What's My Motive?

 Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

(The back cover of the journal I customized at DIVE in 2014...that I use to record original song lyrics and other poetic stuff...)

One of my Blogging Buddies (and former BSF Teaching Leader), Suzanne Matthews, recently posted a question:

What Bible verse or quote impacted your life in 2017?

When I first read that, I paused, but came up with a blank.  I couldn't really think of one that stood out.

But, as these things go, one verse that caught my attention last year has resurfaced again and again in the time since I first read that question.

How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?  - Jn 5:44

I've just started reading David Binon's book The Invisible Worshiper, and, even though he hasn't mentioned that verse (at least not in the first two chapters, lol), I keep hearing that question over and over again.

Am I making an effort to obtain the praise that comes only from God...or am I looking for approval/praise from other people?

See, at the turning of the year I have become keenly aware that my creative self has all but shut down.  Oh, I'm puttering away here and there, but there's nothing consistent.  The urgency that had me writing even just three years ago has pretty much evaporated.  I sit down to write and...nothing.

I'll be honest; a lot of the reason I found myself floundering to write/create is...it went nowhere.  I began to feel like I was spending a lot of energy...not just creating, but anticipating and hoping that the work was worth doing, could make a difference...and, by and large, it was met with a 'Oh, that's nice.'...and then, nothing.

Case in point...not meant to be a complaint or a whine, just a statement of fact...I went back and counted the comments I've gotten on the blog in the past year.  Not counting my own...seven.

I shouldn't have counted.    Am I trying to gain the praise that comes from God...or praise from people?

I pulled out my songwriting notebook and read through some of the lyrics.  And I honestly think at least some of them are good.  But my attempts to turn them into something have just hit brick wall after brick wall.  So I'm pretty sure turning them into something isn't my calling.

That's trying to get praise from people, right?

Then... the Passion and Purpose post challenged me...I realized that another reason my creative unction had failed was that I failed to spend time in the presence of the Creator.  He is the SOURCE.

A wee bit squeezed in here and there ain't gonna cut it.  Not if I want to move forward.

I had given up on writing because it was going nowhere.  And I'd stopped spending quality time with God because the creativity that came from those meetings drove me to write...but the writing was going nowhere.

Looking for praise from people ultimately shuts down not only the output of creative but closes off the source of creative.

Ya'll, I am having my clock cleaned good at the start of the year.

So here's a paradigm shift...a challenge for 2018...become a person who seeks to please God...