Skipped the Week

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Well, I did not get the next installment in the Desert Study yesterday because...it was my wedding anniversary (39 years, thanks for asking).

My office is closed on Fridays; My Sweet Babboo took the day off and we spent the better part of the day wandering about the local Botanical Gardens.  We have annual passes, but can't seem to make use of it other than for the discounts on special events, like the Christmas Lights display.  So, once MSB told me he was planning to take the day off, it seemed like a good way to just spend some time together.

The Huntsville Botanical Gardens opened in 1988 and has really, really grown.  I think the last time we spent a day wandering was back in, oh, 2009 or something like that (I just went and checked, because I posted about it on the sewing blog.  2006.  Oy.  And that dogwood succumbed to a tree disease  a few years later)  Amazing how much it has changed  since then.

'Moses Rocks' -- my name for them.  If I ever have a yard fountain it would be one of those.

So, we had a nice day racking up steps on the fitbits, lol.  It's nice to remind ourselves that a nice time together doesn't have to involve packing stuff up and going somewhere else.

 

 Iconic view from the walkway in the Water Garden

 This unique piece is on the very edge of the garden and goes nowhere.  Interesting....

In the butterfly house.

I'll pick back up with the Desert Study next Friday. 

Vacations are always too short.

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi.

Well, generally speaking, anyway.  I suppose it's theoretically possible to stay somewhere long enough  to be bored and ready to come home but I have not had that experience, lol.

We had timeshare points that were going to go away in December; if we didn't use them, we'd lose them.  We only get one week every other year, and we didn't use them last year, thinking we would use them for planned family Disney trip this fall.  Ultimately, though, we decided to stay on Disney property for a number of reasons...which meant we had to use those points.

And we left it too late.  It wasn't a matter of 'where do you want to go?' -- it was 'Oh, gee, what can we get, during a week that we can use it?'

So we ended up at a resort in northern Georgia...that was about 7 miles away from the nearest town, situated near a golf course.

And since they only have two-bedroom units, and 'our'  one-week-every-other-year unit has only one bedroom, 4 days was the max.

But, you know, my idea of a vacation is to go someplace quiet and do ....nothing.  Or something. Sleep late.  Read books.  So 4 days in the middle of nowhere in Georgia really wasn't bad.

It rained the first two days and was gorgeous the other two.

I finally finished a project I started LAST year...when we went to a state park for 3 days and my hubby was half sick so we did pretty much nothing.  That was the last 'no -agenda' vacation, and I thought I could do something specific.

I'd gotten Dr Caroline Leaf's book The Perfect You   when she spoke at our women's conference a few years back.  In the middle of this book is something she calls 'the Unique Qualitative (UQ) Assement Tool'.  I was told it was a 350 - question quiz to help identify how an individual's mind operates.  I thought it would be like all those quizzes you take on Facebook...'Pick the phrase that best describes you', sort of thing, with a key at the back to explain what all the answers mean.

Ha ha and HA!.  It's 350+ essay questions.  7 modules with at least 50 questions in each module. So, I thought last spring, with three days at a state park with basically nothing to do, I should finish easily.

HAHAHA again.  I wrote like a beast, except for a couple of 'let's take a walk' or 'let's play Ticket to Ride' breaks, and I got through FOUR of the seven units.

I puttered around with it at slow moments in the interim, but when we packed up to leave over the weekend I still had the last module to do.  So, I decided that, if I got NOTHING else done while gone, I would finish that last module.

It rained Monday and Tuesday, and it wasn't until Tuesday afternoon that I finished.

Whew.

All totaled, I wrote 119 pages in a college-ruled composition book.

It's the 'Book of Lisa', y'all.

And, here's the kicker, there's no real key to interpreting the data.

Because the awareness comes as you are answering the questions...and then evaluating all the answers you gave for a particular module.  No one sees the answers but you and they don't compare to a standard.  There's no reason not to be brutally honest with yourself, which is good, because this is an exercise in introspection and self awareness.  Some areas I knew I would be strong in, I was.  Some I expected to be strong in, I wasn't.  And I could see that as I answered the questions.  Because I wrote the questions and the answers in the composition book, I can now go back and re-read and consider the impact of those answers.  I think it will take another focused effort to analyze and interpret my answers...and then apply what I learn.

It sounds crazy, just looking at that, but it really was a journey of self-discovery.  It's going to be another journey of  adaptation in some areas.

And I still have to finish reading the last third of the book, lol.

But...hey, I really DID that thing! :-)

We didn't have a view of the mountains like I'd hoped, but we did have a nice open sky.

And you all know...I love the sky...so here's a pic from vacation that seems appropriate.

A Little Time Away

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Craziest thing in the world...head out of town between Thanksgiving and Christmas for a little 'Down Time'.

But sometimes, well, you take it when you can get it.  Our 38th wedding anniversary was in August, and, well, that was an exceptionally busy month,  followed by more busy months... around the middle of November I looked at the calendar and looked at My Sweet Babboo and said, 'If we're going to get away, we're gonna have to do it the week after Thanksgiving.  The next break after that will be February."

So he got online and began looking to see what was available.  He found a cabin on Lake Chewalca, a state park about 4 hours south of us.     We didn't know anything at all about the park, but it said the cabin had a lake view and, being a state park, it was affordable.  So he booked it, and last Thursday we headed out of town, with a rather rainy forecast.  But that was ok.  I was just ready to do nothing.

We had phone reception, but no WIFI.  Which was just fine.

The cabin was built in the 1930's.  The whole park, from the building of the dam for the lake to the cabins and other buildings, was a CCC project.

As it turned out, our lake view looked straight across the lake to the dam...which is barely discernible  in the gap in the trees.  We did a bit of hiking before the rain moved in, and discovered that the dam was actually at the top of a pretty little gorge, just above where a grist mill had been in the late 1800's.  We clambered over way more rocks than I probably should have, given that I'm on PT for Achilles tendonitis, going up and down some pretty steep inclines.  But it was surprisingly picturesque.

The gorge continued to drop at least twice as much again...the sound of the water rushing over the rocks was lovely.

We hung out in the cabin whilst it rained on Saturday.  It was, like, 70 degrees despite the rain, but the compressed fire logs add more ambiance than heat and we went through almost a whole box over the weekend.

Despite predictions of more rain, it was a gorgeous day on Sunday. After attending a church in the area pastored by some friends and having a lovely chat with them over lunch, we did a teeny bit more hiking, mostly to find evidence of how much the lake level had risen and dropped with Saturday's precip.  Looked to be about  6 - 8 inches...and it knocked a LOT of the color out of the trees.

Chewalca State Park is apparently a mountain bike racing venue;  there were  strange hazardous-looking features scattered throughout the trails, and I watched a couple of college guys go barreling down a trail that I couldn't have navigated on foot without a sturdy stick to help.  Amazing.

We really enjoyed our weekend and, despite some slight issues with the cabin, hope to go back sometime in the future.  When I'm not on walking restrictions for my ankles.

Now to shift focus to holiday happenings.  But at least I had a chance to destress and catch my breath a bit with my favorite guy.

A Bit of a Break...then a New Study...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi 

2/4/18 - before the first service in the still-being-renovated facility; what used to be the cafeteria at the high school, now the lobby....

We made it.  All the stuff.  All the people.  All the equipment.  Well, the guest WIFI still  isn't up and running, but it's in progress.

We're still probably 3 months away from completion of the gym-to-sanctuary conversion; who knows how long before we have all the 'coming soon' features are running as planned and all the functions that are currently in temp spaces moved to their permanent locations.  But we're here.

And our board has done an incredible thing.  They're giving the staff a week off, to catch our breath and rest.  Not all at once...in a rolling rotation of 1/4 of the staff a week for four weeks.

We've been given instructions...make it a mini sabbatical. Spend time in prayer.  Go dark on social media. Get away for a day or two.

Sounds wonderful.

My turn is next week.  So I'm going dark on social media, effective Monday.

Not that that makes a huge difference here; I've been pretty 'dark' for a while.

We have reservations at a state park for the end of the week, but My Sweet Babboo has contracted a rather nasty respiratory bug so I don't know if that's going to happen.  But I'm going to be more or less offline, so even if we don't get over to the river for a couple of days, I'm going to get a break.

I thought I would spend some time pondering the next online Bible study; I haven't done one for a while and I'm feeling the void.  But yesterday in staff prayer I suddenly realized what the next book should be.

We've crossed the Jordan, now it's time to settle in and take the land.

I thought about doing a syllabus; sat down and started putting one together but then I thought, 'What's the hurry? We can do one chapter a week.'

So, starting two weeks from today, join me as we jump in to Joshua.
 

A Splendiferous Weekend...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

July 2014 was the last time I took a group of girls to the state Girls Ministry camp...we were changing programs for our girls, which meant that we would  no longer be participating in the annual camp, as we would not be doing the curriculum associated with the denomination hosting the camp.

It was a lovely place and, despite the fact that there was a certain level of stress associated with being responsible for the girls, I savored moments of spiritual communing by the lake there. I always thought it would be beautiful in the fall, but, hey, there was no reason for me to go in the fall.  I was sad when we left that last year; I expected that was the last time I would be there.

But.

Our boys program is still with the curriculum from that denomination, and my hubby has worked with the boys at church for something like 14 years.  Every year, there is a weekend retreat for the commanders (the term for the guys who teach the boys) and their wives statewide...at the same camp/conference center, which is adjacent to the state boys' campground.  Historically, it has been the 2nd weekend in September...which is always the weekend of our big women's conference at church.  Until 2014, the men of our church worked childcare for the conference, but we had to quit offering childcare because we had more kids than we had space.

Off the hook for childcare, My Sweet Babboo went to the Royal Ranger conference.  Came back talking about how great it was and how much he wished I could've gone...or could go.

But...data base admin... registration... there's no way I could miss the women's conference.  He went again last year by himself.  The state senior commander talked to him about the dates...would we ever move our conference?

Um, not gonna happen.

Ok, he said, let me see what I can do.

About a year ago, he called My Sweet Babboo and asked him how the last weekend in October looked.  I checked the church calendar and there was nothing listed.  We agreed it looked good, and that we'd go together.

Well...due to a series of events, our first big Men's conference, which had been scheduled during the summer, had to be rescheduled.  Wouldn't you know...they moved it to the last weekend in October.

Data base admin... registration.... aaiiieeee.  I talked to our Men's pastor.  I've got a prior commitment. They moved the conference for us.  We have to go.  He shook his head...but agreed.

So I ended up creating the lists for check in...helping set up...explaining the processes to a few of our usual registration volunteers and one staff person.  Then I went with my Sweet Baboo to the conference center that had wifi I couldn't access and limited phone reception.

In all the years we've been going there, for Rangers and Girls camps, this was the first time we ever went together.

I did get a text yesterday morning...a list I was supposed to generate that I totally forgot about in the crunch.  But my back-home folks were capable and once I pointed them in the right direction, they ran the list without any more coaching.  Whew.

And I got to spend quiet time by the lake again...in the fall...with My Sweet Babboo.   Add to that the word we received and the people I met...it was a gift.

The Best Souvenir Ever

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

We spent the last few days in Gatlinburg, TN, which is either the most blatant tourist trap east of the Mississippi and north of Orlando, or the coolest place to just have a relaxing, fun family time...depending on your point of view.

I'm not big on touristy stuff or cheesy shows or country music; but I do love the mountains and I really appreciate real artisan crafts.  So I guess I'm somewhere in the middle.

We skipped all the 'tourist attractions' this go round and spent some time hiking one of the mountain trails...2.25 miles of the 8ish mile trail, climbing about 700 feet before we turned around (my calves are still complaining about that).  But once we passed the first muddy place on the trail,  most of the crowd dropped back and we pretty much had the trail to ourselves.  It was a beautiful day. and I got some beautiful pictures, like this one:

 And this one...if you look closely, you can see Gatlinburg  through the gap.  We could pick out the Space Needle, although it doesn't show in the  photo.

And this one...which made me think of Middle Earth...











But probably the neatest thing happened on the day when we cruised the Arts and Crafts Loop.

No trip to Gatlinburg is complete without a trip to Alewine Pottery, and we were there before the crowd.  Whilst we were perusing the stock, just taking in the vast array of beautiful pieces, a young lady came up to us and asked if we'd like our portraits drawn.  'It's free,' she said, 'Or, if you like, you can make a donation to St. Jude.'

Now, I follow AP on Instagram and Facebook, and I knew that there was a particular reason she was fundraising for St. Jude.  So we asked her if she'd like us to come and sit for the portrait.  She said that would be great, so we  arranged ourselves in the rocking chairs in the lobby by the fireplace and watched as she picked up an ink pen and proceeded to studiously draw on one of the sheets of paper used to wrap the pottery after purchase.

We also watched work on lamp bases...careful finishing and embellishing of the basic shapes...as we sat for our portraits.    After a bit, she commented that she wasn't going to draw the poses we were in...but that was fine with us.    Eventually, she asked for our names and notated the picture, then she signed it.

Of course, we had to get a photo with the artist.   We made our donation to St Jude in the jar on the counter; you can make yours here.  It is one of the few organizations about which I feel no hesitation at all to promote on the blog.

Press Pause

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I know, today is supposed to be 'Bible Studyish' day...and by rights I should be composing the next little look at someone going through a transition.

But, ya know, sometimes ya need a break.

I think that really is beginning to get through my thick skull.

We took a zippy 6 day trip up to Indiana to spend a day or two with our parents, and celebrate our 35th anniversary in the process.

My hubby surprised me by making reservations in the Inn at Turkey Run State Park.  The 'Anniversary Package' included  a night in the inn, dinner and breakfast, and a late checkout.  Oh, and a bottle of champagne (which we switched for sparkling grape juice.  Honest.) and commemorative stemmed glasses with chocolate.




It was quite a treat...and we hiked like crazy Monday morning to squeeze in our favorite bits of the park...the big trees on trail 9 and Rocky Hollow on trail 3. Climbed boulders, ladders, many stairs...yeah, we were feeling it the next day.

We tend to forget how much we enjoy each other's company...when we're so busy that we're basically just saying 'good morning' and 'good night' to each other.

We've taken the kids to Turkey Run a few times...this was the first time we got to go by ourselves.   And the first time we were there for sunset and sunrise.  We actually hiked the half mile down to the suspension bridge before breakfast to take sunrise photos.

Now, of course, I'm playing catch up and I have some pretty major stuff to cover this weekend at work.

Coming back, I told My Sweet Baboo that we need to begin now to schedule our next 'just us' getaway.  

And it needs to happen before Christmas... ;-)



Look for the post on Israel: The 'Face the Music' Road next week...

Deconstruction

We have a new pastor at church who will be over our discipleship/education areas, and he wanted to see material from past programs. So I've dug out my binder from what we called 'RELEASE' school of ministry...7 12-week courses all geared to training folks in areas needed for doing any kind of service. The courses were:

Responsibility
Excellence
Leadership
Experience
Authority
Spirit
Execution

This was in the 2002- 2004 time frame; on Wednesday nights before I got involved in the Girls' Ministry program. However, the church grew so fast that we literally ran out of places to put the classes and the 7th session never was (or, maybe, hasn't yet been) offered.

The basic structure for each course was that we had a book to read, we were given a specific portion of the Bible to read so that we read the entire Book over the course of the 7 - class schedule, pertinent Scripture to memorize, and classes to attend. At the end of each course, we were to turn in a one-page book report on the book and do a small written test on the memory work.

The book report was a very interesting thing. It was to be 3 paragraphs; the first was a summary of the book, the second was noting what was personally significant and the third was to be action point or points to be taken as a result of what was learned.

I actually thought it would be good to apply that process to any book I read...and I did it once.

Now, when I pulled the binder with all my accumulated material (the one class I'm missing just happens to be the 7th one) to take in to our new pastor, I read over some of it. I was dismayed to find that lack of follow through on my intention to summarize the books I'd read was pretty much the picture in a nutshell of my staying power on what I'd learned in general.

I have failed to implement even one of my action points...and they were good, important points, all geared to deepening my relationship with my Lord. What happened?

My friends, I got busy. And I got distracted.

I looked over my history for the past 6 - 7 years, and I found that 1)My ministry involvement at church increased tremendously 2) My volunteer sewing increased tremendously and 3) My time on the internet, in online sewing communities, blogging, and now Facebook increased tremendously.

Now, there's nothing *wrong* with any of that, and some of it is even commendable, but if my personal spiritual growth has stagnated then it is Not Good.

But it's all part of Who I Am Now.

And I'm reminded that, at the start of the year, I asked God to take me apart and put me back together again and I realize that all of this is part of that process. I do not want just fall back into the old patterns once I'm 100% healthy and back to Doing again.

It's a submission issue, of course, and I actually summed it up in my book report for the Responsibility class (the book was The Glad Surrender, by Elisabeth Elliot):

...discipline is not so much an act of my will forcing my behavior, but of my will submitting to the Father and letting Him mold my behavior...to do what I have repeatedly proven I cannot do in my own strength and determination.

Be Careful What You Ask For

So...mono slowed me down but didn't stop me, then last night, while doing an 'urgent' small sewing project for The Actor, I whacked a small divot off my finger w/my rotary cutter (my typing...and retyping and retyping...is bordering on ludicrous. I must want to share this really bad...). So now even the little I was doing has gotten more difficult.

Do you suppose Someone is trying to tell me something?

In trying to find my bearings again, I picked up my journal and re-read some of my more recent (as in the last 12 months) entries, and when I read this bit, dated June 30, lamenting my over booked calendar, I laughed out loud at myself:

You said that I can do all things through You, who gives me strength. But I don't wanna do all things -- I just want a chance to do nothing....

Now, in all honesty I was confessing and asking for help and grace. That was not a prayer I expected to be heard, much less answered.

But here I am with a chance to do nothing...and, well, let's just say there's a reason our words should be seasoned w/grace; sometimes we have to eat them...

Am I Listening?

Last week, I went to work on Tuesday, thinking I was over the hump as I hadn't had any mono symptoms. I came home tired, but not worn out, and really figured I was on the uphill.

In the mail that day was a precious card from a friend...stamped and decorated, with a devotional reading in it. I thought of you as I read this devotional... she wrote.

I quickly read through it; it was about trusting God in times of weakness. A very good word. I smiled to myself, I'm over it now. But how sweet of her to send it!

Well, let me tell you, I was NOT 'over it'. My Sweet Baboo called the doctors office on Tuesday THIS WEEK to find out how long I should plan to lay low. They told him 6 - 8 weeks, IF I honestly rest.

I'm only about halfway done.

So I dug my friend's card back out, and this morning made it part of my devotional. The note says it's from Jesus Calling

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again...instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.

I actually have not been wishing them away; but I HAVE been trying to squeeze in things that I didn't have time to do when I was active. Hence I am NOT being still. I actually almost feel like I'm wasting the down time by NOT being down. I'm fiddling with things...not terribly taxing, but DOING just the same...when I could be sitting at the table, with my Bible, with a couple of books that I really want to read, soaking Him in.

Instead, I'm puttering about doing things, fearing that I'll be up and active before I get the stuff done and...having wasted my opportunity to draw near to Him by doing stuff.

Yes, it's a contradiction! And, in my down time, I don't have enough time.

Hm...He Speaks Where You Don't Expect It...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Last weekend was trying; it was the production weekend for the play the kids had been preparing since Christmas break...Romeo and Juliet. It's likely the Actor's last school production, and he had the role of Mercutio. I had to go watch his performance...we went to the Saturday matinee, as I thought that would be the least taxing. Then, because I had no substitute for my Sunday morning class, I went to church to teach first service. One thing led to another, and, well, I ended up leaving around the middle of 3rd service; I'd been at church 5 hours. I was tired and achy and headed home, but the Princess wanted to go see the Sunday matinee and she didn't want to go alone. I thought about the work I'd seen the day before, and realized that I really didn't want to pass up my last chance to see Mercutio. So I went again.

And, Mondays being Mondays, I went in to work for a bit and stayed 6 hours.

Sometimes ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.

I'm achy, sore throaty and beat.

I've obviously not licked the mono bug yet; I brought work home (is it a blessing to be able to access the data base and work from any computer?) and plan to stay here for the rest of the week.

Now, I really am trying to figure out the purpose in all this. I am obviously being pulled aside from the routine; I'm missing something here.

Then, this morning I checked Facebook to find that two of my friends, who don't know each other at all and who live in different parts of the country, had the following back-to-back posts:

Keep your eyes on Me! Waves of adversity are washing over you, and you feel tempted to give up. As your circumstances consume more and more of your attention, you are losing sight of Me. Yet I am with you always, holding you by your right hand. I am fully aware of your situation, and I will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able to bear. Psalm 73:23; I Corinthians 10:13

and

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:34 (MSG)

Those phrases "Keep your eyes on Me!" and "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now" jumped off the screen at me.

I admit it; I've not been spending all this down time focusing on what God is doing; I've mostly been focusing on what I can do and what I need to do and what I can't get to that's bugging me.

So...I need a serious change of focus. What IS God doing, right now?

I won't get that if I don't focus on HIM instead of the STUFF.

(and thanks to Laurie and Buffi for putting a sermon on Facebook without even knowing it... ;) )

So...more rest...

I really thought I'd be better by now. I mean, I really thought I WAS better. No real symptoms for three or four days; I thought I was ok to go to work for a little bit (so the little bit was 6 hours...it's not a terribly strenuous job...).

But I woke up this morning to a fresh new sore throat/earache combo and as the day progressed I got more and more puny feeling.

Guess it wasn't gone.

So, I'm finding subs and making alternate plans yet again.

Mono 1, Lisa 0.

Overdue, Part two...The Butterfly Picture

Have you ever gotten fed up with yourself? Just ready to get over all the stuff and get on with whatever you're called to do?

I've been there for awhile, and during the fast I heard myself praying a prayer that basically gave God permission...no, I'd say even asked Him...to take me apart and put me back together again however it suits His purpose. It sounds so trite now, but I caught my breath when I heard it come from my heart, because...it could change everything.

Virtually everything.

The next day, I reviewed that resolve and decided that I just had to stick with it.

And suddenly I saw a mental image of a butterfly going through the metamorphosis from caterpillar to winged creature.

Somewhere I read that during that time, the caterpillar pretty much totally disintegrates inside the chrysalis and then reforms. It's pretty nigh miraculous, if you ask me; so wondrous and yet so commonplace.

I remember my kids doing the painted lady butterfly projects at school in about 2nd grade; they'd be all exited about their caterpillars growing and then 'forming the J shape' as they began the process.

And the thing about butterflies is that, unlike moths, butterfly caterpillars don't spin cocoons; they pupate inside the caterpillar skin.

When I asked God how long this would take, what I got as an answer was, 'It depends on how much you fight the process.'

And then I found myself at home...to rest.

But I'm still doing stuff. If I *felt* sick, it'd be different, but I just have a sorta sore throat and achy fatigue. So I have still been trying to keep the work piles at a manageable size...both work work and regular laundry and such. I can't decide if it's a blessing or not that I can access the church data base online and work from home.

And, being home so much, the sewing room is singing its usual siren song.

I told a friend of mine today that I was frustrated that I didn't seem to be getting better. It's probably because I'm only half resting.

Fighting the process, I suppose.

So I need to put the two things together...'don't fight the process' and 'strengthen that which remains'.

Two very interesting phrases to guide me this year.

Stop and Rest

All last week, I tried to get to the computer to post some insights I'd gained during the fast; however, computer time is still at a premium in our corner of The Rocket City, and I just couldn't get it done.

Then, last Friday, I got results of a blood test and found out that I've got an active mononucleosis infection. Well, that DID explain a lot.

So now I'm trying to figure out how to stop everything and rest. I'm not doing so well; I was at work about 4 hours yesterday and 2 1/2 more today.

I have sub teachers for my Wednesday night class for the next couple of weeks; if I can find someone to cover the Sunday morning class I will stay home all weekend...I've already gotten excused from choir for the rest of the month.

At first, I thought...yeah, rest...I can sit at home with my Bible and my notebooks and just spend the day with Jesus! How wonderful!

But I'm falling asleep when I sit still. My plan (did you catch that? "MY PLAN"? ) to use my resting time productively isn't working so well. At least not yet, because I haven't sat down to rest until I've Hit The Wall.

So...all that reflecting I did during the Jubilee year about rest is now going to come home to roost. Until I've rested, I'm not much good for anything. And if I *don't* rest, it's only going to get worse, not better.

This is an exercise in trust...trust that the people to whom I have delegated things will carry them out. That's hard for me; I've been let down seriously many times in the past. But now it's not a trust of the PEOPLE...I've got to trust GOD that He'll work through the people. And I've got to learn to let go of the details that, just maybe, aren't as important as I thought they were.

Friends, I've got to completely drop MY AGENDA.

I thought I had gotten rid of my agenda along time ago. But, guess what, I found out I still have one. It's just not the same one it used to be.

So, I will continue to reflect whilst (hopefully) contemplating the back of my eyelids as much as possible in the next couple of weeks, and, once I've rested enough, post something. ;)