Friday, March 6, 2015

Lies the Enemy Tells Me # 4: 'You're on your own here.'

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

(Part 2 of the ruminations on Hagar)

This is a lie the enemy has been telling me for years and years.  Ever since I first found myself in a position of leadership...and that goes back to High School youth group.

It's a twist on something that IS true...leaders carry more responsibility, just because they are leaders.  One or two missteps, misspoken words,  even giving the appearance of not caring about something can cause a train wreck of hurt feelings, misunderstandings, offense...sometimes it goes beyond anything that can be repaired by anything other than the work of the Holy Spirit.

And if you've been hanging around Beer Lahai Roi for long, you know that even in the relatively short seveninsh years I've been here I've had my share of blunders.

So somewhere back there the true fact that leaders are under stricter scrutiny twisted itself into the lie that I have to carry all my wounds myself; I have to be the strong one who is not offended; I have to be the perfect example of how to handle the punches and twists that are part of living on a planet full of humans... lest I cast any kind of negative reflections of the church I'm in, the ministry I serve, or the Lord himself on folks who are looking to me as a leader and teacher.

It wasn't the 'I don't need anybody' was 'I can't admit to needing anybody.'

This is a hard one to counteract, because it lives right next door to the truth. Hit it too hard and it will ricochet off the truth and make a bigger mess.  This one has to be gently extracted.

And 'gentle' ain't my long suit.

The discussion of Hagar last month pointed out that Hagar carried her sorrows herself.  She had no one to take them to, no one to give her counsel and perspective.  This, the teaching indicated, was a large part of her problem.  She didn't even really go to God with her problems...she went into the desert and He came to her.  She obeyed what He said, but her heart didn't change.

Because issues that get stuffed, that are denied, that are not healed, always cause bigger problems later.

In the service that night, we all repeated to each other 'I need you.'

I need you to keep me accountable, I need you to keep me on track, I need you to pray for me when I don't know what to pray for myself, I need you to help me stand when I feel too weak.

I need you to remind me that I am not on my own.

And, of course, I'm not on my own.  I'm at the well of the One Who Sees Me, so I am not alone....but thinking that I don't dare share with anyone else, because it will reflect badly on Him...that's a lie.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed - James 5:16a, NASB

Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed - James 5:16a, MSG

No comments:

Post a Comment