Sunday, February 19, 2012

Invisiblity, part...3? The Facepalm...

Isn't weird how sometimes things that are so obvious take so long to register? 

Somehow, I have been reflecting over my current position(s) teaching the Girl's Ministry classes...and how long I resisted the pull to do that.  I'm thinking it was at least two years, and even when it became obvious that I was going to be teaching for at least a while, I prayed that God would send someone I could train to do it so I could get on with other stuff.  It took a pretty blatant word from Him before I recognized that it was, indeed, what I was supposed to do.

Do you know what my resistance was?  I had this gut feeling that if I went back to the Girls Ministries hallway I'd disappear.  Drop off the face of the church at large.  Go back there and never come out.

Become invisible.

And I didn't want that.  I didn't want to disappear.  I wanted to be Involved with The Main Thing...whatever that was.  I wanted...Credibility. 

It has only been lately; literally, during the fast, that I put that up against the word I had when we first got involved with this church that I was to be 'invisible' and realized that this was really what I was intended to do all along.

I just didn't get it.  I don't think I wanted to get it.  How else could I have missed it?

Now, of course, it is so obvious.  How could I have been so dull?

Because I wanted MY definition of invisibility...freedom to take a break, not be involved, not be responsible.  And I only wanted it for a season, while we caught our breath, found our feet, got refreshed.  Then I wanted to be visible again.  Doing.  Something that 'mattered'.

As if teaching young ladies didn't matter.  What a doofus.

There really is nothing that matters more than teaching young folks...getting them grounded and founded in truth.  It is the most influential position in the church...any church.  Let me tell you, that has been a paradigm shift for me.

Now I don' t know if I could leave.  For all its frustrations, this is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

Invisibility and all. ;-)

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