Monday, October 3, 2011

Thinking the Unthinkable

At the start of the year, I put everything on the table and told God He could remake me however I needed to be remade.  I didn't want to keep anything that is not promoting the kingdom.  I didn't want to get hung up on a good thing so much that I missed the great thing, the God thing.

It has taken me this long to get around to the issue of blogging. 

I've been doing it for a while now; nearly 6 years on Sew Random and three and  half or so here.

I'm a blog advocate.  I think it's a great way to have conversations with folks who don't happen to be close by.  It's a wonderful way to exchange ideas.  For the sewing blog, it's a wonderful resource. 

Blogs can also offer accountability.  My over indulgence in fabric purchases this year is right out on my sidebar on the sewing blog for everyone to see.  The weekly 'Friday Faves' series is keeping me progressing through the Bible...at a high altitude and with great speed, true, but progressing nonetheless.

But I am finding less and less time for blogging.  With the sewing blog, I have a source for material...every time I make something or do anything related to garment construction, I have a blog post.

With the faith blog, it's different.  It requires a much higher level of self-introspection and a much higher level of transparency and vulnerability.  It also has a greater potential for offending other folks.

Tread deep but tread lightly...

And, I'll be honest.  This is not to whine or complain, it's just the truth.  I don't have a big readership.  I'm not sure how many folks are subscribed and so don't show up on the bloglines counts, but judging by the comments left, there aren't many.

Or maybe I just don't write the kind of posts that inspire comments.

Whatever.  I'm in a place now where I'm trying to evaluate my blogging...is it really something I need to keep doing?  Or has it run its course?  Do I need to focus on something else?

I'd miss blogging terribly if I quit.  If no one else gets anything from my posting, sometimes I go back and re-read the old posts and get something that I needed.   I'm not really feeling 'discouraged and ready to quit'...but I am wondering if the lack of feedback/participation/audience is just an  indication that this isn't the time or place I'm supposed to be.

I'm not going to make a hasty decision on this, but the truth is, if I put everything on the table...well, everything means everything. 

So, while I'm not making plans to quit...I am beginning to consider the possibility that it could be Time. 

4 comments:

  1. May I ask you a question? If I remember right, you want to write? Don't you feel like God wants you to develop your writing?

    Maybe you should keep on writing this blog for the experience? For the growth?

    I'm not trying to be snarky, those are just the thoughts that occurred to me when I read this post.

    I'm definitely reading - I'll comment more. I'm bad about the comment thing.

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  2. Oh, that didn't read as snarky. And you're right in that I certainly considered blogging as writing experience.

    And I'm really not shilling for comments! Honest! :-)

    But I did have to own up to the questions I've been dealing with the past few weeks and trying to see what I really and truly am supposed to be doing.

    And it's blogging in general that I'm questioning...really, it's the whole internet thing, I suppose. What is good? What is too much? When is it more distraction than ministry? And if I care too much about how many folks read it, doesn't that mean something? Questions like that...

    I'm not shutting things down any time soon, but I'm looking at it...

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  3. Oh! Now the whole internet thing gives me a bit more of an understanding of what you're talking about. I've wrestled with these very questions myself.

    In prayer asking God to help me be a wise user of the time that I've been given and then I'll come home to spend the day reading blogs. Soooo not what I know God wants (and truthfully, it's not what I want).

    For awhile I tried blogging a bit about my faith. I couldn't do it - to me, it was very personal and I just couldn't figure out how to make that come across to others. I had to face the fact that for me, fluff (sewing) was a lot easier to write about than substance (God). Writing that makes me feel very shallow.

    I do think that you're doing a great job with this blog, but I could certainly understand why you would need to go in another direction.

    BTW, I think God is just as concerned with His readership. ;-)

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  4. BTW, I think God is just as concerned with His readership. ;-) :-D

    Now we're on the same page! Probably everyone with a blog struggles with these questions from time to time...

    And I'm at LEAST going to finish the Faithful Friday series (otherwise, it would be Unfaithful Fridays...), so I have a while to ponder these things.

    Thanks so much for your encouragement!

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