Overdue, Part two...The Butterfly Picture

Have you ever gotten fed up with yourself? Just ready to get over all the stuff and get on with whatever you're called to do?

I've been there for awhile, and during the fast I heard myself praying a prayer that basically gave God permission...no, I'd say even asked Him...to take me apart and put me back together again however it suits His purpose. It sounds so trite now, but I caught my breath when I heard it come from my heart, because...it could change everything.

Virtually everything.

The next day, I reviewed that resolve and decided that I just had to stick with it.

And suddenly I saw a mental image of a butterfly going through the metamorphosis from caterpillar to winged creature.

Somewhere I read that during that time, the caterpillar pretty much totally disintegrates inside the chrysalis and then reforms. It's pretty nigh miraculous, if you ask me; so wondrous and yet so commonplace.

I remember my kids doing the painted lady butterfly projects at school in about 2nd grade; they'd be all exited about their caterpillars growing and then 'forming the J shape' as they began the process.

And the thing about butterflies is that, unlike moths, butterfly caterpillars don't spin cocoons; they pupate inside the caterpillar skin.

When I asked God how long this would take, what I got as an answer was, 'It depends on how much you fight the process.'

And then I found myself at home...to rest.

But I'm still doing stuff. If I *felt* sick, it'd be different, but I just have a sorta sore throat and achy fatigue. So I have still been trying to keep the work piles at a manageable size...both work work and regular laundry and such. I can't decide if it's a blessing or not that I can access the church data base online and work from home.

And, being home so much, the sewing room is singing its usual siren song.

I told a friend of mine today that I was frustrated that I didn't seem to be getting better. It's probably because I'm only half resting.

Fighting the process, I suppose.

So I need to put the two things together...'don't fight the process' and 'strengthen that which remains'.

Two very interesting phrases to guide me this year.