Thursday, September 11, 2008

Blocked

The SHE Revolution Women's conference unofficially begins tonight with a session for leadership.

I am really, really needing it.

Not because I feel desperate for God...because I feel numb. Tired. Spiritually lethargic.

All the personal discipline I can muster can't seem to get over it.

Isn't that ironic, after studying out 'The Five B's' to prepare for the weekend? *Knowing* that I am Brave, Beautiful, Bold, Bride, and Becoming? Even with all the neat insight and new way of looking at those words that I found as I studied, it still felt more like an exercise in personal discipline. Maybe I was too focused on writing the study and not focused enough on applying it...ouch...

In our monthly night of worship last Sunday, I found myself really struggling to get to my 'secret place' of communion w/God. The imagery that came to me is humorous, but apt.

My kids play Nintendo video games from time to time; sometimes I get invited to play along...just to provide comic relief to everyone else. I seriously stink at those games.

You'd think someone who could manipulate fabric around a fast-moving needle or fast-moving needles/knives mechanism would have better eye-hand coordination than I do. But I digress.

In some of these games, there is a character that rather resembles a walking blue sponge....with a band-aid on his back side. I don't know what it's called in the world of video games, but he blocks the paths in some games and hinders progress in others.

The imagery that came to me is that my 'self' was blocking me...and my 'self' looked just like this obnoxious creature from the video game. Blocking the path and hindering my progress. I couldn't get past my 'self'.


Ok, I think I will just get my journal and look fresh at all those questions at the end of each of those '5 B's' lessons; time to see what's percolating in the 'self' that's blocking things up and needs a crucifixion.

As the conference starts early both tomorrow and Saturday, and runs all day into the evening, I probably won't post again until next week.

One way or another, this is going to be a good weekend.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Five B's : Conclusion

The Five 'B's' of a Godly Woman: A Blogged Bible Study

Syllabus:
July 29 -- Intro
Aug. 5 -- B1: Brave
Aug. 12 -- B2: Beautiful
Aug. 19 -- B3: Bold
Aug. 26 -- B4: Bride
Sept. 2 -- B5: Becoming
Sept. 9 -- Conclusion

...here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. -- Ecc. 12:13

The word 'conclusion' triggered the memory of that verse, and I decided to start today's discussion with it, more or less tongue-in-cheek. But as I was typing it out, a recurring theme from the last five weeks resonated, and, ya know, there may be something to this. Let me emphasize one bit:

...the conclusion of the matter: Fear God...

Did anyone else notice how often the notion of being afraid vs. fearing God cropped up? Not only in the discussion of bravery, but in the rest of them.

Let me do a little recap:

Brave: being afraid and doing it anyway

Beautiful: Fully mature, not pursuing false beauty, which is based on being afraid of the opinions of others, but pursuing God, who has made all things beautiful - Ecc. 3:11, and not giving in to fear

Bold: Filled with the Holy Spirit and not conscious of fear, operating in the grace of ability and the ability of grace...bravery grown up

Bride: Throwing off fear of intimate knowledge; allowing God to cleanse, anoint and dress us in preparation for the wedding feast...and what follows.

Becoming: Overcoming the fear of being 'too much and not enough' and resting in the knowledge of being 'appropriate for God to work on, suitable for Him to use,and in the proper place at this time'.

Everyone of those attributes has an aspect of fear that must be overcome. And we need all of those attributes to overcome fear. If we understood...really understood...that the Enemy's only weapon against us is fear, we would fight our battles differently.

I didn't really plan to do this, but then these things rarely go according to plan anyway, so... consider the story of David and Goliath. Or rather, consider Goliath of Gath (1 Samuel 17). Over 9 feet tall, armored in heavy bronze, and a 15-pound tip on his spear, he intimidated the entire army of Israel. For 40 days, the sight of him and the words he shouted immobilized Saul and everyone with him. Fear kept them from fighting.

Do you see that? Fear kept them from fighting!

Then along came David, who knew from experience that God delivers intimidating enemies into the hand of His servant, and he was not afraid.

The only weapon Goliath had a chance to use against David was fear...and David did not give in to fear. Instead, he knocked down the giant with what God put in his hand, and then killed the giant with the giant's own sword.

The weapon the enemy threatened to use was the weapon that took the enemy's head!

But it had to be wielded by one who was not afraid...and fear of Goliath's battle abilities was only one of the fears that David had to overcome. He had to also overcome:

-fear of being misunderstood...his own brother accused him of being conceited and evilly ambitious.

-fear of responsibility. If he failed, the entire nation would serve the Philistines. There was more than just David's life riding on this battle.

-Fear of man; he first had to convince the king that he was fit for fighting such an enemy, even though he was only a young man. He did not let Saul's position cow him into considering himself unable to carry out what God put in his heart, but persisted in stating his case until he received Saul's blessing to go.

-Fear of reprisal: he selected five stones, not because he thought the first stone would fail, but because Goliath had four brothers! He was ready.

David refused to give in to any of those fears; by refusing to give in to fear, he took the enemy's only real weapon from his hand and allowed God to give him a victory.

If we overcome fear, the battle is won before it is fought.

But...consider this:

All five 'B's are characteristics of what a daughter of the Most High King is, not characteristics of what she will be someday in the future. God has already declared us to be brave enough to overcome the fears of the flesh, beautiful and desirable to Him, bold in our spirits, hiding nothing from Him, and exactly right for what He purposes for us. Now.

The only delay in that is the time it takes us to get that truth into our spirits; the truth of who we are, not who we will become. What we will be is unknown...only that we will be like Him (1 John 3:2). Don't confuse what we are now, thinking we are less than that, with what we will be, thinking that what He has declared us to be is the goal ahead. There is a greater thing that we do not know, cannot understand, ahead of us.

So we need to be fully...right now...all that He has made us.

Closing thoughts What are the fears that hinder believing I am brave, beautiful, bold...His Bride, most becoming? Write them down; be honest with the Bridegroom...open, vulnerable. He will not reject or ridicule...but provide what is needed to overcome them. Allow the Spirit to discern when those fears are operating...and choose to overcome them.

And, now that we've kind of established a bit of groundwork, anyone who is in the area is invited to come to the SHE Revolution, which begins Friday morning, and Seek His Embrace....

Monday, September 8, 2008

Jubilee Monday #8: Retracing my Steps

Trying to remember...how did Jubilee become a Shiny Sink?

Oh, yes, it's because
Jubilee is for Rest
Real Rest is a discipline
I need to discipline my days for disciplined rest
Flylady has great suggestions for discipilining days and
She makes you start with a clean sink....

Anyway, I shined my sink on Labor Day...and it's stayed shiny all week. For me, that's Really Something.

And I *did* sign up for the emails. Day three of the Babysteps list was rather emphatic about signing up for the emails. But she did mention that she had dramatically cut down on the amount of emails that were going out on a daily basis, so I decided to give it a go and signed up for the Daily Digest. I can skim read that in just a couple of minutes, picking out the babysteps that I need to work on and letting the more advanced choreography go right on by.

Right now, I'm thrilled to maintain a clean sink. If I can maintain a clean something, then sooner or later it will spread.

Order will be restored to the house.

And that's a pretty good Jubilee thing. ;)

Friday, September 5, 2008

Flashback Friday #13 - Pass the Tomatoes

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I found this entry and just had to chuckle. God really is in the little things. It's dated August 18, 2003:

Tuesday, we worked on banners at the church. I'd decided to have BLTS [bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches] for supper and planned to stop at the farmer's market on my way home from church for fresh tomatoes. But we worked at church until nearly 2 and I had to get home and eat some lunch before taking [my two youngest kids] to the dentist. So I had to admit that I didn't have time to stop for tomatoes.
"Lord," I prayed as I pulled out of the parking lot, "Could you give us some tomatoes, please?"

When I got home, I called [My Sweet Baboo] to remind him to pick up [the two older kids], and he asked me if I'd gotten any tomatoes. I told him no and explained why.
"Well," he replied, "Somebody brought in tomatoes to give away and I thought I'd get some if you wanted me to."

!!!


Yes, we had BLTS that night! ;) God amazes me.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Fruit Inspection

I don't know if I passed or not.

I'm not going into details, because I'm GOING to get over it, but I will just say that sometimes what I think should happen, for one reason or another, doesn't always line up with what someone in authority over me thinks needs to happen.

And, when it comes down to it, I must submit properly to the authority...even if I don't agree.

That is a test. God does this. It's a growth opportunity; He's got it all planned out. The fact that what *I* think should happen has many wonderful reasons why it should happen, has nothing to do with anything. If it was important in the kingdom, God would see that it happened that way. If it doesn't, He will still see that the folks who needed 'my' solution will be taken care of.

The test is whether or not one can submit without complaining or getting a bad attitude.

Now, I did have to tell some people what was happening...plans had to change. But I'm not entirely sure I did it in the correct, uncomplaining spirit. Y'see, it's easy to recognize the morning after that it was a test...and I should not complain.

It's hard to be aware of that in the midst of the struggle.

I'd probably give myself a C+, all things considered. Passing, but with lots of room for improvement....

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Five 'B's': Becoming

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

The Five 'B's' of a Godly Woman: A Blogged Bible Study

Syllabus:
July 29 -- Intro
Aug. 5 -- B1: Brave
Aug. 12 -- B2: Beautiful
Aug. 19 -- B3: Bold
Aug. 26 -- B4: Bride
Sept. 2 -- B5: Becoming
Sept. 9 -- Conclusion

A Godly Woman is...Becoming


Ya never know what the dictionary might say... here's what my American Heritage has to say for Becoming:
(adj)1) Appropriate; suitable; proper
2) Pleasing or attractive to the eye.

I have to go up a bit in the word list to become to find what I expected...the intransitive verb which is defined 'to grow or come to be'.

Perhaps there's a lesson there.

I have been mentally laying out my discussion for this lesson for a couple of days; all centered around the idea that 'becoming' basically means changing, growing, morphing. The verses I planned to use included things like 2 Corinthians 3:18...And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

And -- I'm being honest -- I was kind of resigned to the notion that I really wouldn't find anything *new* to say, no fresh revelation. Haven't we all been told, often, how God is in the process of remaking us? From even simple children's songs.. He's still workin' on me, to make me what I ought to be... to T shirt slogans; PBPWMGNFWMY (Please be patient with me, God's not finished with me yet) to posters (I have one with a cute kitten picture on the wall in my Jr. High Girl's Friends Club room that declares: God loves me the way I am, and too much to let me stay that way.)

I did think for a moment about 'becoming' as being attractive, flattering, as in that color is so becoming to you! and thought I could slip that in the study, but to find that becoming (adj) is defined as appropriate, suitable and proper was something of a surprise.

And, to be perfectly clear, I really believe the verb was the intention in our lesson on the Five B's back in July, which was the inspiration for this study.

But perhaps there is something God wants to say to us now about 'becoming' that is new and unexpected.

One of my recent 'Wow' books is Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. I realize there are very varied opinions about it, but there is a profound statement on pages six and seven (and, no, I am not going to turn this into a study of the book; Stasi says something I need to quote): I know I am not alone in this nagging sense of not being good enough as a woman. Every woman I've ever met feels it -- something deeper than just the sense of failing at what she does. An underlying, gut feeling at failing at who she is. I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time.

That feeling like I'm 'too much and not enough' has plagued me for most of my life. That is just the best description of it.

But, what if a Godly woman really is 'becoming'...the adjective? Then I find that I am neither too much nor not enough, but appropriate, suitable, proper.

To quote Goldilocks, 'Just right!'

Ok, I realize that this could be heading off into dangerous ground. Ground that says I'm just fine as I am, thank you, and I don't need to change anything about me. Ground that really does away with those Scriptures about changing. And that's not what 'becoming' should mean at all. Yes, we are being changed from glory to glory. Yes, we are being conformed to the likeness of Jesus. We are a fallen people in a fallen world and we must be renewed and transformed. The Bible is very clear on that!

But, what I think we do sometimes is allow the Enemy to convince us that we are not worth God's time, God's effort, God's love. We are too much sinner and not enough saint for Him to bless us, or be concerned with us, or answer our prayers. That, my beloved friend who's stuck with me this far today, is a lie that must be recognized and dealt with.

The key is...who is doing the transforming? Am I trying to transform myself so that God will accept me? If I am, then the word I need to know is that I am BECOMING. I need to know that I am appropriate, suitable, proper. Appropriate for God to work on, suitable for Him to use, and in the proper place at this point in my life. Once I know those things, then it ceases to be me doing the work and simply becomes me being receptive to His work. Allowing him to prune those things that are too much and cultivate those things that are not enough.

When we submit to His process, then we truly are becoming...both the verb and the adjective.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Cor. 5:17

...put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Eph. 4:24

For you were once darkness,but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Eph. 5: 8 - 10

But now, he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation. Col. 1:22

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil. 1:6


Closing thoughts: How have I allowed my need to grow and change to become an obstacle for believing God loves me and accepts me as I am now? In what ways do I limit God from acting in my life because I believe I am 'too much' and 'not enough'?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Jubilee Monday #7: Shine the Sink

Ok, I didn't sign up for Flylady like I said I would. I've heard about the incredible volume of emails that come along with signing up for flylady...and Lord knows I spend too much time on the computer already.

So, instead I bookmarked the Babysteps Page. That will tell me what to do well enough, I think.

I know the secret to maintaining any kind of order and discipline in life is to have good habits; I don't wanna do the work to change my freewheeling, inefficient lifestyle but I need to. So I'm gonna start with the babysteps.

This is for rest, right? Um, right...ultimately, it will allow for some disciplined rest.

I wonder how long it's gonna take me to get there.