Sunday, May 10, 2015

On Being a Mom...

Posted by Lisa Laree to Beer Lahai Roi

This Mother's Day finds me thinking more about being a mom myself than years past; I'm not sure why, other than the youngest graduated from high school last year, so, in theory, the bulk of my parenting years are well behind me.

I commented to someone once when the older kids were still young that I kinda missed being a student.  If you're a student, you learn material, you do the work, you study for the tests, you get a grade.  Pretty immediate feedback on the effort; you know fairly quickly if you did well or if you failed.

But parenting is different.  With parenting, you don't know if you did it right for something like 20 years.  And you only get one shot at it. No do-overs.

We  have great kids.  They are wonderful people.  But somehow I have the feeling that if we had done things better, were better parents, they would make choices that would make their lives easier.   Maybe we should've been stricter regarding video games; maybe I should've stopped what I was doing and played with them more when they were little.  Maybe if I had been a more organized mom, the kids would not struggle with disorganization.  Maybe if we had been parents who tucked in and sang songs and said prayers every night,  we would have prepared them better somehow to recognize their dreams and follow their passion.  Maybe if I hadn't lost my temper that time or that time or that time or that time...or maybe if we had done this or not done that...we'd've been 'A+' parents who gave their kids what they needed to go out and set goals and achieve them.

It's funny...I know that we had to have done things right, because the kids are great people who have (so far, anyway) not made life-crippling choices.  But I do see some struggles to establish themselves, and I wonder if we failed them somehow, made life more difficult for them.

And you know...I kinda suspect that this self-doubt is something that plagues most parents of young adults.  Because we did the best we knew how to do, and yet, somehow, feel like it wasn't good enough.

But God.

It is God who put in those kids their particular mix of gifts and talents and then put them in my house to raise.  I kinda have to assume that He knew what He was doing, even if I didn't.  And He has endless stores of grace to make up for where I fell short.  AND...He has a greater interest in my kids living out their destiny than I do.

And He has plans for them...plans to prosper them and not to harm them, to give them a hope and a future.  He created their inmost being, and He does all things well. They are His workmanship, created to do specific things that He prepared beforehand.

So...I need to give over all my doubts and insecurities and inadequacies and foul-ups and goof-ups and parenting mistakes  and let God redeem them all.  It would be pretty prideful thinking to believe that I could mess something up beyond God's ability to resurrect and restore it to what He originally intended.

If they will follow Him, it is enough.  He will take it from there.

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