Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Value in a Journal

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

I have been a very sporadic journalist...as in, one who records thoughts and feelings and events in a journal, not as a published writer...for nearly 30 years.  Much of the early journaling was really pitiful childish whining that makes me cringe now to read it...all the more that I was a married adult when I was writing it.

But over time, something changed  Now, there are journal entries that I read fresh, since I can not remember writing them, and they speak to me now.  I guess it's because it's not enough for me to hear the lesson one time; I have to hear it and hear it and hear it and HEAR IT before it gets lodged into who I am and actually begins to take root and make a difference.

So, there are times when I am in a dry patch, feeling dull of ear and spirit.  I sit down and almost don't even have the gumption to go to God and ask for a revelation; weighed down with busy-ness, or weariness or woundedness or just plain laziness...but I can flip open a journal or read an old blog entry and suddenly the revelation that came however long ago breaks on me once more and cuts through the sludgey muck and brings a fresh touch from the Father.

Oh, there is still much whiney mush in the mix, but every now and then there is something that is worth reading.  And I find myself thinking, 'Wow, I'm not writing anything nearly this good now. Have I slipped?  Am I losing my discipline?'

But today I found just such a passage, written when I was at a very low point but on a retreat where I *had* to face the pain and deal with it.  And I remember feeling then that I had not been writing up to my previous standard.

Yet those very words written then jumped off the page and spoke to me today.  It WAS worth writing...even though I didn't recognize it at the time...

...If you truly come into fullness of fellowship with [the Father], the accidental -- even the intentional-- wounds inflicted upon you by others will be in dead flesh that feels nothing.  Part of the reason for crucifying the flesh  is so that it no longer has the ability to feel pain.

Crucifixion is a long, painful death.  Too many times you nail the flesh to the cross, but take it down before it is fully dead.  IT doesn't revive on its own...YOU revive it.

...the fit your flesh is throwing is because it wants off the cross and back in control. You have a choice: Will you let if off of the cross or will you renounce it?

Will I let my flesh off of the cross or will I renounce it?  Wow...yes, that's definitely a challenge and a question for the moment...

Monday, April 15, 2013

Verse 8 - John 11:40

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

It's been a rough week.   My Sweet Baboo doesn't do a lot of traveling with his job, but when he is gone life gets more stressful, just because he's gone.

Add to that the craziness of tech week preceding the high school musical's opening night, unexpected deadlines and bad weather and, oh yes, a nasty digestive virus, along with ongoing issues on many fronts that still are not approaching resolution and, well, as I said, it's been a tough week.

It's easy to get dejected and whiny and even anxious and worried.  So maybe I shouldn't be surprised at the verse that stood out to me as the next Siesta Scritpure Memory Team verse while I was reading John today; another one from the 'familiar but never really memorized' classification:

Then Jesus said, 'Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?'  -- John 11:40, NIV 84

If I believed....

Sometimes I wonder how deep my believing really goes.  On the one hand, what else is there to put my faith in?  If  God is not trustworthy, then there is no such thing as hope.  On the other hand, if God is trustworthy, then why do I stress over things I cannot change?  Why do I try to influence or manipulate things to an outcome that makes me comfortable?  Where is my faith?

I believe.  Help my unbelief...I want to see the glory of God, not what my own limited vision wants to see...

Monday, April 1, 2013

Verse 7 - Ephesians 2:10

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

So.  April 1st already....and, which means that it's time for the SSMT Verse 7.  This is one from the 'really familiar but never officially memorized' list... not sure why this is the one that set off the bells and whistles when I read it this morning, but I'm sure there's a reason...

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God created in advance for us to do -  Ephesians 2:10, NIV 84  

Maybe I just needed to remind myself that it's really not about me...