Helping with the Research

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

Lysa TerKeurst has asked for input for her upcoming book. Technically, these questions were supposed to be answered in her comments, but, well, I didn't want to fill up a whole comments page by myself...

How would you define unglued?

I'm going to define it this way:Unglued-- losing the restraints that keep one's behavior reasonable and acceptable to oneself and/or one's peers

What does coming unglued look like for you?
For me, there are degrees of 'unglued'...sometimes it's a full-fledged raging temper tantrum (usually involving repeated irresponsibility or disobedience on the part of one or more of my children), but more commonly it's a word unfitly spoken, devoid of grace or empathy when I feel I've been judged, unappreciated or marginalized.

What factors contribute to you feeling unglued?
Fatigue, being taken by (unpleasant) surprise, being pressed for time or pressured into agreeing to something I do not feel I've had time to process and think through. Frustration at not being heard. Particularly if several of those conditions occur at the same time.

Do you tend to explode or stuff? I rarely explode anymore; I am learning better ways of handling the bad stuff. But when I do explode, it's a doozy that leaves me feeling like a humiliated failure. Mostly, now, I stuff. Stuffing is not necessarily bad if it can be worked through at a later time, but if it isn't dealt with it will become fodder for the explosion.

What would you want to make sure I cover in a book like this? How to repair the damage after the glue has failed...I have a hard time getting back to comfortable around folks to whom I have exposed my less admirable traits.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?
There is some small comfort in knowing that we all mess up from time to time, but it doesn't really help alleviate the humiliation of having to own my character flaws in front of other people. Thank God for those mercies that are new every morning...