To silly to sleep

So it's 12:30 AM and I just finished playing a game of Apples to Apples with three of my high school girls club girls, who are having a sleepover chez nous to ostensibly work on their club requirements so they can get their awards at the end of the summer.  I think they have actually done just a little bit of work but mostly they're just doing girl stuff.

Anyway, the computer got left on when I left it to join them and when I returned I clicked on the wrong button and the bloglovin' feed came up.  I kinda automatically clicked through to one of the first posts and found myself challenged to list some things I learned in June.

And because I'm silly-sleepy I'm writing an answer instead of clicking the correct button and shutting things down so that I, if not the girls, will get a little sleep tonight.

So my first thought upon seeing the question was, 'Gee, I'm just in head-down-and-work mode.   I haven't had time to learn anything!'

Then I thought of a couple things.

Firstly, migrating a data base is hard work.  There's a lot to learn.  So I really AM learning a lot of stuff.  Brain stretching and paradigm shifting.  If learning new things keeps you young, then at the rate I'm going on this stuff I should start going backwards soon.  But that's not really I'm-growing-as-a-person kind of learning, and I think that's really what the challenge was about.

I've also learned that I am not very good at communicating technical things.  Somehow I manage to convolute it all up.  I could call it job security, I suppose, because the standard response is, 'Wow, you are the person for that job!  I can't believe you really CARE about all those details!'

Which means that I really am not explaining the lack of grace that is part and parcel of a data base.  In stage costuming, if a detail isn't seen from 10 feet away, it's not there.  Details don't matter.  But this is a data base and the data base only knows what it is precisely told.  It's not me that needs the details...it's the computer. And the computer doesn't explain, doesn't excuse, doesn't care.

So put that in the 'need to learn' option.

But I've also learned I'm really not in this alone.  I have been encouraged by more than one of our pastors to MAKE SURE I take some time off to get away this summer.  Pastor Mom -- she and her husband are, among other things, the Senior Adult pastors --  stopped by my office yesterday as I was rubbing my computer weary eyes, hugged me with the kind of hug that you give to someone who NEEDS a hug, and spent a couple of minutes encouraging me in my efforts.

Which was really sweet and touched me deeply, but beyond what she did I realized that Someone is using the folks around me to keep me from getting discouraged and cynical about how much there is to do, even when I'm on the edge of being overwhelmed.   It helps to know that there are folks who notice that I really am trying to do my best here...because they're noticing because He notices.

I'm doing a pitiful wee-hours explanation of something that I couldn't really articulate even in the broad daylight, but suddenly I realized that God has got my back on this.

And that's a pretty big growing-as-a-person kind of thing.

A little i dotting and t crossing....

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I finally figured out why so many have posted that they are  "claiming my blog on Bloglovin' "...it's so they can see the stats of who is using that reader to follow them.

I don't have to post that for folks to follow me; but I DO have to post that little promotional link for me to 'claim' my blog and see if anyone comes by here via their service.

To be honest, I'm not sure I really like using that site myself;  the little synopsis it offers of each post is not necessarily enough for me to decide if I want to read it or not, so it's been way to easy to get in 'skim' mode and miss something I like. And the 'frame' interferes w/commenting (you can click the X in the 'frame' to get rid of it, I've learned).

Plus, they have 'sponsored posts'...as near as I can tell, that's advertising...stuck in the feed now and then. Until I figured out what was going on,   I'd sit and stare at the  link trying to figure out who I 'followed' that would post such a thing.  Now it doesn't throw me, just annoys me.

But it is a reasonable alternative to the down-to-mere-hours-of-life-left Google Reader, so it's here to make it easy for folks to link up if they like.

And fulfilling my obligation to post the link on my blog. ;-) 

Morning Chuckle

Posted By Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Sometimes a really creepy dream has almost a funny meaning...

Last night I dreamed I was in an old...barn, house or basement, not sure which.  It was dark, dusty and cluttered up and I had a flashlight that I was using to hunt for something.

At one point, I thought I heard scampering of rodents, then I was sure I didn't, then I thought I did again...anyway, I swung the flashlight around a couple of times and froze when they lit up a pair of teeny glowing red eyes looking at me.

Wherever-I-was, there were rats.

However, before I could really react, I found that there were a couple of people there, too,...confused, lost, hungry and exhausted.  I had to get the folks out of there before we could deal with the rats.

I woke up feeling rather creepy...then suddenly I realized what the dream was about and had to laugh.

We are migrating our data base at church from one software company to another and I am the one primarily responsible for it.  I've been frantically cleaning out old useless records...but every once in a while I will hit  a valid record amongst the list of messed up ones, so I can't just delete all of the old records.

Yes, the old barn was the data base...the rats are the old, useless records and the confused folks are the good records with the errors.

So plain.  :-)

Looking for the Fueling Wing...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I've sat down to the computer to write a post about 4 times in the last two days and did nothing but stare at a blank screen before closing it out.

I am poured out at the moment and can't seem to find any opportunity to refill.

See, we are migrating our data base at work and I am frantically trying to wrap my brain around the new system before it goes live.  I told more than one person today that I feel like I'm getting an Associate's Degree in 4 weeks.

So. Much. To. Learn.

So consequently anything that flittered around my brain as being a possible blog post sounded either worn out or whiny.

Neither of which makes for good content.

Yet, it is the simple truth that sometimes life is running full open and there's nothing you can do but try to keep up.  It happens to everyone at some point...usually again and again, in different ways.

I'm reminded of the refueling planes we often see doing training flights at the old, semi-decommissioned Grissom Air Base when we are driving through north central Indiana on our trips to see family.

What a concept...a plane on a mission in enemy territory gets refueled as it is flying.  It doesn't stop and land...it keeps heading towards the mission objective.

I'll tell ya what, that'll preach.

I don't need to be looking for a place to land and rest, but I need to look up to see the refreshing coming as I keep headed toward the goal...

If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides - 1 Pet. 4:11

SSMT Verse 12 - Prov. 31:8 - 9

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

It's 11:57 PM; I am just squeaking this in tonight...

Can you believe we are halfway through?  Unbelievable.

I actually had another verse picked out.  One that made me squirm under the discomfort of conviction just a little.  But I wanted to verify the reference, and as I was flipping through the Bible on my way  to just make sure that was right, I came across another verse and I had to switch.

So, instead of the other, this week's verse is Prov. 31: 8 - 9.  The verses that come right before the Wife of a Noble Character.

Earlier this week, I came across a blog post about the gendercide that is happening on a global basis and was really grieved.  But, like most folks, I don't know what to do about the grief.

Somehow, this speaks to that....

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

I think I am too guilty of allowing myself to feel too small.  I don't know what difference I can make...but maybe even just a little difference is enough....

I will go and look...

I am soooo not an artist; never could get what I saw in my head to come out of my crayons or charcoal or paintbrush or whatever.

Yet spontaneous painting is often used as a form of worship, particularly in girl's/women's events at our church.  I really struggled with the last time I participated in one of the painting sessions (and I still need to put some tail feathers on that poor bird!)

And tonight I found myself at another mother/daughter event at which the paints were out.  We were encouraged to paint graphics reflecting 'Big Dreams'.

I pulled out the little NKJV Bible I'd tossed in my bag before I left the house, thinking I'd do something with the most recent SSMT verse...y'know, the one I'm supposed to be memorizing.

Could NOT remember the reference.  Wasn't sure I had the verse good enough.  Looked and looked through Psalms, but, since I'm using one of the auxiliary Bibles, I couldn't find it.  It was, after all, a different translation.

But the clock was ticking (we only had about 30 minutes to paint) and a plate with four blobs of paint....hot pink, royal blue, neon green and bright yellow...appeared at my table, along with a sheet of 'canvassy' paper.

I mixed some of the pink and yellow together and swirled some onto the page, not really sure what would happen or where I was going.

Back in the day, we used to watch Bob Ross paint a fabulous picture in 30 minutes every Saturday (he was back-to-back w/ 'Sewing with Nancy').  I was amazed at how he just made the picture appear.  "The bushes live in your brush,' he'd say.  It looked like magic to me.

But as I swirled that bit of paint onto the page, suddenly I saw a whole picture.  And instead of struggling as I did last time, the picture...well, graphic...seemed to leap off my brush.

I had to bring it home to finish it, as I couldn't put the words on until it was dry, but, yeah, talk abut a big God dream...

  Moses had given up on the dream of freeing his people.  But there, at the burning bush, it was revived.

Part of the prayer my pastor friend prayed over me Saturday was that God would bring about the dreams I'd given up on.

I can't revive a dead dream.  But I can take off my shoes and listen when He begins to speak of it.

Siesta Scripture Memory Team Verse 11 - Ps 38:9

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

We had a worship workshop today...all the worship teams from all the campuses came together for some group instruction and fellowship time.  I'd been looking forward to it; we were out of town and missed the last one.

I got more than I expected.

We began with worship, which was appropriate, and ended the worship with a time of prayer.  I could see what was coming; that our pastor was going to ask folks who were in the middle of tough circumstances to raise their hands, and for everyone else to gather round those folks and pray for them.  To be honest, I found my spirit kind of cringing. 'I don't have anything to offer anyone today,' I thought.

And heard an answer in my spirit, "Then that means you are one who should raise your hand."

That surprised me; we have had some rough moments, particularly in the parenting area, in the last few months, but nothing was in crisis mode now.  I didn't see myself as standing particularly in need of urgent prayer to make it through.

But in the next few moments, I saw multiple areas which were either a source of stress, something in which I am really needing direction or something that is grieving my spirit.  Each one, in and of itself, wasn't a big deal, but taken all together...well, it's no wonder I didn't feel like I could really minister to anyone.  I realized I was just plain tired in my spirit.

So, ok, I will be obedient.  I raised my hand.

And I expected my nearby fellow choir folks to come round, put their hands on my shoulders, and pray quietly for me, or pray fairly standard prayers of encouragement.

Which really would have been fine.  As I said, I didn't really feel like I was in a crisis of any kind; just tired.

But one of our campus pastors came to me and began to pray specific things...some which really could've applied to any number of folks, but she prayed for one area that was so specific that it could not have been random.  She spoke to a request that I have been putting before God for...well, a really long time, although I haven't brought it up often.  I  never even hinted at this request to anyone.

And she said that God was sending the answer; that I am to walk in expectation for it to come soon.

I fell apart.

Not because the request and its answer is such a big deal...but because it was secret and highly specific.  And I was reminded again that God really and truly knows me and hears my heart.

Today's SSMT Verse:

All my longings lie open before you, O LORD; my  sighing is not hidden from you.  Ps. 38:9 NIV84