Fathoms Beneath My Feet

Sometimes, in choir, the words of the songs hit me in a new way all of a sudden.

Today, we sang 'Here in My Life' (not sure who wrote it...shame on me!). The choir doesn't sing the verse, but I was listening to the soloist who sang:

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet,
But at Your word, Lord, I'll receive
Faith to walk on oceans deep

And suddenly my perspective on what I need to give to God shifted a bit.

See, I have a irrational fear of water. I had a couple of, um, unpleasant experiences with water growing up and, despite swimming lessons, I still swim pretty much like a rock. I just cannot seem to overcome the complete and total lack of the trust required to actually work with the water instead of fighting it. Deep water gives me a little bit of vertigo. I can almost feel all of that depth below the boat, or on the high water side of the dam, or wherever I might be that's close to water. I have bad dreams about deep water. It's ingrained in me. I can't even let go of the side of my in-laws backyard pool if I'm beyond the rope.

Walking on oceans deep, then, for me, would be something beyond ludicrous. Yet, there I was singing that He is all I need, and at His word I will trust Him to do something as outlandish as walking into a place that I am viscerally afraid to go.

Now, I really and truly do not expect to be put into a place where I will literally be called upon to walk on the surface of any body of water. But I do think that there are areas in which I have the same kind of fear that I will need to be willing to receive the faith to go.

Will I be willing to receive that faith? Or will I feel the oppressiveness of all that depth and freeze up; as if it were fathoms upon fathoms of water upon which I had to walk ?

With all my heart, I want to be one who dares to receive the faith to do it. Just like the song says.