...and, so, back to school...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

A long-awaited vision is coming to pass...my church is initiating a ministry school. We've had a couple of goes at it in the past, and learned from them, and now, well, this looks to be the foundation of something that really can grow.  I'm heavily involved in the data side...tracking attendance and such.

It's a two year commitment; the first year, being the first year, is at a discounted tuition rate. They had about twice as many folks sign up as they expected.

I kinda wanted to do the worship track...but I'm not a worship leader.  Songwriting is my thing. I didn't know if I could do it for songwriting. 

I talked to the Education pastor...who is also our small group pastor...about it a couple of times.  The first year is meeting on Wednesdays, the same as our small groups.  That may change in the future, but for now, that works.  But I couldn't teach a small group if I did the class.

I finally went to him and asked him what he needed me to do.  Admin stuff?  Teach a small group? He said he would love it if I could head up the check in processes for them...and then he really surprised me by saying he'd love for me to do the worship track course designed for laymen.  I've already done the Master's degree from the correspondence school, so there wasn't much point to me doing the general ed stuff...but after a chat with the pastor leading the worship school, they all agreed that I could sit in on the worship track classes.

I figured I'd just, you know, kind of audit the class.  Observe and listen and learn.  Not really participate.  Because, you know, I'm not, like, a real student.

But tonight was orientation.  We walked everyone through practicing checking in...we have a new check in system, so even folks who had done it before needed a little coaching on what to click when.  They picked up their student welcome box and went upstairs to what was the library when our building was a high school but is now our children's sanctuary for snacks and the actual orientation class.  One volunteer and I stayed behind for about another 15 minutes to check in stragglers, then we shut down the kiosks, rolled them back to the main checkin area and went upstairs.

The volunteers had taken the unclaimed welcome boxes upstairs and I happened to walk by that table as I entered the meeting.

And I spied, with my little eye, a box with my name on it.

Y'all.  I almost cried real tears, right there.  I had a box...just like everybody else.  I don't know why that hit me so hard.  I guess I had visions of myself being, well, kind of tolerated in the program.  But instead...I got a welcome box.  I truly did not expect one, since, well, I wasn't a 'real student'.

I had a paradigm shift.  Why was I there?  I was there because someone in leadership said, 'I want you to do this.'  It was beyond permission...it was enabling (That word does not always mean a bad deal).  I had just taken it as permission to sit in.  The box meant I could participate and dig in and not be afraid that someone would take it wrong.  Suddenly, I didn't think of this as something I had maneuvered myself into.  I didn't do anything, really, other than follow up with what was suggested.  So if I didn't really put myself here...then that means Someone Else arranged things.

And I would be treating that opportunity with disrespect if I did not dig and study and push myself to do things I really can't do.  Even if it means doing something badly in front of folks who do that something very well. 

I have experienced humiliation before.  It is not fatal.  And if there is freedom/empowerment/ release on the other side, it will even be worth it.