Beaned by a Nugget

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I debated for a while about whether or to make this a blog post or a Facebook note, but after reading Sarah's post, I decided to go ahead and put it out there for everyone.

A friend at church recommended Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book Love & Respect, and just before Christmas My Sweet Baboo picked up a copy and began reading it. It's been sitting by his easy chair pretty much since then and on a whim I picked it up last week and began reading.

My initial reaction was that Dr. E. says the same things I have heard before, only in different words. But...y'know, those different words can make a difference. The message got in a little deeper because of his emphasis on a husband's deep need for his wife's respect. Not such a very different concept from what I've heard for ages about appreciating him, encouraging him, etc...but 'respect' seems to nail down something that the other words dance around.

And he is right...it is absolutely essential.

I think I knew that even as a teenager, when I joked that I wouldn't marry anyone who couldn't beat me at chess. My stated reason was that if I was going to be partnered with someone for life, it'd better be someone who could improve my chess game...but, y'know, deep down, the real reason was that I knew I needed someone that I could respect.

It's a rather amusing coincidence that My Sweet Baboo did indeed maneuver my king into checkmate the first time we played.

Now, there are areas in which I have slipped up and we've had our rocky moments, but overall my husband is a man that I deeply respect. To my discredit, I just don't always remember to tell him that.

But...the nugget that beaned me was a little bit about the passage in Titus 2 in which Paul directs Timothy to encourage the older women to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. I've taught this passage before, but never did I bother to look up which Greek word is translated 'love'. It was pretty obvious to me; since virtually all marriages were arranged in that day, a woman wouldn't go into a marriage in love with the man she married...she'd have to learn it. If you had asked me, my top-off-my-head guess would've been agape (sacrificial love) or maybe even the more obvious er* os (physical love, and hopefully that little asterisk and space will keep me out of internet searches...). But Dr. Eggerichs points out that the word there is based on phileo...brotherly love, friendship. Astonished, I pulled out the reference Bibles and concordances and...he's right. Suddenly, a lot of little puzzle pieces fell into place.

A wife really does need to be her hubby's best friend. Or maybe a better way of putting it would be that a man needs his wife to be his best friend.

So...I need to remind my best friend that he is someone that I deeply respect.

On a regular basis. ;)

[Thanks to Sarah for making this post 'A Good Thing'!]