as if I've been boxed up...and, while I'm certain there's a way out of the box, I haven't found it yet.
Part of the reason is that to find the opening, I have to move somehow. And it's really, really tempting to just sit where I am and stare at the side of the box in front of me.
But that doesn't do anyone any good.
So, last night I took a deep breath and did something I've wanted to do for a long time...I applied to Rita Springer's Dive School . It's a week long intensive that focuses on releasing the creative...or, as Rita has described it when she's spoken about it on her visits to our church, she 'throws courage on women'.
Well...I'm pretty low on the courage meter right now.
And the plain fact is that I have not ever been in a position to have a true spiritual mentor. A week of sitting in a mentoring environment sounds amazing...even though I realize it is going to involve peeling and prying and breaking.
I've come 'round to see that it's time to go to a new level...forget what is behind and press on...although I'm pretty clueless as how to do that.
Maybe this is a start. Maybe the way out of the box is up.
It feels right, anyway.
ETA later that day...I got the email. I'm going to Dive in October...woot!!!
Can I just be honest? I'm really struggling with moving forward. In so many ways, I feel as if I've been boxed up...and, while I'm certain there's a way out of the box, I haven't found it yet.
Part of the reason is that to find the opening, I have to move somehow. And it's really, really tempting to just sit where I am and stare at the side of the box in front of me.
But that doesn't do anyone any good.
So, last night I took a deep breath and did something I've wanted to do for a long time...I applied to Rita Springer's Dive School . It's a week long intensive that focuses on releasing the creative...or, as Rita has described it when she's spoken about it on her visits to our church, she 'throws courage on women'.
Well...I'm pretty low on the courage meter right now.
And the plain fact is that I have not ever been in a position to have a true spiritual mentor. A week of sitting in a mentoring environment sounds amazing...even though I realize it is going to involve peeling and prying and breaking.
I've come 'round to see that it's time to go to a new level...forget what is behind and press on...although I'm pretty clueless as how to do that.
Maybe this is a start. Maybe the way out of the box is up.
It feels right, anyway.
ETA later that day...I got the email. I'm going to Dive in October...woot!!!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Miss Judy and Me
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Vacation week.
It was pure coincidence that my last, final night of working in Girls Ministry was the awards ceremony on the 6th...and we hit the road on the 8th, headed primarily to a family reunion, with the added benefit of celebrating my parents' 56th anniversary and a day at the Indiana State Fair...the first time I'd been to the fair in about 25 years. At the end of the week, My Sweet Babboo and I caught a couple of days on top of Mount Cheaha, celebrating our 34th anniversary.
Knowing that I was gonna get outta Dodge for a bit right after that last night gave me something to focus on and look forward to. I needed that trip for way more reasons than I could begin to articulate.
But I got a treat I had not planned on while I was away.
It just so happened that one of my aunts had reconnected with a lady we all went to church with when I was young...and who had been my Sunday School teacher and intermediate youth group leader back when I was in grades 4 - 6 or so.
She brought her over to Mom's just after we rolled in on the return trip from Elkhart.
In the same direct way I remembered, her first question was, 'Tell me what you're doing for the Lord!'
I discovered that I *could* talk about it without my eyes springing leaks. I told her of the transition, what I had been doing up to that very point...but that it was ended, and I'm not sure what is next.
And, true to form, she declared over me that I would continue to serve Him...that this is not the end of the line.
How incredible is God, to bring a voice from the past to encourage me for the future?
Vacation week.
It was pure coincidence that my last, final night of working in Girls Ministry was the awards ceremony on the 6th...and we hit the road on the 8th, headed primarily to a family reunion, with the added benefit of celebrating my parents' 56th anniversary and a day at the Indiana State Fair...the first time I'd been to the fair in about 25 years. At the end of the week, My Sweet Babboo and I caught a couple of days on top of Mount Cheaha, celebrating our 34th anniversary.
Knowing that I was gonna get outta Dodge for a bit right after that last night gave me something to focus on and look forward to. I needed that trip for way more reasons than I could begin to articulate.
But I got a treat I had not planned on while I was away.
It just so happened that one of my aunts had reconnected with a lady we all went to church with when I was young...and who had been my Sunday School teacher and intermediate youth group leader back when I was in grades 4 - 6 or so.
She brought her over to Mom's just after we rolled in on the return trip from Elkhart.
In the same direct way I remembered, her first question was, 'Tell me what you're doing for the Lord!'
I discovered that I *could* talk about it without my eyes springing leaks. I told her of the transition, what I had been doing up to that very point...but that it was ended, and I'm not sure what is next.
And, true to form, she declared over me that I would continue to serve Him...that this is not the end of the line.
How incredible is God, to bring a voice from the past to encourage me for the future?
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
The last lesson...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
If nothing else I taught remains, let me at least set an example of how to show honor and respect, regardless of any opinion I might hold or expectations I might've had.
It's going to happen soon or later, to everyone...you don't understand, you may not agree, and it hurts.
If the heart of the ministry is not after God's own, you may have to make a decision about where you really should be serving.
But if it has been demonstrated over and over again that the heart of the ministry runs hard after God, and you find yourself crosswise somehow, then you have to make a decision about how you're going to deal with it.
Fast and pray. Seek His heart. But do not offer up opinion or dissent or accusation.
It is a serious thing to touch the Lord's anointed.
So.
If I can model obedience, if someone can see that it is possible to stay in line even then, then...perhaps that is the last and most important lesson.
Seasons change. Transition happens. I don't know what He's doing, but I trust Him.
That is not a lesson that can be taught from the classroom..it's got to be demonstrated.
After the posters are down and the curriculum is boxed up and the pictures are all given away...the last lesson continues...
If nothing else I taught remains, let me at least set an example of how to show honor and respect, regardless of any opinion I might hold or expectations I might've had.
It's going to happen soon or later, to everyone...you don't understand, you may not agree, and it hurts.
If the heart of the ministry is not after God's own, you may have to make a decision about where you really should be serving.
But if it has been demonstrated over and over again that the heart of the ministry runs hard after God, and you find yourself crosswise somehow, then you have to make a decision about how you're going to deal with it.
Fast and pray. Seek His heart. But do not offer up opinion or dissent or accusation.
It is a serious thing to touch the Lord's anointed.
So.
If I can model obedience, if someone can see that it is possible to stay in line even then, then...perhaps that is the last and most important lesson.
Seasons change. Transition happens. I don't know what He's doing, but I trust Him.
That is not a lesson that can be taught from the classroom..it's got to be demonstrated.
After the posters are down and the curriculum is boxed up and the pictures are all given away...the last lesson continues...
Friday, July 18, 2014
Just the Facts, Ma'am
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
And, in a very late meeting after all activities on our last night, they also learned what is coming in the future for Girls Ministry at church. Now that the girls have heard, and I have emailed their parents, I thought I would explain what the shifting transition that has been so much in the forefront of my prayer and seeking time has been.
We have had a reorganization of sorts that began last year with the shift of 6th graders from the Children's Ministry to the Youth Ministry; early this year, Girls Ministry came under the umbrella of our Women's Ministry, where it truly belongs.
As part of the shift, there has been a decision to revise and relaunch our ministry program to girls. The new program will kick off after our Girls Ministry Advancement on Aug. 6, and there will be details about the exciting things they will be doing at that service.
However, this program will only go through 5th grade, and at this time there are no plans to continue a girls ministry-type program for girls in grades 6 and up; they are encouraged to attend and become fully involved in our youth ministry program.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to have been able to hang out with the young ladies in the Friends and Girls Only clubs; they have truly blessed me and kept me on my toes. They will forever be part of my heart and in my prayers.
Just returned from a great week at State Girls Camp; the seven girls
who went conquered their fear and rode the zip line across the lake, knocked
pool balls into the carpet ball pit, discovered that 'blob' can be a
verb, shot out of the end of the Wet Willy slide, paddleboated, made
new friends, learned that 'za' is a word in Scrabble, and heard some
powerful teaching on their identity in Christ from some amazing ladies.
And, in a very late meeting after all activities on our last night, they also learned what is coming in the future for Girls Ministry at church. Now that the girls have heard, and I have emailed their parents, I thought I would explain what the shifting transition that has been so much in the forefront of my prayer and seeking time has been.
We have had a reorganization of sorts that began last year with the shift of 6th graders from the Children's Ministry to the Youth Ministry; early this year, Girls Ministry came under the umbrella of our Women's Ministry, where it truly belongs.
As part of the shift, there has been a decision to revise and relaunch our ministry program to girls. The new program will kick off after our Girls Ministry Advancement on Aug. 6, and there will be details about the exciting things they will be doing at that service.
However, this program will only go through 5th grade, and at this time there are no plans to continue a girls ministry-type program for girls in grades 6 and up; they are encouraged to attend and become fully involved in our youth ministry program.
I am very grateful for the opportunity to have been able to hang out with the young ladies in the Friends and Girls Only clubs; they have truly blessed me and kept me on my toes. They will forever be part of my heart and in my prayers.
Monday, July 7, 2014
Clogging up the Works
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
I thought I could get around it by focusing on a Bible study.
But no.
I can't write the next Bible study post because The Transition is what's occupying all of my journal space and word smithing.
Even though I am trying not to have those imaginary conversations...
This is the last week of the 'fasting and keeping silent', but I'm not sure how much I will talk about it once I've passed the limit. It's going to be difficult, however it plays out.
Not only because it hurts so doggone much, but because ANYTHING I say could be misconstrued or misinterpreted.
And I am determined to do this right.
Because it would be so easy to get 'in the flesh' and do it wrong. But there is no closure in going that route; it only increases the potential for damage done.
So.
I will just say that two books, both of which I have read some time ago, have been influential in how I'm working my way through this.
Both are by John Bevere... Under Cover, which is about being under authority, and Bait of Satan, which is about the trap of allowing oneself to be offended. The principles taught in those two volumes have been extremely helpful in this season.
And I have had one revelation myself. Yesterday in worship, I realized that so long as I keep focused on Jesus, on what the Holy Spirit is saying to me through this, I am at peace and contented, recognizing that all things are working together according to his purpose. It's when I look around me, trying to decide who's responsible for these decisions and why and what is the impact it's going to have on folks I care about and...and...and...that I become upset and grief stricken and angry and all those things that go with it.
So that's a no-brainer, right?
I thought I could get around it by focusing on a Bible study.
But no.
I can't write the next Bible study post because The Transition is what's occupying all of my journal space and word smithing.
Even though I am trying not to have those imaginary conversations...
This is the last week of the 'fasting and keeping silent', but I'm not sure how much I will talk about it once I've passed the limit. It's going to be difficult, however it plays out.
Not only because it hurts so doggone much, but because ANYTHING I say could be misconstrued or misinterpreted.
And I am determined to do this right.
Because it would be so easy to get 'in the flesh' and do it wrong. But there is no closure in going that route; it only increases the potential for damage done.
So.
I will just say that two books, both of which I have read some time ago, have been influential in how I'm working my way through this.
Both are by John Bevere... Under Cover, which is about being under authority, and Bait of Satan, which is about the trap of allowing oneself to be offended. The principles taught in those two volumes have been extremely helpful in this season.
And I have had one revelation myself. Yesterday in worship, I realized that so long as I keep focused on Jesus, on what the Holy Spirit is saying to me through this, I am at peace and contented, recognizing that all things are working together according to his purpose. It's when I look around me, trying to decide who's responsible for these decisions and why and what is the impact it's going to have on folks I care about and...and...and...that I become upset and grief stricken and angry and all those things that go with it.
So that's a no-brainer, right?
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Facedown
Posted by Lisa Laree at Beer Lahai Roi
This is not a perfectly new revelation, but for various reasons I picked up my Bible during my 30 minutes in the sanctuary today and went back and did a little review.
Moses is really one of the most amazing characters in the Bible. He was put in charge of a whole bunch of folks who thought he was great when things were going good and then thought everything was his fault when things weren't...even when the problems were the clear results of their own rebellion.
If anyone had justification to get angry at folks and tell them a thing or two, it was Moses. On more than one occasion, he was misjudged, criticized, accused, threatened...and, with one notable exception, he did not retaliate at all.
Not at all. Even when those closest to him complained about him.
Do you know what he did?
In Numbers 12, Aaron and Miriam complain against their brother and fall under judgement...and Moses cried to God on Miriam's behalf; with no hint of bitterness or retaliation.
In Numbers 14, when the people were so dismayed at the report of the spies from Canaan that they revolted and wanted to select a new leader and go back to Egypt, '...Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before the assembly...' (v. 5; all verses today NKJV)
In Numbers 16, Korah and his posse confronted Moses over, of all things, tassels on their garments, saying, 'You have gone too far...why do you exalt yourself?' and we find in verse 4, 'So when Moses heard it, he fell on his face.'
When it was time to deal with those folks, several of them basically told Moses they were not going to come and talk to him because he had failed to do what they had left Egypt expecting. Moses got angry, but he did not reply to them or defend himself...he took his case to God for God to deal with it (vs. 15).
Over and over again, as I have studied Moses in the past, I have been amazed at how he handled some pretty malicious dealings. He did not try to defend or explain himself. He let God be his vindication.
That's really hard, you know. When there is conflict, when there is misunderstanding or misjudgement or even just a sharp difference of opinion, our human nature is to defend, to explain, to put the other person in their place, to make them acknowledge or validate our position or viewpoint or reasoning.
But that's the way the world does things.
Do not be conformed to this world... (Rom 12:2a).
Pretty much -- if it's the way the world, the old nature would handle it, that's the wrong way.
But the verse I ended up on is the one that gave me instructions:
Exodus14:14 -- The LORD will fight for you and you shall hold your peace.
This is not a perfectly new revelation, but for various reasons I picked up my Bible during my 30 minutes in the sanctuary today and went back and did a little review.
Moses is really one of the most amazing characters in the Bible. He was put in charge of a whole bunch of folks who thought he was great when things were going good and then thought everything was his fault when things weren't...even when the problems were the clear results of their own rebellion.
If anyone had justification to get angry at folks and tell them a thing or two, it was Moses. On more than one occasion, he was misjudged, criticized, accused, threatened...and, with one notable exception, he did not retaliate at all.
Not at all. Even when those closest to him complained about him.
Do you know what he did?
In Numbers 12, Aaron and Miriam complain against their brother and fall under judgement...and Moses cried to God on Miriam's behalf; with no hint of bitterness or retaliation.
In Numbers 14, when the people were so dismayed at the report of the spies from Canaan that they revolted and wanted to select a new leader and go back to Egypt, '...Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before the assembly...' (v. 5; all verses today NKJV)
In Numbers 16, Korah and his posse confronted Moses over, of all things, tassels on their garments, saying, 'You have gone too far...why do you exalt yourself?' and we find in verse 4, 'So when Moses heard it, he fell on his face.'
When it was time to deal with those folks, several of them basically told Moses they were not going to come and talk to him because he had failed to do what they had left Egypt expecting. Moses got angry, but he did not reply to them or defend himself...he took his case to God for God to deal with it (vs. 15).
Over and over again, as I have studied Moses in the past, I have been amazed at how he handled some pretty malicious dealings. He did not try to defend or explain himself. He let God be his vindication.
That's really hard, you know. When there is conflict, when there is misunderstanding or misjudgement or even just a sharp difference of opinion, our human nature is to defend, to explain, to put the other person in their place, to make them acknowledge or validate our position or viewpoint or reasoning.
But that's the way the world does things.
Do not be conformed to this world... (Rom 12:2a).
Pretty much -- if it's the way the world, the old nature would handle it, that's the wrong way.
But the verse I ended up on is the one that gave me instructions:
Exodus14:14 -- The LORD will fight for you and you shall hold your peace.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
And the dust moves on...
Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Life goes on, dresses get made, kids graduate, road trips are taken, there's a frantic rush to get the Girl's Ministry requirements in before the deadline...busy, busy, busy.
Sometimes busy is good; it doesn't allow much time for thinking.
And there's a lot of thinking that I'm trying not to do.
The swirling and shifting has begun to show signs of settling and, to all appearances, when the dust settles and everything has changed, I'm going to be right where I was...while all the rest has gone elsewhere.
Can you tell I'm writing very carefully here? I can't discuss it much.
And I really am pushing it to say that much. Just before we left for the expo, as I was trying to find my footing in the shifting, I got two very clear directives.
The first was to do a 40 day fast. Oh, not an extreme fast...just the 'no choice foods' type fast....and spend my lunch hour with my journal and Bible in the sanctuary (one of the benefits of working at the church) looking for peace and direction and, oh, a number of things all connected in some way.
The second was to not talk about The Shift until after the fast is over.
That way I won't say anything that could cause trouble.
So that's where I am at the moment. And I will say that there is a plus to shifting like this...it pushes me to push into God in ways I never have before. And I CAN most definitely talk to HIM about it.
You know, that's an amazing place to be. But it is worth noting that the fast will end the day before my birthday.
God has pretty cool timing.
Life goes on, dresses get made, kids graduate, road trips are taken, there's a frantic rush to get the Girl's Ministry requirements in before the deadline...busy, busy, busy.
Sometimes busy is good; it doesn't allow much time for thinking.
And there's a lot of thinking that I'm trying not to do.
The swirling and shifting has begun to show signs of settling and, to all appearances, when the dust settles and everything has changed, I'm going to be right where I was...while all the rest has gone elsewhere.
Can you tell I'm writing very carefully here? I can't discuss it much.
And I really am pushing it to say that much. Just before we left for the expo, as I was trying to find my footing in the shifting, I got two very clear directives.
The first was to do a 40 day fast. Oh, not an extreme fast...just the 'no choice foods' type fast....and spend my lunch hour with my journal and Bible in the sanctuary (one of the benefits of working at the church) looking for peace and direction and, oh, a number of things all connected in some way.
The second was to not talk about The Shift until after the fast is over.
That way I won't say anything that could cause trouble.
So that's where I am at the moment. And I will say that there is a plus to shifting like this...it pushes me to push into God in ways I never have before. And I CAN most definitely talk to HIM about it.
You know, that's an amazing place to be. But it is worth noting that the fast will end the day before my birthday.
God has pretty cool timing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)