Jubilee Monday #30 - Gulp!

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Ok, so I finally 'fess up to a dream of being a speaker/teacher to groups of women, and guess what shows up in my Bloglines list just a few days later:

A contest to win a scholarship to a conference to equip women writers/speakers/minstry leaders!

It's the eighth annual She Speaks Conference, which is hosted by Lysa TerKeurst and Proverbs 31 Ministries and is specifically intended to equip women in ministry, with different tracks for speaking, writing and leading. Wow. How cool is that?

And it's in Concord, North Carolina...that is, it's within a day's drive of the Rocket City. I could physically get there.

So suddenly I had a choice...I could follow the rules and enter the contest, just to see if God used it somehow, or I could pretend I didn't see it and continue to wonder how I might get the mentoring/training I feel like I need in order to go where I'm dreaming.

Now, for the few and the faithful who drop by here, can I just say the choice shook me up a bit? Because an entry is a risk, you know. Only one scholarship is being given away; and the entry is the blog post that links to the contest. So, yeah, the post you are reading now will also be read by People Who Are Evaluating It.

I've felt pretty secure in the anonymity of my little corner of the blogsphere; self-promotion was never really part of my vision for the blog. And, can I just say that the idea of writing for a grade (in which only ONE 'pass' is awarded) is pretty intimidating? But -- I *had* to write an entry, because I'd JUST said my dream was to speak to women, only I had no idea how to go about doing it.

Because, you know, this *may* be God's way of pushing me into it. According to the Speaker Track info, one who chooses that track will get great seminar information and also the opportunity to speak twice. The first talk will be three minutes long and be a personal story; it will be reviewed by peers. The second will be a five-minute 'teaching talk', and will be evaluated by a member of the Proverbs 31 speaking team.

Aaaiiiieee. Five minutes. My main speaking experience is a Sunday-school or Wednesday night pre-teens class type of setting in which I sometimes struggle to stay on topic well enough to cover all the material in 45 minutes. Giving a five minute teaching would be miraculous.

It scares me with the kind of scare that comes with something that is a new challenge to be faced.

In reality, it may be scaring me for nothin', because they are only giving away one scholarship. And there are LOTS of women who would be blessed beyond words to receive it. So I know that it's really a God thing if this crazy post should win any favor.

But, you know, sometimes obedience brings a different reward. I *have* to post the entry...it may not result in a scholarship, but it will result in something.

Because God is funny that way. And it *is* the Jubilee Year.