Ok, take a little time slipping by with a whole lot of busy thrown in, and now I can be a little more objective about my faux pas of a couple of weeks ago.
It is my perspective that is/was out of line. Not wrong, you understand, but not in line with the leadership I'm under. The paradigm that worked when I was the sole youth worker in a small church has run me headlong into a brick wall twice in the seven months I've been in this particular position in a very large church.
And we must all be lined up for the ministry to be as effective as possible.
So, in a nutshell, I need to get in line. I don't like hitting brick walls -- it makes my head hurt.
But, this means I need to shift my personal ministry paradigm. And that's were Romans 12:2 comes in.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
See, the 'pattern of this world' dictates standing up for one's rights, ideas, viewpoints. But that's not how things work in the Kingdom of God.
Now, I really and truly thought I understood submission to authority. And, in some areas, that's true. It's not difficult for me to see the difference between seeking my own way vs. seeking to serve. What tripped me up, and what I have just realized in the last week or so, is that I had problems submitting when the subject wasn't me but something I cared passionately about. It's not wanting *my* way at all, but wanting what's best for the area in which I'm serving that got me into trouble. That's a whole 'nother level of submission to authority. Because it goes beyond me to others. And, because we're standing in different places with different viewpoints, 'what's best' looks different.
So, what I have to do is move my viewpoint. Because I am under the leadership. This doesn't necessarily mean that I absolutely agree with it, but it does mean that I absolutely support it. (Disclaimer: we are not talking about differences in beliefs, only differences in methodology).
And that totally flies in the face of any kind of worldly notion of sense. But -- remember what I wrote last week? Romans 12:2 has a promise. That when we refuse to conform to the pattern of the world, we will be able to test and see what God's will is for that situation. So, to be able to test and approve what God's will is in this area, I need to make sure that my heart/mind is totally out of alignment with what the world/common sense viewpoint might be. Because God is able to make all things work together for good...even if I don't see it as 'good'. Ultimately, I am not the one responsible to set the direction...my leadership is. And, ultimately, I'm not the one responsible for the kingdom to be manifested in the areas in which I'm ministering -- God is.
What I am responsible for is to pray for my leadership...that God will lead and they will hear, then keep myself lined up with the vision they are implementing. Then I'm responsible to prayerfully fulfill my duties under their direction to the best of my ability and leave the rest to God.
The paradigm shift involves both changing my viewpoint AND not fussing about it. It's trusting God to work through methods that may not appear to be 'the best' to my intellect. Furthermore, I have to admit that what looks 'the best' to me may not really be 'the best' at all.
That works very well with the context of verse 2, following after the exhortation in verse 1 to offer your bodies as living sacrifices and preceding the instruction in verse 3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.
I honestly believe this is a test. Even a pretty basic test. One I'm determined to pass.
Because, you know, my head hurts. ;)
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