Jubilee Monday #9: Confirmation

I sat down with my journal after Thursday's post on feeling blocked...numb...and asked God what was going on.

I was surprised and kind of scared by what I heard in my spirit in response:

This is a symptom of burnout

My Sweet Baboo and I have both heard many warnings about burning out. Yes, we do a lot of things. Yes, it gets stressful at times. People have cautioned us against letting ourselves burn out.

And we have dropped some things in order to relieve a little stress. But, as I talked about it to Ranger Senior Commander (he of the Pirate Costume project), I told him I could not look at a roomful of kids and say "I need some time off. Someone else will have to teach you."

This is a class that, from the time the program started in our church 7ish years ago, has YET to have one teacher with them for the entire three years they are in the class. How can we expect the kids to be committed if the adults teaching them are not?

Mostly, the stuff we do, we do because we love it. To NOT do it would be really sad. But SEVERAL times during the conference over the past weekend I received confirmation...in small ways and kind of big ways, all surprising and unexpected...that I'm supposed to get some rest.

I was just kind of looking at disciplined rest as a Jubilee thing...now I think it's really supposed to be a God thing.

However, I'm not sure rest means 'sit down'. Somehow, there must be a way to 'rest on the way'...break the pressure up some so that it's not so wearying, but still keep going. There are many people who are under greater stresses than we are. If stepping down would mean new people could step up, it would be one thing. But, unless there are folks hiding in the wings, stepping down would just mean increasing the load for others.

And, in some cases, stepping down would mean letting kids down. Again.

Not gonna do that.

I'm not sure what I really need to do (or not do).

I do know one thing I can decide for a start...I do not think I will let myself take on any new outside the house projects for at least the next month.

Beyond that, well, I'm just going to have to listen for the next step.