Drinking Coffee Again

I've referred, once or twice, to a dream of mine that's been on hold for a while.  Last year, it looked like it might be time for it to come out into the light of day and, well, be something.

So I sent a text message  (or an email, I honestly don't remember which) to the person I needed to speak to about it, offering to to buy coffee for us both to sit down and have a chit-chat.

As I hit send, I heard a paraphrase in my spirit.  Remember Jesus telling his disciples that he wouldn't drink wine again until He drinks it new, in the kingdom with them all?  Well, I heard 'Don't drink coffee again until you drink it at that meeting.'

So, ok, I knew the summer was a busy one so I figured it be a month or two.  But before much time had passed, there were developments in other areas and it became evident that the opportunity for the dream to come out was not going to happen at that time at all.

So I debated my little coffee fast.  And I decided that the fast wasn't for that one opportunity, but to get a resolution to the questions I have about that dream.  Is it a God dream?  Have I heard aright, or have I been fooling myself? These questions have really been plaguing me.

So I decided to keep up the fast until I had the chance to present the dream.

Now, I don't want you to think coffee didn't pass my lips during the fast; I don't think fasting on a feast day is appropriate, so I did break the fast on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.  But the rest of the time, when I wanted a cup of coffee or I walked by a brewing pot and it smelled so good, that was my cue to pray.

I didn't pray heavily anointed, passionate prayers.  Mostly, my prayer was, 'Lord, You know.'

It was a year to the day.  We'd had meetings scheduled, but things happened and they got postponed.  Which was fine; I didn't want to rush it.  When the meeting finally came about, and I was in Starbucks buying two lattes, extra hot,   I had the oddest feeling.  Part of me really didn't want to go there; I was FINE just praying and not drinking coffee, because as long as I was at that point, there was the possibility that it might be a real, God dream.

But once it really comes out into the light, then the judgment is coming.  And it might turn out that I have been distracted, self centered, elitist...whatever...and the dream was not from God at all but a product of my own ego.  And I really saw that in the meeting.  I could be wrong.  And if that's the outcome, then that's it.  Move on.

But, you know what the coffee fast did?  It gave my dream some credibility.  I know that it is honestly being considered; I know if it doesn't go anywhere, it is not because I didn't try or because I missed something somewhere.  If it doesn't go anywhere...it's because it's not supposed to.

So, now, I'm enjoying my morning cup again.  Strong, sweet, creamy.  And every time I pour a cup, I find myself praying, 'Lord, You know!'