Some time with an old friend

I have several books that I have started over the last few months that I want to try and finish reading during the fast...non-fiction books to get me to look at things in my life...and as I have thoughts on those I'll no doubt be posting them.

And I also have some pretty substantial Bible work to do...more on that on another day, too.

But the last few days I have been savoring a bit of time with an old friend of mine that has suddenly come back to mind, Hannah Hurnard's classic Hinds' Feet in High Place 

I can't really remember how long ago it was that a friend loaned me her copy and said I must read it...but I read it, gave it back, immediately ran out and bought my own copy and read it again.  I have no idea how many times I've read it since...and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before on the blog.

If I had to move to some small dwelling and could only take a half dozen books with me, this would be one. (Oy, sudden thought....I don't know if I COULD just take half a dozen books...)

This time, though, I'm doing something I've not done before...I'm actually underlining some passages.  Here is one from chapter 4 that particularly encouraged me:

All the fairest beauties in the human soul, its greatest victories, and its most splendid achievements are always those which no one else knows anything about

But, you know the Good Shepherd knows...

I struggle with feeling invisible.  When we first started attending our church, I very clearly heard 'You are to be invisible.'

Just coming from a very small congregation in which we were most certainly visible participants, my weary self relished that word.

But I had so very little concept of what it really meant.  Many times in the past 10 years I've come back to that, when my flesh wanted to be offended over some oversight, and reminded myself that He said I was to be invisible.

If He has put a cloak of invisibility on me, I can't be offended by people who don't see through it.

I'll tell you this...invisibility is a wonderful test of motives.  It has really made me inspect my actions ...why, really, did I do something?  Was it to serve the kingdom...or get grateful kudos for my service?

I'll be honest, I haven't always liked my answers.

But slowly I am learning this lesson...that the most wonderful service is that which is done in secret.  Invisible.

Because, you know, He sees the invisible.When He is the only one who sees it, there is no mixture of personal agenda in it. So what is left is pure in motive...and beautiful.

If it needs to be seen by someone else, He's the one that will point it out to them.  I don't have to.

And yes, I needed to remind myself of that very much right now.

That's what old friends are for.