Has 'Church' Become an Idol?

 Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

This is something that has been percolating in the back of my head for a while now.

Now, by 'Church' I am not talking about the universal body of Christ.  I mean...our routine, typical Sunday Worship Experience...however that looks in whatever denomination.  The building and its accoutrements.  Stained glass windows?  Cushioned Pews?  LED Wall and smoke and lights?   Robed choir?  Orchestra?  Sister Bertha on the organ?  The jammin' rock band behind the worship team?  First, Second, and Last verse?  The latest [Bethel Worship, Hillsongs, etc] displayed phrase by phrase on the overhead screen?  You know...church.

It really doesn't matter because every one of those styles represents something that is COMFORTABLE to folks, even if it would be uncomfortable to others.  Too loud, too long, too boring, too predictable, too unorganized...whatever.  We all gravitate to what feels right to us.

I wonder...did we stop thinking about what God meant when he said we were not to forsake gathering together?  

Now, please don't take this as a criticism.  I'm not after being critical or judgmental.  I enjoy and am blessed by the worship experience at my church, as I am sure you are by the worship experience at yours.  

But the events of the last few months has really got me thinking...and wondering.

Particularly when I hear folks getting vehement about their 'right' to have church services in the manner in which they are accustomed.

Here's something to consider.

Now, this is the United States, where we are guaranteed the right to worship and the right to assemble.  But what happens when we, the body of Christ, begin to demand our constitutional rights in the face of a potentially devastating condition?  Not wanting to get into a discussion of whether Covid is a threat or  a hoax; even the folks studying it are not sure of its long-term implications.  But it has killed folks, and it is unusually contagious in that a fair percentage of folks can be ill with it and either be asymptomatic or have such mild symptoms that they don't even realize they are carrying it...and so spread it to others, who may not be so fortunate.  Which is why I used the phrase 'potentially devastating'.  Because we just don't know.  And I agree that it is hypocritical...at best...to allow folks to congregate for protests and deny permission to folks to congregate for worship.  But are 'our rights' worth making followers of Christ sound petulant and concerned only with themselves?

Paul addresses the idea of legal rights somewhat; granted, it's not the same situation (and Paul was known to play the 'rights of a Roman citizen' card at times...but always as a last resort, never as a way to show up those in authority), but I think the principle applies.  "Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated?" he writes in 1 Cor 6:7b; imploring with the Corinthian believers to consider what their actions said about Jesus in front of an unbelieving world.

Which brings me back around to my title question...has doing church in our accustomed fashion become an idol?  So that it is more important to stand on our rights as Americans and go to church than it is to actually worship the Father in spirit and in truth?  Are we giving too much importance to organized church programs?  Am I only able to worship God if I am sitting in my church?  Can my kids only learn about the faith in the kids' ministry programs?  Is the only place a person can come to faith a legit sanctuary?  If that is true, then church is a necessity.  But if it is not true...then maybe church has become a substitute for an actual relationship with God.  And if that's the case...then it's an idol, my friend.

God is in control.  Covid 19 did not take Him by surprise, and I don't think the closures of activities...including church services...has offended Him.  Maybe...he's even allowing this to shake us out of our comfort zone and reliance on church services and programs instead of personally seeking to spend time in his presence one-on-one.  Maybe it's time for the body of Christ to dig into scripture individually and pray for personal discernment on how to deal with the current season.  Maybe this is even training for days ahead, when we will need to be able to seek and hear from God continually... instead of, you know, a couple times a week at church.

I don't know.  I honestly don't know. But I do know that it DOES MATTER how we represent Jesus in this season...and that responsibility to faithfully represent him supersedes our 'rights'.

Food for thought.

...and, so, back to school...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

A long-awaited vision is coming to pass...my church is initiating a ministry school. We've had a couple of goes at it in the past, and learned from them, and now, well, this looks to be the foundation of something that really can grow.  I'm heavily involved in the data side...tracking attendance and such.

It's a two year commitment; the first year, being the first year, is at a discounted tuition rate. They had about twice as many folks sign up as they expected.

I kinda wanted to do the worship track...but I'm not a worship leader.  Songwriting is my thing. I didn't know if I could do it for songwriting. 

I talked to the Education pastor...who is also our small group pastor...about it a couple of times.  The first year is meeting on Wednesdays, the same as our small groups.  That may change in the future, but for now, that works.  But I couldn't teach a small group if I did the class.

I finally went to him and asked him what he needed me to do.  Admin stuff?  Teach a small group? He said he would love it if I could head up the check in processes for them...and then he really surprised me by saying he'd love for me to do the worship track course designed for laymen.  I've already done the Master's degree from the correspondence school, so there wasn't much point to me doing the general ed stuff...but after a chat with the pastor leading the worship school, they all agreed that I could sit in on the worship track classes.

I figured I'd just, you know, kind of audit the class.  Observe and listen and learn.  Not really participate.  Because, you know, I'm not, like, a real student.

But tonight was orientation.  We walked everyone through practicing checking in...we have a new check in system, so even folks who had done it before needed a little coaching on what to click when.  They picked up their student welcome box and went upstairs to what was the library when our building was a high school but is now our children's sanctuary for snacks and the actual orientation class.  One volunteer and I stayed behind for about another 15 minutes to check in stragglers, then we shut down the kiosks, rolled them back to the main checkin area and went upstairs.

The volunteers had taken the unclaimed welcome boxes upstairs and I happened to walk by that table as I entered the meeting.

And I spied, with my little eye, a box with my name on it.

Y'all.  I almost cried real tears, right there.  I had a box...just like everybody else.  I don't know why that hit me so hard.  I guess I had visions of myself being, well, kind of tolerated in the program.  But instead...I got a welcome box.  I truly did not expect one, since, well, I wasn't a 'real student'.

I had a paradigm shift.  Why was I there?  I was there because someone in leadership said, 'I want you to do this.'  It was beyond permission...it was enabling (That word does not always mean a bad deal).  I had just taken it as permission to sit in.  The box meant I could participate and dig in and not be afraid that someone would take it wrong.  Suddenly, I didn't think of this as something I had maneuvered myself into.  I didn't do anything, really, other than follow up with what was suggested.  So if I didn't really put myself here...then that means Someone Else arranged things.

And I would be treating that opportunity with disrespect if I did not dig and study and push myself to do things I really can't do.  Even if it means doing something badly in front of folks who do that something very well. 

I have experienced humiliation before.  It is not fatal.  And if there is freedom/empowerment/ release on the other side, it will even be worth it. 

Pondering the Creative

posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Late afternoon moon...not really pertinent to the subject, although  I could probably make some kind of roundabout connection if I had to.  Mostly  just to give Facebook a pic for the thumbnail, lol.  

With the trip to Israel...a trip designed for Creatives, at that, happening in a matter of days, I'm finding myself contemplating my creative activities.  If I am going on this fantastic trip to be creative...I should, well, be creating.

But, I'm sure the dearth of posts over here means it's probably no surprise to anyone that my creative is currently somewhere in the desert.  It's dry and not terribly productive.

So, my over-analytical self is trying to figure out what's going on.  Why am I  so dry?  What's going on here?

I've come up with a few theories...in no particular order....

1) I'm really not as creative as I'd like to think I am.  Of course, I don't want this to be the reason, but I have to face that it may be the truth.  On the scale of creative talent...I may be somewhere around a 5 or a 6, and there are plenty of 10's out there who are not getting the opportunity to put their talent to its fullest and best use; so why should I expect opportunities to fully engage my 5 or 6 level?  Maybe my creativity is meant for personal expression only...or, just enough to appreciate the real superior talent when I see it, so I can encourage the folks who really have the goods?

2) I am distracted by many things...using my creative time and energy for things that really aren't productive; hung up on pride and performance rather than the good thing.  Doing what gets affirmation rather than doing what would express those creative vibes. My job involves being very analytical and systems-minded; I get to do a LITTLE creative problem-solving, trying to think outside of the box, but mostly I'm about processes and procedures.  I've even been told I 'just don't understand the creative mindset'...which makes me think I have really subjugated my creative to the urgent and necessary. Folks don't expect me to be creative so...I'm not.

3) I'm afraid.  That number one might really be true...I'm just not that gifted.  And, as long as you don't venture out with creative things, no one will shoot down the dream.  Or maybe I'm afraid that the opposite is true...I really DO have a creative gifting, but to serve the gift I need to give up other things that I love and enjoy.  What if I needed to quit sewing in order to have time to write?  Sewing gets lots and lots of positive affirmation.  I sew for church...often heading up the sewing effort when there is something needed.  Would it be selfish to say, 'Oh, I really don't have time to do that anymore'...because I want to spend time writing something that, even if I were good at it, might not get past the computer?   Either way, it's a risk that I will get rejected, either because it's really not that good or because I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time and the people who have the yay or nay vote -- vote nay, just because it's not suitable for their plan.  And, in a nutshell...I'm afraid of rejection. Again.  It's a old sore wound. So...safer to just think about being creative, maybe?

4) There just isn't any demand on the anointing, so to speak.  Creative is like a hand pump...it's easier to be creative when the flow is already going.  If the pump loses its prime, it's hard to get it going again.  I put a demand on my own creative for a season, but then it hit a point where my demand wasn't enough...there needed to be an outlet for what I created.  And there wasn't.  So the pump quit pumping and it lost the prime.

I guess I'm really hoping the issue is number 4...that I just lost the ability to inspire myself to create for the sake of creating; even if number 1 is true, that level 5 - 6 creative needs some kind of expression.  So...hoping to re-prime the pump, so to speak, by being in the land of the Bible, with folks who definitely are in the 9 - 10 range of creative expression.   But other than that...I really have no personal agenda.  Just go and observe and absorb.

Spring Semester finished!

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Springtime sight: Dogwood blossoms against the new leaves on the Japanese Maple

 

Of the ten or so folks who started the Bible Study for Beginners class back in February, 3 were still there on the last class.  Which is about par for the course for these kinds of things.  It was a good first go at Wednesday nights studies...we were setting records for Wednesday night attendance...until we went to Daylight Savings Time and the days got warm, lol.   Plus, we had two weeks in which we didn't have classes...not back-to-back, but almost, due to other events on the church calendar.  It's funny how many folks didn't make it back after that breaky bit.

But I enjoyed the class; it's so refreshing to introduce folks to the scripture and see the lightbulbs go on as they realize that they CAN sit down with a Bible, a pen and a notebook and the right attitude and actually get a personal revelation.  I don't know how many times I've studied...even taught...the book we were using as the basis for the studies, Ephesians, and I still saw stuff in there I'd never noticed before.

God's word really IS living and active...and it WILL divide soul and spirit, if you give it the chance.

I have three Fridays left now before I head to Israel.  I'd like to do some preparation studying...maybe spend some more time in the Psalms...before I go.

I may or may not unearth/ make connections on anything blog-worthy...we'll see.

Meantime, I'm trying to figure out how light I can pack.  I have two sizes of suitcases...probably too small and way bigger than I need.  I really don't want to take the big one.
Decisions, decisions, lol...

Oh, the Poor Neglected Beer Blog....

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi



I have thought often of posting in the past...month, gulp...but I have so many irons in the fire at the moment that I just couldn't capture the thoughts at the moment.

So I thought I'd give you a little update on something that started well over a year ago...

I am going to Israel at the end of next month.

Can I just pause a moment and let that sink in?  It just doesn't...compute....

It's another DIVE trip.  I went to the DIVE School back in 2014, when I was in a rather limbo spot.  It was an amazing week and was the first time I'd been away from home for that long without really feeling like I'd been gone forever. It went by so fast and I was getting so much poured into me that it felt like it existed outside of time.  And I got encouraged that I had songs to write.

So I came home with a personal challenge...there was a DIVE songwriting conference happening  about a year later, so I told myself if I could come up with one song a month in the next year I could go to that conference.

And I did it.  I had twelve songs on paper by the end of September 2015.  Some were pretty lame...er, needed more work...but there were two or three that I really thought had potential.  I went to the conference, shared the last song I wrote, really badly as 1)it's nearly outside of my vocal ability anyway and 2) it was a cappela and I need help staying in the same key and 3) I'm not accustomed to singing solo.  And the song, which I had such belief in, was judged 'dated'; someone said it sounded like an 80's rock opera.  ONE solitary person said she could imagine Jesus Culture doing it.  So it wasn't entirely shot down, lol, and there was an acknowledgement that there were some good phrases and word pictures in it.  But overall the result was, well, I can't sing good enough to share a song and I don't play an instrument and so, I need help.

I was encouraged to pick a few of the songs...maybe even just one...and share them with some folks on our ministry team at church.  Maybe even purchase some time from one of them in order to get a good critique on the song and some solid help in developing it.

But I'm not after writing songs for the Christian music industry; I wanted to write songs for our house.  What would be the point of investing money in a song that I'm not going to peddle elsewhere?  But I did share some of the songs with folks on our ministry team.

Crickets, y'all.  Crickets.

The songwriting, lacking any kind of demand on it, has kind of faded, although I have written one or two more and have bits and pieces of potential songs in my notebook.

But I was writing this thing on the blog about Transitions...and found myself wandering off into fictionalized versions of the stories.  I edited that out, well edited MOST of it out, of the posts and put it into files on the computer.

Then I started writing a piece about Sarah and Hagar.  I saw it as a two-woman play, with them each relating bits of their story in turn, but the rough story arc took on its own life and I'm not sure I have a play now.

And that's what I was working on in fall of 2017, when Rita announced she would take a tour group to Israel in May 2018.  I watched the promo video and thought, oh, in my dreams... and promptly forgot about it.  About 6 weeks later, in the choir room between services, one of the young ladies who had also been to Dive caught me. 'Are you going with Rita?' she asked.

Well, our head intercessor's first name is also Rita, so my immediate thought was that she was taking a group somewhere...maybe IHOP or something...but I hadn't heard about it.  Seeing my puzzled expression, my young friend added, 'To Israel?'

Oh, yeah.  That.  Ha, ha, I wish.

But it made me think and I came home and watched the promo video again.  And this time, when I watched it, Rita's vision of doing creative things rather than just jumping on the bus to go to the next spot hit me.  What if...I could stand where Abram stood looking over the Jordan Valley when he saw it full of sulpherous  smoke, wondering if Lot made it out alive?  Something jumped inside of me and I thought...this is my trip. And I signed up.

Well, it got postponed from last year to this year...but it's paid off, I have all my plane tickets and...it's going to happen.  The night before I purchased my tickets to get from the Rocket City to our departure point at JFK, I went through my DIVE cards again...the results of the prophetic exercise all DIVE classes do on Sunday.  I had forgotten the details of them, but there was one that had made us all laugh when I got it.

I quipped, 'Oh, maybe that's a date night w/ my hubby at PF Chang's,'  but the young lady that wrote that card caught me later and said, 'No.  I saw feet on the tarmac.  It's a trip.'

So after I booked the tickets I looked to see which continent Israel is considered to be in; the Middle East is 'Intracontinental' and is in Europe, Asia and Africa.  But Israel is considered to be in ...you guessed it...Asia.

So.  I'm going with no agenda, really, except to re-ignight the creative, which has fallen kind of asleep. And this is my prayer, which are the lyrics from the song I sang so badly at the songwriter's conference:

Can these dry bones live?  Can these dry bones live?
It's such a dismal sight -- bones all bleached and white
But the question comes to light, can they live?
Lord you know, Lord you know, Lord you know.

We prophesy to the dry bones, we prophesy to the dry bones
We prophesy, we prophesy, 
'Live, in Jesus' name! Live, in Jesus' name!  Live in Jesus' name!'
 Oh, oh, oh -- oh, oh, oh- oh, oh, oh, oh.

Can these dead dreams breathe?  Can these dead dreams breathe?
The spark has long grown cold, they're all stale and old
We have not been told, can they breathe?
Lord you know, Lord you know, Lord you know.

We prophesy to the dead dreams, We prophesy to the dead dreams
We prophesy, we prophesy, 
'Breathe, in Jesus' name!  Breathe, in Jesus' name!  Breathe, in Jesus' name!'
 Oh, oh, oh -- oh, oh, oh- oh, oh, oh, oh.

Can this mute hope sing?  Can this mute hope sing?
Its voice has long been gone, shutters closed and drawn
Forgotten every song, can it sing? 
Lord you know, Lord you know, Lord you know.

We prophesy to the mute hope, we prophesy to the mute hope
We prophesy, we prophesy,
'Sing, in Jesus' name!  Sing, in Jesus' name!  Sing, in Jesus' name!'
Oh, oh, oh -- oh, oh, oh- oh, oh, oh, oh.

We will live, we will breathe, we will hope in You
With Your life, Your breath, Your song!   (repeat ad lib)

Oh, oh, oh -- oh, oh, oh- oh, oh, oh, oh. 

The Least Favorite Task

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Not gonna lie...my least favorite, most dreaded task that must be performed on an annual basis is boxing up Christmas.

Denuding the tree, wrapping lights, boxing up the ornaments, squishing the tree back into the storage bins, sweeping up shed needles (even with an almost 30 year old fake tree...there are still shed needles...), cocooning the porcelain nativity...all the necessary stuff to transform the house back to its ordinary self.

Some years, I don't even want to get it out, set it up, hang it, drape it...because I don't want to have to take it all down in just a few weeks. Which always go by at the speed of light, usually without anyone outside of the family even seeing the festoonery.

But something occurred to me about the un-decorating task that I haven't really thought of before.

It's the UNdecorating, the reboxing and re-storing of all the Christmas trimmings that makes them special.  If they were up all year, why, we would soon get to a place where we didn't even see them anymore.  Getting them out is always a treat, preparing for the holiday.  It's something of a celebration of Christmases past to pull out the ornaments and decorations that we've accumulated over the years, or those that we've had since our first Christmas together...even some that are older, like my half-dozen faded and cracking small Shiney Brites that once hung on my grandma's tree.

But that celebration isn't what MAKES them special.  It's the fact that we do put them away when the holiday is over..the careful wrapping, boxing, packing and storing that keeps it all nice for the next season.  That is the honor that makes all of it set apart for something special.

It's...like the rest in a line of music, or the white space on a painting.  The contrast space that keeps everything from just running together into a dingy hodge podge. 

And, you know, that is the definition of Holy.  Set apart. Special.  Not ordinary.

Kind of an interesting line of thought that the thing I like doing the least is the very thing that imparts holiness to the decor of the season.

What if those tasks I dislike in general are also about imparting holiness?  Elevating something above the ordinary?

What if I set about them as if they were acts that impart honor instead of just drudgery that needs to be done?

What if I changed  my whole paradigm?

Could I really do it?  I mean, am I capable of that much shifting?

I don't know.  But maybe I should give it a try.

I'm still here....

posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I did get to go to the retreat a couple of weekends ago; it was a beautiful day after a foggy drive over to Lake Guntersville and a marvelous time with ladies that, by and large, I'd never met before.

One other BSF buddy was there, and, of course, Suzanne.

What a treat to see them both and hear Suzanne teach again.

And, you know, she pointed out something that I had not considered when I was studying Joshua.

From a military standpoint, the reconnaissance that the spies did in chapter 2 was unnecessary.   God had the entire plan laid out for them; they didn't need to go in and look around.

But Rahab needed them to come in so she could escape the doom of the city.

I just hadn't realized that.  The whole episode was about Rahab...saving the one in the city who recognized and honored the God of the Israelites.  Oh, I'd seen that it was an incredible sequence of events that connected her to the spies, but I hadn't considered the true value of their adventure from a military standpoint.  They learned nothing that they needed to know.  But they met Rahab and cut a deal with her and as a result she and her whole family survived the fall of the city.

What lengths will God go to in order to deliver one who honors Him, even in the midst of a culture that wants nothing to do with Him?

There were stones with words etched in at each table for us to take as a remembrance.  I ended up with the stone that said 'Faith'.

The phrase that jumped out at me from the weekend...based on Rahab and her bold bid for survival... was 'Take the risk.'  I'm not sure how all of that is going to play into the expression of all that is in my heart, but I am encouraged that God is capable of sending someone on a boondoggle journey to give me the opportunity to step out into the unknown if that's what it takes.

Revisting Joshua

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

So, my friend Suzanne, who was my BSF Teaching Leader ages and ages ago, posted an invitation to a day retreat at which she was teaching.

It's hosted by a local church, at a camp on Lake Guntersville. I've actually been there once before..it was where our Girls Ministry Leaders had a retreat the weekend after The Princess's wedding...back in 2011.

I wrote a blog post about my experience that weekend.

And...here's the kicker: Suzanne's going to be teaching from the book of Joshua.

I saw that and thought, oh, I should go.  I mean, Joshua.  Suzanne.  Lovely venue.

But, other than Suzanne, whom I haven't really seen in years, I probably won't know a soul.

So I waffled.  My Sweet Babboo has a Royal Ranger event that day, so he's not going to be around.

Joshua.  God has had me in Joshua for a reason.  I don't think it's a coincidence.

And how many times have I written about my need to intentionally go outside of my comfort zone?  Out of what's familiar?

So....I signed up.

Kinda planning to sit in the back and just...listen.  To see what it is that I need to make sure to get.

Because the nice thing about going to something like this...I am anonymous.  I have no responsibilities.  

Just to listen and learn.

In Which Tigger Gets [Her] Bounce Back

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

The mug was a Christmas gift from one of my kids...The Princess, I believe...years ago.

'Tigger' was my nickname back in high school.  Won't go into how that came about, but it was appropriate.  Tigger is a Sanguine, bouncing enthusiastically through life and occasionally bumping into others without intention or malice.  Tigger didn't care a fig for anyone's opinion...in fact, it didn't even seem to occur to him that others would assign different motives to his actions than he meant.  He is genuinely astonished when the other inhabitants of the Hundred Acre Wood (namely Rabbit, the Choleric, of course) insist that he has to give up his bouncing.  He walks away, shoulders slumped, tail dragging, all joy gone...but not bouncing, as that is No Longer Allowed.  It Offended the others.
Of course, all is well in the end; Roo can't stand to see Tigger so despondent and intercedes for him with the others, so that finally even Rabbit relents and agrees that Tigger can bounce.  Rabbit even figures out what his big feet are for and begins to bounce a bit himself.

I have, in my past, an extended season of inadvertently bouncing into others.  Dumbfounded, at times, that what I said/did would be interpreted as it was. I was judged and found wanting. People were hurt.  It was my fault.

Slowly...or not so slowly...I began to be cautious of what I said.  Worry about how my words or actions might be interpreted.  It was self-imposed, but the bounce, over time, went away.  I quit offering so much of myself, because, well, nobody wanted it and it didn't go over well and...why bother?  Save myself and others the pain and just walk from place to place. Quietly.

And, you know, after a while that began to feel normal.  Oh, every now and then something in me would rise up and want to go leaping off somewhere, but I'd give myself a stern talking-to about how I can't do that, people wouldn't understand, I'd get into or cause trouble...and, believe me, if I didn't get myself talked to in time, there are plenty of folks around me who don't miss a chance to point out that I have overstepped my boundaries; some of whom I care for very much, so their critique goes deep. Anyway, I'd have a good cry someplace when no one was looking and shake it off and settle back down.

But if you asked me, really asked, I might tell you that I didn't feel quite myself.  I felt...confined.  Restrained...and strained.  I observed folks who had no trouble bouncing in their giftings; I tried to figure out what the fundamental flaw in my character or personality was that meant I was not one of those people.

I finally decided I just wasn't good enough.  Or perceptive enough.  Or compassionate enough.   Or something.  Or maybe I was too loud.  Too pushy.  Too impulsive.  Or something.

The flaw was in me.  Whatever it was, it was in me.

The world agreed.

And even though I knew it was a lie, I didn't want to be an offense to those around me. I might hurt them.  Or mess something up.  Better to just keep the status quo.

But, you know, God uses all kinds of things to bring truth into a life;  even a truth that could be twisted around to mean something altogether different.

A couple of weeks ago, My Sweet Babboo and I finally saw 'The Greatest Showman'.

And when I came home, I looked around and found this video:



In the context of the movie, the song is powerful, but somehow the workshop version spoke to me on a whole 'nuther level.

Won't let them break me down to dust; I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious!

I am brave, I am bruised I am who I'm meant to be....this is me.

I'm not afraid to be seen, I make no apologies...this is me.

I have watched that video over and over...Keala overcomes HER fear to sing it.  And she is glorious.

Why have I let 'the world' , 'the others'  even 'some whom I care about very much'  convince me that I am flawed beyond use?  That I must limit my creativity and expression to suit somebody else's expectations?  That I have no real place? Or that my place is filling gaps and doing things that need doing but no one else wants to do?

Where did the creativity and expression that I have COME FROM, for goodness' sake?

I am back to John 5:44 - How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?

How can I believe if I let the fear of criticism or misunderstanding of others keep me from doing that which God has put in me to do?

This has been a long time coming, and I have some long-standing self-editing habits that are going to have to be rooted out and overturned and I really don't even know how to do it anymore...but it's time to start bouncing again.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

#Celebrate2300

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi


I looked and looked through online albums and actual books of pictures, trying to decide what the FIRST photo I took at our current (for another 9 days) church location.

As near as I can tell, the first photos I took were for the sewing blog in 2004, documenting the costuming for our inaugural production of  'The Gospel According to Scrooge':

We actually began attending church at The Rock Family Worship Center in spring of 2001.  The building they were meeting in then was a former Sheraton Inn...a very nice hotel in the early 80's, but it had been sold and split up and re-sold and...the previous occupant was Joe's House of Entertainment.  But the church was just renting the space, and in spring of 2003 the owner sold the building.

Through a series of amazing events, we ended up purchasing a building at 2300 Memorial Parkway that had housed a genetics company...but prior to that, it had been as shopping center that featured a Service Merchandise.

We actually have stuff in our house that was purchased from that Service Merchandise back in the 80's.

We moved into the 2300 Memorial Parkway in July of 2003, literally right before we had to be out of the previous location, squeezing ourselves into a small auditorium they had, with a stage that was probably no more than 8 feet deep.

Why did a genetics company have an auditorium?  Who knows?  We had three services a weekend there to get everyone in while they gutted a series of labs/clean rooms and converted them into the current sanctuary.

We got the Certificate of Occupation from the Fire Marshall for the sanctuary the day before our annual Women's conference.  The fumes from the carpet glue, which had been laid that week, were so strong that one of our speakers had a serious respiratory reaction and almost ended up in the hospital.   She did end up spending one of the sessions doing breathing treatments in her hotel room.
There's an amazing testimony from that...we stopped the service and had special prayer for her, and literally at that time something shifted and she found herself able to breathe.

The sanctuary seemed huge.  It seated about 1000 folks, had three cameras running and amazing lighting.  I remember walking in and having to remind myself that this was my church...not a special conference event somewhere.

And the church grew. 

We outgrew that huge space at least 3 times.  We converted large spaces into smaller offices, moved the main doors, added windows, refurbished and updated, cramming classrooms and offices wherever and however we could.

We launched satellite campuses to hold overflow.  We added services back...once more, we're doing three services a weekend to accommodate everyone.

So many memories.  So many adventures.  So many encounters. We did The Gospel According to Scrooge twice, we did several Bible-based costumed Easter productions.

We're being encouraged to post photos and memories, with the hashtag Celebrate 2300 to link them all together.

I commented that I could go through the photos in my Facebook Albums and hashtag Celebrate 2300 to about 2/3 of the pictures.  But I don't have pictures that really document the history of our sojourn there.

We've been in that building nearly 15 years.  I can't begin to list the significant moments, the wonderful people, the blessings.  I've been on staff since 2009; I can tell you that it ain't a perfect church.  But it is a church that loves God and loves people and is making a difference in our city.

We have one more Sunday set of services there...and we'll be boxing up stuff the rest of that Sunday.  The last moving trucks will pull up on 1/29 and 1/30 to haul the remaining goods to the 'new' building...a retired high school.  2300 has already been sold to another church...who has already started some renovations in the areas that we moved out of in December.

We'll stilll be holding three services a weekend in the theater to accommodate the folks while the gymnasium is converted into a sanctuary that will seat somewhere around 1,600.  It should be done late in the spring.

I need to take more pictures.  Someday we may want to review what it looked like back in 2018 when we moved in to the work in progress...

Toe in the classroom water again...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

It's been 3 years since I last taught a class.

In that time, I've completed level one and level two of the Elijah House School of Prayer Ministry, attended the DIVE worship school and a DIVE songwriter's conference and completed an online Master's degree.

None of which I could've done had I been teaching three classes of teen girls every week.

But I get the 'contact us' forms that folks fill out with questions, comments and requests, and we recently got the latest in a series of requests for an evening beginning Bible study; this one requested a ladies' study.

I did a little checking; the women's ministry suggested I talk to our Life Group (small group ministry) pastor.

I asked him to keep me in mind when we get to the new building...whenever that happens in the next year...as I know we're going to be launching a good number of study/education type classes once we have the space (and we WILL have space...we're renovating a recently retired high school.  We will have LOTS of classroom space).  I figured it'd be at least six months to a year before that came to pass; lots of time to construct a syllabus and build a curriculum.

But he got excited that I was interested in doing that and...gulp...the 6 - session class begins next Thursday night at church.  I've got, I think, 7 ladies (it was offered co-ed, but so far only ladies have signed up), which is good for the 'let's build the curriculum' class.

It's offered as a 'Bible Study for Beginners' and I'm going to teach three simple strategies/ methods for personal Bible study.  My goal is to give them a strategy and tools to be able to read and study the Bible for themselves...and get them inspired/excited about doing so.

That's basically what I did at various points of teaching my teen classes over the years; it shouldn't be such a stretch to share that info with adults.

So, ya wanna tell me why I have butterflies about it?  :-)

The first step on a new road...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi.

I mentioned in Saturday's post-that-should-have-been-Friday's that we are starting a school of ministry at church.  It's a unique program...affiliated with West Coast Bible College and Seminary, an online campus.  Our program will be centered around quarterly weekend seminars, followed up by online coursework.

I thought it looked good, so I signed up and went through the whole application process.

And the folks at West Coast recommended that I pursue a Master's degree instead.

After some discussion with a couple of pastors and my hubby, and some thoughtful and prayerful consideration, I decided to go ahead and go that route and was able to transfer my seminar registration payment to The Actor, who was also interested in working on his education.   I paid for the master's program coursework last week, downloaded the syllabus for the first class and ordered the book from Amazon.

So, instead of being a student at the first weekend seminar, I helped with the admin tasks.  Just for the record, I could hear some of the lectures...they sounded really good.  And the comments I heard from folks who were in the seminars were all quite positive.  That makes me hopeful for the classes I'll be taking.

The textbook for my first class....English Composition.. arrived today.  I printed out the study notes, put together my notebook, and read the first two chapters as instructed for the first assignment.

I figured the writing class would be a good place to start, since most of the grade is based on written work.

The first chapter is about using the least words, the second about using the best words.   I was a bit chagrined that I only did so-so on the first editing exercise, despite the fact that I'm well aware that I tend to be, um, wordy.  I shouldn't have been surprised that I didn't cut enough. I need to sharpen the editing axe.

You'll  have to pay attention to the blog posts over the next few weeks and see if I am implementing what I learn. ;-)

Now, I am fully aware that this is a correspondence school, not a fully accredited (although they are working towards accreditation) institution.  But it is enough for now.

A small step...we'll see where this road goes...

'With Brave Wings, She Flies'

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

The first night of the women's conference, I was given a little appreciation gift. It was a bracelet, with a charm that reads, 'With Brave Wings, She Flies'.

That was a God-kiss on several levels...but here's one that made a difference to me today:

Last summer, when I was going to the sanctuary every day and writing in my journal, just trying to keep myself together for the girls and wondering what on earth I would do when that assignment was over, I heard something in my spirit and wrote it down:

You will be out of your comfort zone, but you will be flying in Mine.

When I left the DIVE school last fall, I knew there was a songwriter's conference coming this fall.  I made myself a deal:  If I could write one song a month in 2015, I would go to the conference.

Not finished out songs, mind you.  Just completed thoughts.  Seeds of songs, more like.

I wasn't sure I could do it.

But I have a notebook with a song for each month of the year in it.  One or two actually have some potential, I think.

But...it's a chunk of money.   The Rocket City has the dubious distinction of being the MOST EXPENSIVE airport to fly in and out of in the country.  And we're about to embark on Part Two of the porch upgrade...the one that we started when we found rotting structures in it back in 2011, and has been sitting half finished waiting on funding since it was stabilized in 2012.

I waffled when I was on the websites to register and then to book my flights.  I didn't have frequent flyer miles available this time.

I got cold feet.

But I had met my requirement.  My hubby gave his blessing.  Why was I hesitant?

It's outside of my comfort zone.

I don't think it's a coincidence that I just got the message, 'With brave wings, she flies.'

I gulped and booked the conference and the flights.

Here we go.

I am Not Witty Enough to Name this Post

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I almost feel in over my head.

I have been putting out one fire after another since Christmas in my data base world at work; part of that included handling registration for our leadership conference a week and a half ago.

It was paradigm-shifting and I'm still processing THAT.

(The Saturday sessions have been uploaded to vimeo...session 1 is HERE, session 2 is HERE.  I confess I linked that mostly for my mother, but I have to say that, in all the Promise Keeper messages I've heard Wellington Boone speak, the messages he has brought to our church in the past, the messages I've heard him speak at his women's conference...nothing matches the burden he was speaking this weekend.  It was...it was...well, you just have to watch the video.)

But.

I'm also doing the Elijah House School of Prayer Ministry.   Two of six Saturday sessions are down; it involves reading, listening to CD's , doing homework...attending classes...  I've done similar classes in the past, albeit not at such an intensity.  Not sure how I feel about this one; I'm finding myself bristling over some of the terminology they use.  But I'm trying hard to  let that go by and get what is behind the word choice.

Plus I'm doing a class through work aimed at making me a better admin...work better with folks,  be more confident in the role I have, etc.   That's a stretch, too.

 I have been managing to sew a little...while I listed to the Elijah House CD's, lol...and I have given myself a post-DIVE assignment to write one song a month this year.

So... bottom line...I've got nothing leftover for blogging deep insightful posts at the moment.

Hang with me, though.  It'll all change with the spring. ;-)

Pray Differently

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Several years ago, I attended a Passover demonstration that was done by worship artist Paul Wilbur, who is a Messianic Jew.  It was incredible and paradigm-shifting; I had no idea what the symbolism of the traditional passover meal included.

And I was very impressed by the traditional prayers he recited at various times, which began 'Blessed art Thou, O God of the universe...'  I can't really tell you why...maybe because it was so different from the style I was accustomed to, which usually involved me asking God for blessing instead of pronouncing Him to be blessed.  It touched something deep.

Fast forward.  Late November of last year, a post from Lisa Bevere turned up in my Facebook news feed, challenging folks to 'pray differently today.'

I wrote a lengthy journal post trying to decide what that meant.  Should I pray with more expectation?  Dare to pray for things I don't normally have the nerve to pray for?  Or...maybe things I don't have the faith to pray for?  Get a new perspective?

What did it mean...'pray differently'? 

Two weeks later, another journal entry...and the prayer that came from my pen was this:

Blessed are You, Oh God, who hears our prayers and petitions and turns the hearts of kings to fulfill Your purpose.
Blessed are You, O holy God, for You delight in your children and are not unmoved by their distress.
Blessed are You, Oh God, for You are a strong tower and a safe haven in times of trouble.
Blessed are You, Lord, for you do not leave your people in confusion but always provide direction, whether by cloud or by fire or by the voice which says, 'This is the way, walk in it.'

That, my friend, is praying differently.  I've had several days since in which my prayers have taken that form.

Focusing on God, reminding myself of His Character and His promises.

It feels...powerful.  It is strengthening.  It is challenging.

If you were to 'pray differently'....how would that work for  you?

Not Quite Believing It

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

So.  This is the week.  Friday morning I get on a plane (I haven't been on a plane since 1999...) and head to Dallas for a week of creative worship workshopping.

And I'm taking a huge deep breath...it doesn't seem quite real to me.  Yes, I've wanted to do it for several years.  But...it really is a huge step out of the comfort zone.

We will present an original song to a board.  We will have guitar classes (I have a guitar that I pull out and play with it...as opposed to actually playing it...every once in a very great while.  I think I remember the C, G, D, F and A minor chords...). I'm not going to be at the top of either of those efforts.

But it's good.  It's good to be challenged, to be put in a position of taking risks.  Especially when, really, I'm not looking for validation as a worship leader or song writer or musician.

I'm just looking for the kick in the backside that will knock the melancholies out.  A fresh vision to take the place of the one that has gone away.  Courage to not take that personally.

Yeah, I'm still fighting that.  It's crazy, but, well, it's the truth.

So I'm pushing past the comfort zone and headed out into something way different for a week.

I'm hoping I can articulate it when I get back. :-)

Punching Through

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi.  I originally posted this as a Facebook note, but decided to put it here, too...

2nd service today, we were singing the bridge 'Show us, show us your glory, Show us, show us your power, show us, show us your glory, Lord...'  and somewhere around the third repeat I heard in my spirit:

Do you really know what you're asking for here?

Suddenly, I experienced one of those moments when I realized that what I thought I was doing wasn't what I was doing at all. Of course, I was earnest in my desire to see God's power and glory, but how blithely I was expressing it...as if a revealing of God's glory and power would be something to see; as if the measure of God's glory and power that I have experienced in my life were the total of what He has and I'm just asking for a second helping.

Do you really know what you're asking?

There was a dangerous edge to that, a 'count the cost' connotation.

Because when we really see God's glory and power, nothing about our lives will be remotely the same.

'Show us your glory/show us your power' is sort of the same as saying 'take my life totally apart and turn it inside out and throw away anything that makes me feel safe and remind me just how NOT IN CONTROL OF ANYTHING I really am.'

And that's putting it mildly.

I remembered an article I'd recently read about a storm chaser, a article that had a bit of the science of severe weather in it.  "Warm, moist air rises until it hits warm, dry air --the cap.  If the moist air becomes warmer than the cap, it can punch through it explosively." 

In a flash, I saw that my requests to see God's glory and power were hitting a cap.  "It's unbelief, isn't it?"  I prayed. "Help my unbelief!"

But the response I got back knocked me back.

No, it's not unbelief.  The cap is your comfort zone.  When your desire for God's manifest presence becomes greater than your desire to keep life safe, simple and comfortable...that's when the punch through will come.

As I related this to My Sweet Babboo on the drive home from church, he reminded me of a story that teacher Steve Thompson related about asking to see God's glory...and actually getting the tiniest glimpse of something supernatural.  As Steve told the story, he came to himself about two hours later, driving down the road repeating, 'God, don't kill me!  God, don't kill me!'

Do I really want to see God's glory and power, knowing it will take me to places I can't imagine and cost more than I can calculate in terms of anything the world values?  Recognizing that the folks who DID see God's glory and power in biblical days were misunderstood, judged, outcast, abused and even killed?  That to whom much is given, much is required...and the glory and power of God comes with profound responsibility to handle the revelation correctly?  That the concept of 'comfortable' will become foreign?

Do I really know what I'm asking?

But, having seen the choice, how could I choose anything other than to tell my screaming selfish nature to talk to the hand, put my head down and say, 'No, Lord, I don't know.  But I want it just the same.  Teach me how to punch through to the other side of comfortable and walk where I don't care if I'm comfortable or not.'

Facing Fear

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I intended to write a little essay today about real-life home decorating/design and how the world sets us up to be unsatisfied with our environment, but before I could even begin to put it together I found that Beth Moore had blogged an assignment for her readers.

This is real Bible-study homework and my plans to gripe about false standards flew out the window and I decided to dig in and see what 'Mama Beth'  had laid out for us.  We're actually supposed to answer in the comments section, so I will likely edit today's post to respond properly instead of linking back, but I thought I'd share the process here...and as I read through I realize I may be biting off way more than I'm comfortable chewing anywhere other than in my journal...but, well, it's about being transparent and getting out of the comfort zone, right?

Deep breath and a little prayer...God, use this to break and heal what needs breaking and healing in me...

1. Please go to a website like Bible Gateway or to your Bible software if you have it and look up Isaiah 30:15-18. Please read it thoroughly in 3 different translations. In your response to this first exercise, please tell me what 3 translations you read then copy and paste the one that spoke the most blatantly to you. (In your answer you will have the abbreviations to three translations and then the full text in one of them. Make sense?)

I cheated a bit; having a plethora of translations available on my shelf rather than go online.   I decided to look up the passage in my ESV, and also my Parallel Bible, where I paid particular attention to the NIV and the Amplified.  I have to say, the one that spoke most deeply to me was, of course, the Amplified:

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel,  In returning to Me and resting in Me you shall be saved; in quietness and in (trusting) confidence shall be your strength.  

And you would not, But you said, No!  We will speed our own course on horses!  Therefore you shall speed [in flight from your enemies].  You said, We will ride upon swift steeds [doing our own way]!  Therefore shall they who pursue you be swift, so swift that One thousand of you will flee at the threat of one of them; at the threat of five you will flee till you are left like a beacon or a flagpole on the top of a mountain, and like a signal on a hill.

And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits  -- expectant, looking and longing -- to be gracious to you, and therefore He lifts Himself up that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you; for the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed -- happy, fortunate [to be envied] are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him  [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy and His matchless, unbroken companionship].

2. Look up the word “threat” in any good English dictionary and write the full definition. After you write the definition, please share how it hits you and how you feel most threatened in this season, if at all. Keep in mind that nothing trips the switch on our insecurity like feeling threatened. Be careful as always in this community not to over-share by telling things about other people who wouldn’t necessarily appreciate it.

Threat: 1) An expression of an intention to inflict pain, injury, evil, or punishment on a person or thing.  2) An indication of impending danger or harm  3) A person, thing, or idea regarded as a possible danger; a menace (American Heritage, 1971)

I have a recurring dream, that I have mentioned before in a random questions response, in which I find myself paralyzed by a fear of heights.It's a crazy thing, but I have gradually come to see this as an expression of the fear of aging...not a fear of death, mind you, but a fear of the loss and change that comes with the passage of time.  That fear has gripped me in odd moments over the past year and a half or so;  sometimes there has been an event that triggered it; sometimes it was just the possibility of such an event. Sometimes it just seemed to come from nowhere.  There are some scenarios that I am just not prepared for in a practical sense, let alone emotional. I know that life is an uncertain thing.  I also know that, unless Jesus comes to get us, the loss and change, in some fashion, is inevitable; I suppose now that I'm past 50, the reality of that is starting to soak in. It's the primary reason I selected Is. 41:13 for my first SSMT verse.


3. What does “fleeing” tend to look like in your life? In other words, how are you most prone to flee? And, are you in fleeing mode right now?

This is a hard question...I suppose 'fleeing' is actually getting so busy with stuff that I just can't pay attention to the thing that is intimidating me. Actually, a friend pointed this out to me a number of years ago...that I use 'busy' as 'avoidance'... when I was even less obligated than I am now.  Judging by the amount of 'stuff' I have to which I seem to be obligated, I must really be in serious fleeing mode.  Not good.  Question for myself:  How can I reduce my commitments so that I can take care of ...whatever it is that I am actively avoiding?

4. Compare or contrast the Isaiah text (30:15-18)  to 1 Peter 5:8-9.

I suppose the most meaningful comparison would be to match translations, so here's 1 Peter 5: 8 - 9 in the Amplified:

Be well-balanced -- temperate, sober-minded; be vigilant and cautious at all times, for that enemy of yours, the devil, roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger], seeking someone to seize upon and devour.  Withstand him; be firm in faith [against his onset], -- rooted, established, strong, immovable and determined -- knowing that the same (identical) sufferings are appointed to your brotherhood (the whole body of Christians) throughout the world.

Whoa.  The text that comes to mind to me for 1 Peter 5:8 is the NIV, which starts off  'Be self-controlled'.  But how pertinent to me at the moment is the Amplified's  phrasing, 'Be well-balanced'?

If I'm trusting God completely with EVERYTHING, then I am not leaving  my spiritual center of gravity; I am balanced.  Trying to take care of it myself would mean leaving the place of trust -- the place of balance -- whether it's because I'm running away from something or trying to fix something that is out of my control.

I don't need to react to the perceived threat of the enemy's roaring; I need to pay attention so that I know God's direction through the struggles that are common to all of us.

5. One of my translations this morning for this text was The Message. Here it is on the card I wrote out.

Do you perchance need to hear the words “settle down!” as much as I do? If so, why?

Oh yeah.  And I perceive that this is going to be a continual settling down...over and over again, focusing on Him and not on what is trying to make me flee.

6. Finish your assignment with any particular personal insight you gained from it and, most of all, what you discern God is saying to you through it.

I saw that most of the things that cause me to want to flee -- whether it means picking up and running away or just getting so busy that I don't deal with what needs to be dealt with -- are threats.  Not actual impending harm...just threats.  I'm reminded of a 'Rocky and Bullwinkle' series in which the villain turned out to be a really teeny, insignificant individual who intimidated folks by the size of his shadow.

It is the shadow that is threatening me.  Not an actual reality...just a shadow.  

Yes, though I walk through the  [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil; for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. -- Ps 23: 4, AMP

If you stop fleeing from something...that means you turn around and face it.

But I am not facing it alone.

Step up the Game

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Another amazing weekend of going after God at our annual women's conference has come and gone;  so much to process. 

But I came away with a clear message for myself...it is time to step up the game, to put a demand on the anointing.  To dare to dare.

While I'm not exactly sure what that is going to mean in the long run, I do know that it is time I turned a corner and quit just declaring that I'm just 'hanging on' to the blogging process and begin to pursue it like it is part of my call.

Because it is.

Back to the verse that started the whole Friday Faithful Faves series, Genesis 12:1...

The LORD had said to Abram,"Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." 

It's time for me to get out of my comfort zone and head out into whatever it is HE will show me.

I'm not comfortable with that...

2011 is almost half way through. Can you believe it?

It has been an astonishing year...and that's just the weather.

The changes I felt coming back when the year started still have not fully manifested; I still am not sure what, exactly is going to change. But I told a friend at church last night that I refuse to hit December 31 and still be the same as I was on Jan. 1.

I don't yet know where I'm going, but I'll tell you what God's been doing.

He's been pointing out individuals to me who have had great doors opened to them, and he has shown me that those folks sacrificed much in order to devote themselves to the pursuit of God and the call of their heart's passion.

I'm beginning to wonder just how willing I really am to make similar sacrifices.

I'm finding out that I am quite the creature of comfort. I like the familiar, well-worn patterns...even if they're not terribly productive or influential. They are comfortable.

But it's becoming more and more apparent that, where ever I'm going, I'm going to have to give up comfortable.

And do you know what? My 'self' is Not Liking This One Bit.

Which is beginning to make me wonder if the one of the greatest enemies we have to overcome is Comfort. Physical comfort, emotional comfort, spiritual comfort...none of it is truly compatible w/taking up the cross and dying daily.

If I'm honest, the more I'm looking at this, the more I'm convinced that Comfort has very nearly been an idol in my life. And it's time to tear down that altar and make uncomfortable choices. How could I choose to stay where I'm comfortable and not draw closer to Him? Never *see* if I could walk in His presence as those who He has pointed out to me do?

Oh, no, I'm not comfortable with that at all.