Our monthly women's study at church was Tuesday night and involved a look at 'upholding'...and, as part of the study, we were given a list of about 10 verses that mentioned 'upholding', split into groups of 4 - 5 and instructed to read the verses aloud and then discuss them.
I was in a group of ladies I didn't know well, so it was awe inspiring to hear their stories as we discussed the assigned verses. What appeared to be a random assignment...we each took two verses to read and initiate the comments...turned out to be an amazing word to each of us in her own unique season.
The verse that got to me is Ps. 18:35: You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great..
I didn't pre-read it before my turn came, just turned to it and read it cold. I got as far as 'sustains me', and when I read 'you stoop down to make me great' I had an overwhelming sense of the greatness of God and the insignificance of me; yet He was 'stooping down' to lift me up.
And, given the plain unadorned fact that I have been feeling very insignificant of late, I was undone. And completely surprised that I was undone.
Now, I don't think that only means 'great' in a worldly sense, although David was writing it as one who went from a shepherd to a king. So far as this applies to us, God humbled Himself, in the form of Jesus, in order to restore us to a place of authority in His Kingdom.
He is that committed to seeing us take the place He has for us .
He gives me His shield of victory...as if it were my own.
His right hand holds me up...it doesn't matter that I am too weak to fight/persevere/win. His strength never fails.
He comes under me to put me in a high place.
He does this!
Now, how many times have I read Psalms 18? Why had that verse never caught my eye before?
Perhaps it wasn't the season for me to hear that word. Or, perhaps I was so blown away by the rest of Ps. 18 that I just didn't notice.
The notes at the top of the chapter indicate that David sang this psalm 'when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul.'
It's a RICH song.
If you're in a tough place today, look up Ps. 18 and read it through slowly. I'm expecting God to use it to encourage more than just me. And if one of the verses speaks to your situation and gives you hope, share it with the rest of us in a comment.
I'm looking forward to seeing how God ministers to others through this little part of His Word!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I Have No Idea Where This Stuff Comes From
I have a flair button on my facebook bulletin board that reads, 'Why, yes, I do randomly speak with a British accent!'
Not to disrespect anyone who speaks that way normally, but I kinda picked it up when we did 'The Gospel According to Scrooge' at church and every once in a while it just slips out.
So tonight, while preparing my jr. high girls class for a fill-in-the-blank review test we give as a part of the Honor Friends requirements, I not only spoke in the random accent, but then challenged the girls to do their part of the corporate read-aloud in as close to a British accent as they could manage.
We wackily read through it, then I gave them their empty-blank sheets to see if they could remember what we'd just read (sounds rough, but they get the same paper each time and once a blank is filled in correctly, it's filled in and they don't have to re-do it).
I haven't checked the sheets yet to see if the craziness inspired any more correct answers.
Did I plan that at all? Nooooooo. Just happened that way.
Guess it keeps 'em guessing. I know it keeps me guessing....
Not to disrespect anyone who speaks that way normally, but I kinda picked it up when we did 'The Gospel According to Scrooge' at church and every once in a while it just slips out.
So tonight, while preparing my jr. high girls class for a fill-in-the-blank review test we give as a part of the Honor Friends requirements, I not only spoke in the random accent, but then challenged the girls to do their part of the corporate read-aloud in as close to a British accent as they could manage.
We wackily read through it, then I gave them their empty-blank sheets to see if they could remember what we'd just read (sounds rough, but they get the same paper each time and once a blank is filled in correctly, it's filled in and they don't have to re-do it).
I haven't checked the sheets yet to see if the craziness inspired any more correct answers.
Did I plan that at all? Nooooooo. Just happened that way.
Guess it keeps 'em guessing. I know it keeps me guessing....
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Plain Vanilla: Small Things
Posted By Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi
Every once in a while, I get an urge to go post something from the Plain Vanilla File. I don't know why the urge strikes, but it hit tonight and, cruising through the folder, this bit caught my eye.
We don't always recognize God in the small things. But the small things make a huge difference over time... Anyway, here 'tis:
How God Saved My Marriage
(Plain Vanilla Style)
My hubby related this story to me quite a while ago, and I remember that it really surprised me at the time. It was during one of our ‘deep sharing’ times, when we were talking about our marriage.
He made the comment that he recalled a time when we’d been married about five years or so, when he was beginning to feel bored with the whole thing. He said that he began to wonder if “this is all there is” to marriage. Well, according to the world’s pattern, that’s about the time our marriage problems should have really started.
However, for some reason (!) he decided that, if the situation was going to change, he needed to change his attitude. Keep in mind, I was a relatively new mom at that time, so I had my plate full just being mom and I was totally unaware he was thinking through this. Now, years later, I can tell you that that decision made a great difference. He has pursued opportunities to learn about being a good husband and father; he has done things in our home that most men wouldn’t consider doing. I never knew that he decided to take responsibility for keeping our marriage growing and vibrant…I just knew that it was good!
When he told me about his decision, my jaw dropped. I mean, that’s just not the sort of thing a typical modern American male would do! Yet, he did it. To my way of thinking, that was God keeping the sword from passing through the land. Sure, there are marriages in which God does great, spectacular restorations…but He was just as involved in that small, quiet decision, made in private and carried out diligently. God really and truly saved my marriage…but if my sweetie had never told me about his decision, I would never have known.
Every once in a while, I get an urge to go post something from the Plain Vanilla File. I don't know why the urge strikes, but it hit tonight and, cruising through the folder, this bit caught my eye.
We don't always recognize God in the small things. But the small things make a huge difference over time... Anyway, here 'tis:
How God Saved My Marriage
(Plain Vanilla Style)
My hubby related this story to me quite a while ago, and I remember that it really surprised me at the time. It was during one of our ‘deep sharing’ times, when we were talking about our marriage.
He made the comment that he recalled a time when we’d been married about five years or so, when he was beginning to feel bored with the whole thing. He said that he began to wonder if “this is all there is” to marriage. Well, according to the world’s pattern, that’s about the time our marriage problems should have really started.
However, for some reason (!) he decided that, if the situation was going to change, he needed to change his attitude. Keep in mind, I was a relatively new mom at that time, so I had my plate full just being mom and I was totally unaware he was thinking through this. Now, years later, I can tell you that that decision made a great difference. He has pursued opportunities to learn about being a good husband and father; he has done things in our home that most men wouldn’t consider doing. I never knew that he decided to take responsibility for keeping our marriage growing and vibrant…I just knew that it was good!
When he told me about his decision, my jaw dropped. I mean, that’s just not the sort of thing a typical modern American male would do! Yet, he did it. To my way of thinking, that was God keeping the sword from passing through the land. Sure, there are marriages in which God does great, spectacular restorations…but He was just as involved in that small, quiet decision, made in private and carried out diligently. God really and truly saved my marriage…but if my sweetie had never told me about his decision, I would never have known.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Jubilee Monday #28 Dare to Dream
I've mentioned dreams of the heart before in connection with Jubilee, and once again that theme has recurred. Sarah posted about dreams, then challenged her readers to articulate their dreams, even offering the opportunity to be a guest blogger to discuss it.
Which once again made me consider dreams of the heart.
It's one thing to cheer on someone else's dream, but it's entirely different to put my own personal dreaming out there.
'Cause, by and large, I haven't even been brave enough to define it to myself.
I read The Journey of Desire several years ago, then picked up the companion study guide/journal and began to seriously work my way through it. It's taken me literally years to get even halfway through because I keep stopping, finding it very difficult to actually write down what my dreams are. And I'm rather ashamed to admit that when I do finally write an answer to the latest question that stumped me, it is a beat-around-the-bush, vague thing that technically answers the question without exposing anything. (Does that mean I'd make a good politician?)
I tell myself I don't know, but I think the truth is I'm afraid to look. 'Cause then I'd be responsible.
So, maybe in my remaining few months of Jubilee, I need to be willing to risk admitting to at least one dream....
Which once again made me consider dreams of the heart.
It's one thing to cheer on someone else's dream, but it's entirely different to put my own personal dreaming out there.
'Cause, by and large, I haven't even been brave enough to define it to myself.
I read The Journey of Desire several years ago, then picked up the companion study guide/journal and began to seriously work my way through it. It's taken me literally years to get even halfway through because I keep stopping, finding it very difficult to actually write down what my dreams are. And I'm rather ashamed to admit that when I do finally write an answer to the latest question that stumped me, it is a beat-around-the-bush, vague thing that technically answers the question without exposing anything. (Does that mean I'd make a good politician?)
I tell myself I don't know, but I think the truth is I'm afraid to look. 'Cause then I'd be responsible.
So, maybe in my remaining few months of Jubilee, I need to be willing to risk admitting to at least one dream....
Friday, March 6, 2009
Paradigm Shifting
Ok, take a little time slipping by with a whole lot of busy thrown in, and now I can be a little more objective about my faux pas of a couple of weeks ago.
It is my perspective that is/was out of line. Not wrong, you understand, but not in line with the leadership I'm under. The paradigm that worked when I was the sole youth worker in a small church has run me headlong into a brick wall twice in the seven months I've been in this particular position in a very large church.
And we must all be lined up for the ministry to be as effective as possible.
So, in a nutshell, I need to get in line. I don't like hitting brick walls -- it makes my head hurt.
But, this means I need to shift my personal ministry paradigm. And that's were Romans 12:2 comes in.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
See, the 'pattern of this world' dictates standing up for one's rights, ideas, viewpoints. But that's not how things work in the Kingdom of God.
Now, I really and truly thought I understood submission to authority. And, in some areas, that's true. It's not difficult for me to see the difference between seeking my own way vs. seeking to serve. What tripped me up, and what I have just realized in the last week or so, is that I had problems submitting when the subject wasn't me but something I cared passionately about. It's not wanting *my* way at all, but wanting what's best for the area in which I'm serving that got me into trouble. That's a whole 'nother level of submission to authority. Because it goes beyond me to others. And, because we're standing in different places with different viewpoints, 'what's best' looks different.
So, what I have to do is move my viewpoint. Because I am under the leadership. This doesn't necessarily mean that I absolutely agree with it, but it does mean that I absolutely support it. (Disclaimer: we are not talking about differences in beliefs, only differences in methodology).
And that totally flies in the face of any kind of worldly notion of sense. But -- remember what I wrote last week? Romans 12:2 has a promise. That when we refuse to conform to the pattern of the world, we will be able to test and see what God's will is for that situation. So, to be able to test and approve what God's will is in this area, I need to make sure that my heart/mind is totally out of alignment with what the world/common sense viewpoint might be. Because God is able to make all things work together for good...even if I don't see it as 'good'. Ultimately, I am not the one responsible to set the direction...my leadership is. And, ultimately, I'm not the one responsible for the kingdom to be manifested in the areas in which I'm ministering -- God is.
What I am responsible for is to pray for my leadership...that God will lead and they will hear, then keep myself lined up with the vision they are implementing. Then I'm responsible to prayerfully fulfill my duties under their direction to the best of my ability and leave the rest to God.
The paradigm shift involves both changing my viewpoint AND not fussing about it. It's trusting God to work through methods that may not appear to be 'the best' to my intellect. Furthermore, I have to admit that what looks 'the best' to me may not really be 'the best' at all.
That works very well with the context of verse 2, following after the exhortation in verse 1 to offer your bodies as living sacrifices and preceding the instruction in verse 3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.
I honestly believe this is a test. Even a pretty basic test. One I'm determined to pass.
Because, you know, my head hurts. ;)
It is my perspective that is/was out of line. Not wrong, you understand, but not in line with the leadership I'm under. The paradigm that worked when I was the sole youth worker in a small church has run me headlong into a brick wall twice in the seven months I've been in this particular position in a very large church.
And we must all be lined up for the ministry to be as effective as possible.
So, in a nutshell, I need to get in line. I don't like hitting brick walls -- it makes my head hurt.
But, this means I need to shift my personal ministry paradigm. And that's were Romans 12:2 comes in.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will.
See, the 'pattern of this world' dictates standing up for one's rights, ideas, viewpoints. But that's not how things work in the Kingdom of God.
Now, I really and truly thought I understood submission to authority. And, in some areas, that's true. It's not difficult for me to see the difference between seeking my own way vs. seeking to serve. What tripped me up, and what I have just realized in the last week or so, is that I had problems submitting when the subject wasn't me but something I cared passionately about. It's not wanting *my* way at all, but wanting what's best for the area in which I'm serving that got me into trouble. That's a whole 'nother level of submission to authority. Because it goes beyond me to others. And, because we're standing in different places with different viewpoints, 'what's best' looks different.
So, what I have to do is move my viewpoint. Because I am under the leadership. This doesn't necessarily mean that I absolutely agree with it, but it does mean that I absolutely support it. (Disclaimer: we are not talking about differences in beliefs, only differences in methodology).
And that totally flies in the face of any kind of worldly notion of sense. But -- remember what I wrote last week? Romans 12:2 has a promise. That when we refuse to conform to the pattern of the world, we will be able to test and see what God's will is for that situation. So, to be able to test and approve what God's will is in this area, I need to make sure that my heart/mind is totally out of alignment with what the world/common sense viewpoint might be. Because God is able to make all things work together for good...even if I don't see it as 'good'. Ultimately, I am not the one responsible to set the direction...my leadership is. And, ultimately, I'm not the one responsible for the kingdom to be manifested in the areas in which I'm ministering -- God is.
What I am responsible for is to pray for my leadership...that God will lead and they will hear, then keep myself lined up with the vision they are implementing. Then I'm responsible to prayerfully fulfill my duties under their direction to the best of my ability and leave the rest to God.
The paradigm shift involves both changing my viewpoint AND not fussing about it. It's trusting God to work through methods that may not appear to be 'the best' to my intellect. Furthermore, I have to admit that what looks 'the best' to me may not really be 'the best' at all.
That works very well with the context of verse 2, following after the exhortation in verse 1 to offer your bodies as living sacrifices and preceding the instruction in verse 3 Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.
I honestly believe this is a test. Even a pretty basic test. One I'm determined to pass.
Because, you know, my head hurts. ;)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Quintessential Armor Bearer
I had a very recent reminder of how much our pastors carry with the vision of ministry...and how those of us who are part of that ministry need to come along side and 'hold up their arms', so that they can carry that vision.
And I heard in my spirit, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well!"
If you recognize those words, maybe you'll understand the head-smacking revelation I had as I realized Sam Gamgee is the perfect example of the armor bearer. He had not a shred of ambition for himself, but was totally motivated in all his actions by concern for the one in whose service he had been placed. Frodo's mission was Sam's mission; Sam understood that the quest was not about him at all. He did what needed to be done with such complete submission to the cause that he wasn't even conscious of his own self.
There's a lot for me to learn from Sam Gamgee. His one moment of temptation to step forward and proclaim himself Lord when Frodo had been captured and Sam, by virtue of his dedication to the task, had the ring, was quickly quelled by Sam's devotion to his master, his accurate assesment of himself, and his certainty that it was only a trick of the enemy and not a real possibility at all.
I need to remember that if I'm going to be a proper armor bearer in the house. And maybe The Lord of the Rings should be required reading for everyone in a ministry support position...with particular attention given to the character of Sam Gamgee.
And I heard in my spirit, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well!"
If you recognize those words, maybe you'll understand the head-smacking revelation I had as I realized Sam Gamgee is the perfect example of the armor bearer. He had not a shred of ambition for himself, but was totally motivated in all his actions by concern for the one in whose service he had been placed. Frodo's mission was Sam's mission; Sam understood that the quest was not about him at all. He did what needed to be done with such complete submission to the cause that he wasn't even conscious of his own self.
There's a lot for me to learn from Sam Gamgee. His one moment of temptation to step forward and proclaim himself Lord when Frodo had been captured and Sam, by virtue of his dedication to the task, had the ring, was quickly quelled by Sam's devotion to his master, his accurate assesment of himself, and his certainty that it was only a trick of the enemy and not a real possibility at all.
I need to remember that if I'm going to be a proper armor bearer in the house. And maybe The Lord of the Rings should be required reading for everyone in a ministry support position...with particular attention given to the character of Sam Gamgee.
Monday, March 2, 2009
One Door Closes, Another Opens.
Fresh starts.
That's a Jubilee thing.
And, ya know, I had a feeling this was the year for this particular change.
I didn't go hunting a job; I prayed for income. And the job sorta came to me.
So. After 23 years of being a SAHM, I filled out all the paperwork today and am now officially a part-time employee of my church, working in the accounting/human resources offices. Aside from my nervousness at having actual responsibilities outside the home, I'm finding myself much more melancholy about it than I expected.
It marks the end of an era. I'm suddenly wondering things like, 'Did I hug my kids enough when I had the chance?' Because I now have a title other than Mom.
I guess it really is a milestone of life; the return to work because the kids have grown enough that they don't need 24/7 parenting...and they're involved in things with, um, more expenses than just packages of diapers. (Note to self: The Actor's Production Fee is due tomorrow for the spring musical...).
Logistically, it's actually about perfect; I'll be working while the kids are in school, three days a week. I can shift the hours around as necessary for things like dentist/orthodontist appointments. So, as far as the kids know, things won't be too different. Actually, it's probably less time working at church than I put in when we're working on costumes for a dramatic production, so it shouldn't be so far out of the ordinary.
But the world feels different today. And I'm not really as excited about it as I thought I would be.
Once I figure out how it's all going to fit together, though, I think I'll be ok. There's just a lot to fit together.
Emotionally...psychologically...not to mention there are now three employed people living this household, and we only have two cars. *That's* going to take some creativity!
At least my co-workers are excited that I'm on board. Appreciation like that is a new thing, too... ;-)
That's a Jubilee thing.
And, ya know, I had a feeling this was the year for this particular change.
I didn't go hunting a job; I prayed for income. And the job sorta came to me.
So. After 23 years of being a SAHM, I filled out all the paperwork today and am now officially a part-time employee of my church, working in the accounting/human resources offices. Aside from my nervousness at having actual responsibilities outside the home, I'm finding myself much more melancholy about it than I expected.
It marks the end of an era. I'm suddenly wondering things like, 'Did I hug my kids enough when I had the chance?' Because I now have a title other than Mom.
I guess it really is a milestone of life; the return to work because the kids have grown enough that they don't need 24/7 parenting...and they're involved in things with, um, more expenses than just packages of diapers. (Note to self: The Actor's Production Fee is due tomorrow for the spring musical...).
Logistically, it's actually about perfect; I'll be working while the kids are in school, three days a week. I can shift the hours around as necessary for things like dentist/orthodontist appointments. So, as far as the kids know, things won't be too different. Actually, it's probably less time working at church than I put in when we're working on costumes for a dramatic production, so it shouldn't be so far out of the ordinary.
But the world feels different today. And I'm not really as excited about it as I thought I would be.
Once I figure out how it's all going to fit together, though, I think I'll be ok. There's just a lot to fit together.
Emotionally...psychologically...not to mention there are now three employed people living this household, and we only have two cars. *That's* going to take some creativity!
At least my co-workers are excited that I'm on board. Appreciation like that is a new thing, too... ;-)
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