Strengthen My Hands and Tune My Ears

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Guess I'm on a Plain Vanilla kick at the moment. Funny how this stuff I wrote years ago is speaking to me now. Here's another excerpt.

Shortly after the birth of my fourth child, I gave up my position of ‘youth leader/teacher/whatever’ at our small church, since I felt the students needed more than I would be physically capable of giving them. I didn’t realize how much of my identity was tied up in my position of “Youth Leader,” or how much spiritual nourishment I was getting just by hauling them to various conferences and activities, or how much I enjoyed the interaction with other youth-ministry people. Suddenly, all of that was history.

I found myself struggling to teach the junior girl’s mission class on Wednesday nights with curriculum that frequently did not arrive (and seemed like just so much busy work when it did). I spent my church services sitting alone with my nursing baby in the nursery, listening to the sermon over the intercom. I literally felt like I had dropped into a spiritual black hole. Add to that the normal chaos of adjusting a house to a new baby – even a fairly contented one – and you can see that I was headed for Whine City. I have multiple journal entries in which I whined to God about my house being a mess; about feeling fat and unattractive; about the pointlessness of the mission class I was teaching; about feeling like I was not giving my husband or my three older kids anything they deserved from a wife and mother. Over and over, I heard myself pray, “God, get me out of this mess!”


The one bright spot was that I was enrolled in Bible Study Fellowship, and I had an hour and forty-five minutes every Tuesday evening in which I could drink in spiritual refreshment. We were studying “Israel and the Minor Prophets,” which required quite a bit of study through the week, and it was the lifeline to which I clung desperately. I will never forget the night my teaching leader discussed Nehemiah...and observed that, despite the difficulties and pressure he faced, Nehemiah never once said, “Lord, get me out of this mess.” Instead, he prayed, “Lord, strengthen my hands.”

Have you ever been smacked right between the eyes with conviction? I was that night! Now, not only did I know that my circumstances were less than ideal, I also recognized that my attitude was in need of some serious adjusting. But, in all honesty, I hadn’t a clue how to go about adjusting it. I was moaning over this to God, and this time I actually felt a response from Him. “You are focusing on yourself and your imperfections,” He told me. “You need to focus on Me and My Perfection.”

I was still pretty disgusted over the whole situation, and I’ll admit I was a little sarcastic when I replied, “That sounds just great, Lord. How do I do that?” I wanted something practical, down-to-earth that I could quantify. I didn’t expect there to be anything other than "Read your Bible and pray," (You know, the standard Sunday School lifestyle answer).

But I received a different answer. “Praise and worship music.”

So, I began to listen to praise and worship music. Not just contemporary Christian music, but music that was expressly used to lift up God’s name and praise Him. I can’t say that I suddenly woke up and found everything changed in a hurry…in fact, a number of my physical circumstances haven’t changed that much. But, God did something with my attitude. My confidence in Him returned, and I found strength to keep going.

The truth is that God speaks to Plain Vanillas, but the speaking often is not dramatic or obviously supernatural. It is God’s Spirit speaking to the inner man, something that could almost be written off as imagination. In fact, it would be surprisingly easy to ignore God’s voice altogether if I was convinced that He wouldn’t talk to me. He gave me a revelation that, while not being something grand or flashy or earth-shaking, still was enough to get me out of my Slough of Despond.

Remember, all you other Plain Vanillas, God speaks to you, and He does wonders for you. You may not be aware of it, but it is happening. Expect it and keep expecting it. Look for it. Sooner or later, you will realize what God is doing.